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theprojects theprojects 31-35, M 7 Answers Feb 11, 2013 in Affairs

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I think some people cheat because they can get away with it. I have a friend who got cheated on, broke up and got back together with the same guy FIVE TIMES.

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I think people cheat because they are selfish and there's no excuse for it. None. People act like they have no control of their bodies or minds and that's a bunch of BS. <br />
I know I'd never do that to a person I'm in a committed relationship with. It's completely out of the question because I'm not cruel and I'm not selfish. Don't bother with any "But..." stories because no matter what the "but", it all comes down to selfishness.

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I haven't cheated yet, but I am the most tempted I have ever been. In my case it is a matter of eleven years of being mostly ignored by my husband, in spite of trying everything to work things out including a few years of counseling, plus an unplanned meeting of someone truly interesting who also finds me interesting.

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This is what I'm talking about. Because your relationship isn't working out, you're tempted to go to someone else. It's just easier isn't it? It's easier to cheat and get what you want than to end a bad relationship. I don't get it. If things are bad, you work them out, you don't cheat. If things are impossible to work out, just move on.
I'm sorry for picking on your comment personally. I don't mean it like that. I just don't understand is all.

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No, that's fine that you want things clarified. In my case I am a 57 year old disabled woman without the ability to work. My husband is my sole means of income. I have found MANY alternative medical helps for my condition, that at least keep me from being in absolute physical agony around the clock to the point that I am unable to sleep and I throw up all the time and have electrical shock like pain shoot through my legs continually. Without my husband's income I would not have access to the things that help me physically. Nevertheless, I did tell him a few weeks back that I would rather live in poverty alone than live with him -- that was when I met the other guy, with whom I am attempting to have a platonic only relationship. Anyway, initially my husband said okay and sounded like he was going to look for a job out of town -- which has been his pattern during our married life. I had to verbally hit him over the head, which for me means that I raised my voice, and tell him that I didn't get married in order to live alone. That got his attention and is was then that he entered counseling and finally quit his job elsewhere and moved back in with me. I knew us living together would be the only way to ever have a chance of turning our marriage into a real marriage. Anyway, I can't stand living with him, but he's decided that he doesn't want to be away from me now. So a couple of days after I asked him to move away again, he came back and said that he's going to win me back. We then went to a new counselor for another couple of session and at least now he will wash his hands after he touches extremely dirty things, yes, he has been that disgusting since we married. However, he still talks AT me rather than with me. He still either doesn't listen to me at all or doesn't bother to process what I say. He still treats me like he thinks I'm an idiot. I want him out of my life, I just don't know how to provide myself financially. It's not that I'm keeping this secret from him either. In way that is the situation in which I find myself.

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I see union people taking advantage of their contract all the time. I can't give specifics, though.

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