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SeaDragon9 SeaDragon9 41-45, M 10 Answers Nov 16, 2013 in Dating & Relationships

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Coming from someone who married two men who were much older than me (divorced now) and dated older men all my life until now. <br />
The reason I did, I hated how guys were so immature at my age. They didn't act responsible or even care about feelings. I was living on my own since I was 15. I was responsible for cooking, cleaning, paying bills, and doing what needed to be done to survive. I loved the freedom and independence but now since I am now 29 its been 14 years and life has been hard on me. The men i dated and married some of them were immature even though they were much older than me. I don't and didnt have DADDY issues but I wanted a gentleman, a responsible person, someone mature like I was, and yes even though I was 15 i was mature for my age. And it was nice knowing they had an idea of what needed to be done, even if I didn't yet. :)

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Thank you for your reply. That is very interesting.

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No problem, just giving my insight and experience so maybe you can understand or get a perspective on it :)

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How did you find older guys when you were 15? I would have thought men would have run for the hills....the whole jail thing and all...

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I met the first one online, he was 26 then I fell for a coworker when i was 17 he was 21. When I was 19 I married my neighbor who i began dating when i turned 18 he was 47 at the time, 48 when we married. I remarried when i was 24 to a man who was 42 at the time. I have since been divorced and currently engaged but the guy is younger than me this time.

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Thank you for that. I am glad you are happy. I appreciate you taking the time to chat.

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No problem! Its nice to give to give some insight into it without getting judged for doing the things I did. :)

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do they?

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Because much older guy's know how to treat a lady, i have a G/F 35 year's younger than me

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Maybe Daddy issues. Maybe they're tired of their immature counterparts. Maybe you're a teen and that guy in his twenties isn't half bad. The law says no but your hormones say yes. It's a crazy world, I don't know.

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I have heard that girls say it is the maturity of older guys they like.

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because they have money

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The men i were with didn't have much, I did though for a while anyway :/ so I don't think all of us do it for that reason

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I ran out. My family quit helping me. I guess that was a lesson that needed to be taught. I was a quick learner and had money in the bank. I was 16 and wanted/needed this car I saw for 14,000. I tapped into it through charm and street smarts and book smarts and got my account transferred to a bank where I could get the money and soon I realized all 22,000 was gone. In literally less than a month. It was sad..now that I think about it. I was naive and I wanted my man to be happy.. stupid and naive

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Nothing illegal I hope!

Some younger ladies, from what I understand, have an affinity for an older man for various reasons.

Two of which should be looked out for as a potential crash and burn include girls with 'daddy issues' and 'gold diggers'.

It could be likely that they feel more comfortable around 'older' men as their maturity matches.

Every one is different, who can say.
Life has so many factors from one moment to the next.

That's life.

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I feel you on that one, I'm 12 and I carve guys up to 20 years old, you are not alone

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Probably the idea of them being more "mature" than the guys their age.

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I have heard that. Is it just the maturity part? I guess it is the whole package. I am thinking that an older guy gives a feeling of security and a deeper love.
I am not sure if I am even close to the mark there. It is just an assumption.

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It's a possibility. An older man is more likely to be financially and emotionally secure and more likely to sympathize with the girl. Younger girls usually look for that romantic love they see in the media, especially teenage girls. And sometimes they think an older man can give them that. It really depends on the girl involved in this scenario.

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Ohhhh I hadn't thought about that aspect of it.
I just find the subject fascinating. That is why I am asking.

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I see. Well it is a very interesting subject. But it's also a very dangerous thing for a young girl to do. There's the chance that the man will do all she expects him to do and be at least mostly what she expects him to be, but an older man can also have needs that a younger girl just can't provide. For example, if a teen girl was dating a man in his early to mid 20's. He could want anything from sex to just more intimacy in general, but she may not be willing or able to provide this for him. Which could lead to cheating or maybe something worse. Then there's always the risk of the man being possessive and/or abusive. It's already difficult for a woman of the same age as a man to get out of a relationship like that, but if a young girl who doesn't know much about the world is caught up in it, it'll be even harder because she may not know what's going on at all.

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You are very wise indeed. I guess there are a lot of girls in that situation with older guys.

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Thank you. And yes, many end up in this situation, it's quite sad really.

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