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Why do women stay with abusive men?

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78 Answers to "Why do women stay with abusive men?"

  1. fitchick234 - 36-40 years old - female

    Posted by fitchick234 Jun 24th, 2012 at 1:17PM

    Because the abuse has killed the woman's self esteem and she begins to feel unworthy of love and respect.

    Like (28)

  2. RATM1991 - 18-21 years old - female

    Reply by RATM1991 Jun 25th, 2012 at 10:25PM

    correct. -_-

    Like (1)

  3. wuliheron - 51-55 years old

    Posted by wuliheron Jun 24th, 2012 at 6:05AM

    It's sometimes called "co-dependency". A similar phenomena has been noted among slaves. When people attempt to free slaves they often fight them because no matter how meager their lives may be it is the only life they've ever known.

    Like (16)

  4. abstraction - 46-50 years old - male

    Reply by abstraction Jun 25th, 2012 at 2:24AM

    It's also noted in Stockholm Syndrome.

    Like (1)

  5. jamie333 - 46-50 years old

    Reply by jamie333 Jan 21st, 2013 at 10:08AM

    how do you find another way of life? I have tried to date, but always do somthing to end the relationship like self sabatage, i have so much pain in my heart.

    Like (1)

  6. MmmBabi - 46-50 years old - female

    Posted by MmmBabi Jun 24th, 2012 at 6:01AM

    It can be really hard to leave and the abuser can be very manipulative. It's a really hard situation where there are so many variables involved.

    Like (12)

  7. Missalaineyeus - 46-50 years old - female

    Reply by Missalaineyeus Jun 24th, 2012 at 6:17AM

    That's so true and then there is "this really isn't happening; he really does love me and is good to me" (some of the time) that causes a woman to think that maybe it ISN'T abuse at all; he just "has a problem" with anger, etc...usually, the men are mentally ill; emotionally ill and are in GREAT denial and will not get help and if so, she will finally understand that "this is how he is" and that he will NOT change and he will continue to abuse her...

    Like (1)

  8. MmmBabi - 46-50 years old - female

    Reply by MmmBabi Jun 24th, 2012 at 6:24AM

    Yes...very true. And also it's hard to seek help because, as you can see just from the comments made here to the question, people are VERY judgmental with a complex situation they have little knowledge or understanding of.

    Like (1)

    1 more reply
  9. mimic751 - 22-25 years old - male

    Posted by mimic751 Jun 24th, 2012 at 6:00AM

    A woman who is made to think she is worthless, will not risk being with some one else. either because they dont think they will find any one else. Or they will **** some one else up

    Like (11)

  10. Feflower - 36-40 years old - female

    Posted by Feflower Jul 1st, 2012 at 12:40AM

    because the abuser has a jekyl and hide personality we are always searching for "the magic key"; to "make him happy" :O :O ;(sometimes hes so lovely and the man you fell in love with) and other times (most of the time) hes an abusive *******) crushing and destroying your self worth and self esteem till 'theres none of you left'; (been there and "dumped his ***"; and "left him"; ) (amen! :)

    Like (8)

  11. OceanStar66 - 46-50 years old - female

    Reply by OceanStar66 Dec 16th, 2012 at 5:00AM

    Exactly Feflower, I could not have said it better myself..the jeckyl and hyde men sadly are too common noways...and the women who are strong enough to leave, like us, are too rare...most are weak and do not want to be strong. Their abusers have total control of everything in their life and they think/believe they cannot do any better than the man who has put them down for way too long...I would rather be lonely then with an abusive ******* ever again!!

    Like (1)

  12. OceanStar66 - 46-50 years old - female

    Reply by OceanStar66 Dec 16th, 2012 at 5:01AM

    ...too common nowadays...

    Like (1)

    2 more replies
  13. maninconn - 51-55 years old - male

    Posted by maninconn Jun 24th, 2012 at 6:50AM

    THey have no where else to go, no money, and feel robbed of their future. They feel totally hopeless and worthless, and can't believe anyone else wants someone as broken as the abuser made them believe they are.

    Like (8)

  14. mariusthered - 41-45 years old - male

    Posted by mariusthered Jun 24th, 2012 at 6:04AM

    lots of reasons , but the main one i came across is fear of living alone or worried about supporting kids without the guys job paying for stuff. there is help and support out there for everyone if they can be brave enough to fight for it.

    Like (5)

  15. AaronMountainOfStrength - 18-21 years old

    Posted by AaronMountainOfStrength Jun 24th, 2012 at 6:01AM

    For the children. Usually.

    Like (5)

  16. AaronMountainOfStrength - 18-21 years old

    Reply by AaronMountainOfStrength Nov 26th, 2012 at 8:00AM

    I agree with you.

    Like (1)

  17. artbandit - 31-35 years old - male

    Posted by artbandit Jun 24th, 2012 at 6:01AM

    because they "love" him.

    Like (5)

  18. 85continuum - 26-30 years old - male

    Reply by 85continuum Jun 25th, 2012 at 12:17AM

    I hear that one a lot on Jerry Springer.

    Like (1)

  19. OceanStar66 - 46-50 years old - female

    Reply by OceanStar66 Dec 16th, 2012 at 5:04AM

    as I told a friend of mine the other day who is 'knee deep in love' with her abuser..."WHAT'S TO LOVE?????!!!!!!"...the nice side of him, the Jeckyl part is a FACADE.

    Like (1)

  20. foreverbluewolf - 41-45 years old - female

    Posted by foreverbluewolf Jun 26th, 2012 at 11:53PM

    fear of being hunted, killed, violence, retaliation,exposure, embarrassment, shame, fear of loved one's being hurt, businesses and personal business being exposed, black mail, having a house robbed (it happened), getting fired from a job, from repeated phone calls, other ugly happenings and more

    Like (4)

  21. invisiblonde - 51-55 years old - female

    Posted by invisiblonde Jun 25th, 2012 at 10:44PM

    Because they have NO family, NO friends, and NO other place to go.

    Like (4)

  22. ARTOFNOISE - 46-50 years old - male

    Posted by ARTOFNOISE Jun 24th, 2012 at 6:01AM

    FEAR OF WHAT LEAVING/STARTING OVER WILL BRING.

    Like (4)

  23. nobodylovesmebutme - 36-40 years old - female

    Reply by nobodylovesmebutme Jun 25th, 2012 at 10:10PM

    That's correct. That is what i feel...

    Like (1)

  24. DeGracia - 51-55 years old - female

    Posted by DeGracia Nov 25th, 2012 at 8:22PM

    Studies show that the abusers... men ...help the abused women produce the hormones oxytocin...it is a very powerful feel good hormone...it is a subconscious thing...makes sense...read about the hormones oxytocin. See what you think & share

    Like (3)

  25. 8pops - 31-35 years old - female

    Reply by 8pops Jul 1st, 2012 at 4:30PM

    So the abuser is good for something then! well id rather do without that silly feel GOOD?hormone thankyou

    Like (1)

  26. DeGracia - 51-55 years old - female

    Reply by DeGracia Jul 1st, 2012 at 4:33PM

    No kidding...I would rather jump off a bridge...actually it is sold...not expensive...I actually think it would be great to donate $ to a women's Shelter...to see if there are volunteers

    Like (1)

    2 more replies
  27. Pmacphoto - 66-70 years old - male

    Posted by Pmacphoto Jul 1st, 2012 at 9:21AM

    That is how they were brought up.

    Like (3)

  28. girlcapitol - 51-55 years old - female

    Posted by girlcapitol Jun 29th, 2012 at 12:58AM

    They see the scared boy inside and feel sorry that he endured such suffering as a child; they understand why he turned out like this and believe their love will teach him to trust and their patience will set an example...

    Like (3)

  29. 8pops - 31-35 years old - female

    Reply by 8pops Jul 1st, 2012 at 4:33PM

    I know seriously some guys really do have horrible mothers and it messes with their minds regarding what a normal relationship is all about and they get angry with the world and take it out on the person the love the most.

    Like (1)

  30. catalystnow - 51-55 years old - female

    Reply by catalystnow Sep 4th, 2012 at 2:28AM

    So true mothers hurt them and 30 years of love can't fix it.

    Like (1)

    1 more reply
  31. johnnywillsave - 26-30 years old - male

    Posted by johnnywillsave Jun 25th, 2012 at 11:36PM

    Because they are stupid and scared.

    Like (3)

  32. khawk7921 - 26-30 years old - female

    Posted by khawk7921 Jun 25th, 2012 at 11:28PM

    Because it takes a woman 7 times to leave and they love the man with their heart

    Like (3)

  33. Shedevil5924 - 36-40 years old - female

    Posted by Shedevil5924 Jun 25th, 2012 at 7:53PM

    Because we are beeten down and believe inside that we can change him. He loves me and I love him. Took me 10 years to realize how bad it was. Hearing every day,,you're fat. You're ugly. You're disgusting. No decent guy will ever want you. But now I know the signs to look for so no other man will ever do that to me again. I am pretty and I am thin. And I'm worth it!!!!! Kiss my "A" abusers!!!!!!!

    Like (3)

  34. itsallaparadox - 26-30 years old - male

    Reply by itsallaparadox Aug 4th, 2012 at 3:59AM

    True dat Devil :) I'm so happy for you....and I'm glad you're still around with all us crazies :P

    Like (1)

  35. lifesanadventure - 22-25 years old - male

    Posted by lifesanadventure Jun 25th, 2012 at 12:39AM

    because she is made to feel no one else will want her, he will tell her lies and brainwash her telling her she is ugly, stupid, worthless,,,whatever......he controls her and before she knows it she is afraid of him and what he will do to her. He has already slowly cut off all her contact with family and friends so that she feels she has no one to turn to but him, She feels embarassed, vulnerable and alone so she stays and a lot of times doesn't know how to get out of the relationship. I know because my cousin was married to one but he is in jail serving time and she is safe now. :)

    Like (3)

  36. GTR1400 - 61-65 years old - male

    Posted by GTR1400 Jun 24th, 2012 at 7:09AM

    Because they are attracted to exciting jerks.

    Like (3)

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