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MousePajamas MousePajamas 36-40, M 17 Answers Sep 16, 2009

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Feelings come and go. Dr. Phil said that the secret to a long and lasting marriage is that no two partners fell out of love at the same time. I have had times when I didn't love my husband, I've had times when I tried to love him when he was unloveable, I now love him more than anything! For all that we have gone through together and to finally have gotten to this place is amazing! I really do feel unconditional love for him now and we are both very much in love. I could have left but then I chose to love him when he was unlovable. He could have left me but he chose to forgive me.

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I am on my third marriage, I don't think I've loved any of them, my first 2 marriages were becuz of kids, and my third is becuz Taxes were cheaper as a married couple. I've been married now for 10 years, and I see myself with her for quite a few more years, not for tax reasons but for our children. I do fear I will NEVER experience love in this life.

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I'm currently involved with a girl who says she loves me but is afraid of that life will be like without her longtime spouse,but says she doesn't love him.she is currently living at their residence.we have to sneak around and I just don't know what to do.

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Cheaper to keepher?

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Because it is so hard to know whether you truly do not love them......or is it just a phase? in my situation that is the case. <br />
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Boredom?<br />
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Other than that, there is so much that can keep you in a relationship. <br />
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Fear of being alone... Kids...hurting your spouse, just because you aren't in love with them anymore doesn't mean you wish harm on them. Routine. <br />
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Change is hard, but definitely well worth it in the end. Do what makes you happy.

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Because I want my children to see their dad every morning,...Because of financial reasons,...Because he is the only man I have ever been with and can't imagine being with anyone else,...Because I don't really want to be on my own and on the "meat market" like some of my single friends and lastly because occasionally I still love him.

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children, money, giving him the chance(over and over and over) to grow up, self-esteem issues, family of origin issues, fear

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You shouldn't. It will only make you despise yourself for it. Leave. The only two things that generally do that are children and finances. But that still doesn't justify staying. It's only a mistake which you will regret later. Leave.

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I have known some people who do it for their children. Divorce is always hard on kids and so they stay together until their children are all grown up and moved out. I have seen some couples who have just been together so long, and just stay in the marriage because they just dont want to have to deal with the whole dating thing again or just feel like they might as well since they have been together for so long... some even do it based upon their religion. Many ppl do it for many different reasons..

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Fear of being alone most likely,

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I've never been married, and wouldn't even say I've had a "real and healthy" committed relationship so maybe I shouldn't be talking. Maybe when people get married they feel like they are giving themselves to this one person for the rest of their life.. and maybe feel like no matter how horrible the situation gets this is what they chose and they kind of have to just deal with it? Honestly I know if I ever got married and then wanted to get a divorce I would feel stupid b/c I feel when you marry someone that should be it... obviously if there's abuse or something no one should stay in that type of marriage... but if its just falling out of love or going in different directions or something it just kind of seems like "wow couldn't you have figured that out before you got married?"

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