Why do women in an abusive relationship stay with their abusive husbands for so many years?
my sister inlaw is verbally and physicly abused by my brother. i tried telling her to leave him and even my mother offerd to provide her with food and shelter until she can get on her feet. but she went and told my brother. she got really mad at me too. smh i just don't understand why she complains to everyone showing the scars yet gets mad when people try to help her. she married him when she was 14 now she is 24.
14 Answers to "Why do women in an abusive relationship stay with their abusive husbands for so many years?"
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If you don't know be grateful.
Basically you are made to start believing you deserve every punch , slap , stab etc . You are a shell of a person who is in a living hell which is too hard to escape .
It's so complex and the abuser is brilliant in his pursuit .
If it was as simple as leaving then no one would put up with it .
It's no different to why a child doesn't speak up about sexual abuse . they both believe they are at fault .Like (4)
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Because they are to scared to leave or they can't make it without help. Some women are so used to men running out on them that so much like their fathers and any other men in their lives. Most of time women think that they can't get no better man either. I have been abused by almost every man I have ever been with has abused me and the most frequently reason that came acrossed my mind was I was not good enough for them because I never did what I was supposed to do. So for the longest time I thought that that was the way a relationship was supposed to be. Then I met my husband and he treated me like noone else did he made sure that I had everything I needed and everything that I wanted for 5 years and he was married prior to that for 16 years to another woman and they had there aurrments don't get me wrong but he never hit her and he had never hit me either and i thought to my self that is a man. one that can walk away. But after 5 years of being together he started getting up in my face and screaming at me but I had went out and cheated on him with my x that i thought i was still en love with but i wasn't. then i cheated on him agian after that with another x and i don't knowwhy i keep doing that that is when the beating started he said he did not want to split up if i got help and i told him ok just as long as he never brought up the past agian and he agreed but that was notthe end of it he keeps bringing it up anda month ago the left side of my face look like i had been in a car wreak so i left him but we have talked and we are getting back together. i dont know if it a good idea or not but my mother is here for me and i am thankful of that this is our last chancei hope it works out for the best this time does any one have and suggestions for me please reply.
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wow, i suggest you learn to love your self. only then will you be able to fully love another and to be loyal. once you learn to respect and be loyal to yourself. nobody regardeless deserves to be physicaly injured. u r an adult! spanking are int the past! as adults we talk out our problems not hit and act like savages. i hope you don't go back wiith him. be save and remember to love yourself. don't be in a relationship if you are not prepared to commit to it 100%
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fear of leaving , that he might hunt her down maybe , or the idea that he might change if she just hangs in there .
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the first thing that comes to my mind is the phrase " paralized by fear" when you know you need to make a change, but you don't.
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I'd really like to know the answer to this question, too. I have NO sympathy for a woman who repeatedly returns to what she knows will result in more abuse. I think this where the ex
pression "Love is blind" comes from. I think love is deaf, dumb, blind and masochistic. Like (2)
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yup i agree
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No sympathy? Well, Im sure when you get in a sticky situation, others will have no sympathy for you too.Like (1)
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Several reasons. A lot of the times it's the good hot sex. Some guys who know they can deliver well in that department feel it gives them opportunity to take liberties.
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hmmm i don't think thats their case. she's always bitter and when she sees me bringing a guy over she gets very mad as if i'm not suppose to date anyone. smh. she kinda reminds me of those bitter old women that don't get any anymore so they are mad at the world. lmao. besides my brother never even buys her a pizza only himself so i doubt he cares for her sexual needs
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Well, in this case, there's a clue -- getting married at 14 is pretty young, immature. I would imagine that getting married at that age leads to treating hubby (except for the sex part) like daddy. And we all know that daddy's the boss. From personal experience, I stayed in an abusive relationship because I just couldn't face the fact that he was abusive. In addition, he could be the devil, but had a separate personality where he was the nicest, most caring, generous person you could meet. It took me years of abuse to figure out what it was and that he is not the love of my life. I was delusional about reality for so long. It's hard to break that habit.
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yes, she acts as if thats her father. she tells him everything. and sometimes when i would come home late she would run to tell him as if he suppose to punish me. lol. i never understood that either but i kinda get it now. ur right thats like her father. how long did it take you to leave him?
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i've heard a million explanations and i still don't get it. sorry, but in my book they're dumber than a bag of rocks.
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You heard a MILLION explanations and still dont get it XD? And you are calling other people dumb... Oh, and Im sure you must know all of them to say something like this. Shame on you, shame on you. So judgemental.
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often it,s because they feel they can change the man or there is kids in the relationship or it, has too hard or exspensive to live a lone one thing i know is the husband treaten the lady, that if she leaves him, he would kill her or the kids.
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well they do have a son. but ive noticed she can't stand her own kid. my brother however loves his son. or atleast shows it alot more than she does
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I've never understood that either. One punch of slap & he'd be in handcuffs. From what I've heard & seen on TV, some women are too scared to leave-no where to go, no job skills, husband threatens to kill them or their family. With more options now, like shelters, it's hard to understand why someone wouldn't leave.
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yea it's very hard to understand. the fact that my mother is willing to help her and she still refuses makes me think that my sister inlaw is a masochist
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If only there was an easy answer to that question babe. Hmmm,,, why do they ?.
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google pain-****
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Love, fear, lack of self confidence and lack of self worth.
Sometimes they think it is safer for them to stay where they are as they may be brain washed into believing that either he will find her and kill her if she leaves or he makes her feel so worthless and tells her that no one would ever want her.
Everyone wants to feel wanted and loved.Like (1)
Best Answer (Chosen By Asker):
Posted by koyptakh Apr 29th, 2011 at 8:02PM
Hi veronica4everse System shows that roughly 27% of victims show evidence of Stockholm syndrome.[3] The syndrome is named after the Norrmalmstorg robbery of Kreditbanken at Norrmalmstorg in Stockholm, in which the bank robbers held bank employees hostage from August 23 to August 28, 1973. In this case, the victims became emotionally attached to their captors, and even defended them after they were freed from their six-day ordeal. The term "Stockholm syndrome" was coined by the criminologist and psychiatrist Nils Bejerot, who assisted the police during the robbery, and referred to the syndrome in a news broadcast.[4] It was originally defined by psychiatrist Frank Ochberg to aid the management of hostage situations.[
Abuse damages people. It makes them think irrationally. For example, it is common for an abused person to feel responsible for the anger directed towards them. I believe that the Stockhome syndrome is reevent here:
I copied this:
In psychology, Stockholm syndrome is a term used to describe a paradoxical psychological phenomenon wherein hostages express empathy and have positive feelings towards their captors. These feelings are generally considered irrational in light of the danger or risk endured by the victims, who essentially mistake a lack of abuse from their captors as an act of kindness.[1][2] The FBI’s Hostage Barricade Databa
See?
Abused people need therapy and help not condemnation.
best wishes
:)
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