Because they would rather date someone who isn't going to act like a 5 year old. I prefer to date guys who are older rather than younger than me. Maybe not that much older, but the concept is still the same. But really, I don't see how age should matter when it comes to attraction... if you like someone, you like them.
Just don't go for the ones who have nothing but air floating through their pretty skulls....
But those are the most fun! ;)
Maturity. Plus we know how to treat a lady nicely!
I watch the young bucks, and I'm surprised ANY of those idiots get laid!
Younger women who choose to be with older men do so because they can. True, there are older men who chase young women for a lot of reasons. We are sold on youth by society, that some don't buy into it is the reason some marriages last so long. Some men are trying to recapture youth, that's true too. Some young girls may be genuinely attracted or they may be trying to recapture what they really felt for their fathers. Who knows and who cares?
Women can't deny the existence of "Cougars" as older women attracted to young men are called. It's they way things are. The question originally posed in this post probably wasn't ba
That a loving relationship can cross and ignore the imagined boundaries of time is where the wonder comes in. The answer is simple, most of society's disapproving taboos about behavior are ba
Just imagine a society in which the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation between legally and church sanctioned married people is a perversion. Not possible? Then just imagine a society that believes the pinnacle of morality is one in which young girls should have their clitorises removed in puberty and be used only as a masturbatory device by men.
We live in a strange world full of strange practices and beliefs. That a young woman can be attracted to an older man and that society should judge either of them harshly is truly a waste of time. There are far worse things than a loving relationship between two people.
I agree with you that the notion of May-December relationships springing from some developmental flaw is insulting. Most of the antipathy towards it is pure projection. Fear of the inevitable; of aging, of missing the boat, of becoming less attractive and falling victim to the very things they judge. I should know all about this. I did the same thing.
This is a REPOST: Copied and pasted from online article... Has valid points..
It's pure attraction. The way you carry yourself draws them to you. That's how it is sometimes. The first time I met the father of my closest male friend from high school, I could not help myself. I found myself flirting with his father. I was about 21 years old and his father was 67 if I remember correctly. I still find him incredibly sexy, even at the 70 yr old mark. He is in great shape and looks at least 20 yrs younger.
Maybe they feel safe next to you & sees u as a gentleman
I am a 57-year-old man living with a 25-year-old woman. It's now been 2 1/2 years! She started working for me as an hourly assistant, and over the course of a couple of months started flirting in subtle ways. Eventually, it became obvious that she was attracted to me, and the rest is history. I am seeing this more and more May-December relationships, and contrary to popular opinion, they aren't all about money.
Frankly, when I was single the women who came onto me were always a lot younger. I couldn't find an "age-appropriate" woman to save my life, primarily because the really hot ones were chasing either younger men or men their identical age. It was a no-win situation.
But who am I to complain? :)
I am seeing this too.The young men are becoming more and more immature so any young woman with a lot going for her would not give them the time of day.It is not about money,but rather about a strong connection.First an attraction,then a connection.If a man and a woman connect, after having been attracted to one another,age becomes totally irrelevant.If the connection is there it is something to be valued and will doubtless last the test of time.The onlooker has to respect that fact and envy the couple concerned rather than criticize them.
Be careful about your punctuation. Some people use translators to be able to read what you say, and they often struggle with misspelled words, and always struggle when there is no space after a period or coma. Not a grammar geek, just learned this the hard way.
You are exactly correct. It's a chemistry no one can explain. It doesn't happen to people who are bitter and critical because they don't how to live or be loved
Very well put. Young men are conditioned to expect more from women than they're age are willing to sacrifice in the name of liberation. This is feminism's worst nightmare. I'll elaborate later.
I am dating a 72 year old man and you are right. It's not about money. He is the second older man I have been with. The first was was 65 and I was with him til he died. Although there are alot of downfalls to being with an older man I find that they are much more experienced in life and in love and know how to treat a woman in every way. You aren't as old but the girls you are with are probably looking for security and stability with or without money. Watch out though cause some girls do go after men for their money.
Um, I'm not with a "young" woman now nor am I looking. I was just answering a question and offering a perspective based on observation and experience. One thing I observe is people least sure of themselves tend to judge others more stringently. No one really cares what they think, but I feel passionately judgmental people, especially in matters of other people's relationships and sexuality, are frustrated. And rather than harping on what they don't like in others, perhaps they should look to what makes them happy within themselves. They're not going to change others, perhaps they'd be happier changing their attitude.
I am 72 and I have a 21 year old lady wanting a relationship badly. She knows she will be treated properly and not used. She knows she will get what she always wanted, companionship ,
Intimacy and fun.
Experience is essential
There's an old adage about a young bull and an old bull standing on a hill overlooking a herd of heifers. The young bull runs down the hill, the old bull strolls.
I'm 55 .. not too bad looking, in good shape.. but I don't turn heads like I use to bud. Not even like I did just 5 years ago, but that's ok. I understand that as a guy ages the number of women who will find him attractive will decrease. When I was in my 40's, I had a difficult time keeping women off me and got into A LOT of trouble because I didn't have the self control to turn them down.
they are chasing the father that ran out on them
This is a bulls eye. No paternal presence.
Most younger women I know that date much older guys do not come from broken families. Most come from very well adjusted families with the father figure not only intact, but also with him setting a very good example for is daughter. Think about it...is she going to be more attracted to older men if the primary older man in her life was not a good man, or if he was a good man?
This notion of "daddy issues," is a feminist created notion to try to make it appear that there is something wrong with a woman who is in a relationship with an older man.
For feminists, it's all about power, and the stereotype is that if the woman is younger in the relationship, then she is the less powerful in the relationship, however if she is older, then she is more powerful in the relationship, so the truth is, feminists hate older man younger woman relationships but love older woman younger man relationships. This is literally the one relationship make-up that they hate. All others they are either neutral on or approve of.
They are not kids they are young women but since u see them in that way means you don't love any of them, I'm also in that situation and my partner respects me and treats me equally its been amazing 18 months now
Maturity for one is a huge reason,most guys our age are only after 1 thing or all they want to do is party . So yeah most deffnetly for more than just a good time. Hope that helps?
Author, which biker club (MC) are you patched in with?
Ha ha ha ! ;D
Here's my take on this ''epidemic'...'
Look at the steady growth in the rate of divorce over the last, say, 35 years, give or take 10... What is the effect? well, there are more young women than ever in society today who grew up without a positive fatherly influence in the home. You know, after the divorce, the father often becomes less involved in the lives of his children, even when the custody is split. Even worse, a divorced father will commonly start a new family after his divorce and will in turn begin to show less interest in his children from his previous marriage.
What does this leave us with? A rather sizable number of young women in the general population today who grew up with a deficiency in the department of having a positive elder male (father fig.) in their lives.
Like somebody poster earlier in this thread, young women, often seek out stability and maturity when entering a relationship, the odds are better they will find just that in an elder gent.
George Gilder wrote about this phenomenon back in 1974 and it is becoming a reality. Your points are valid. Fatherless homes, men dropping out of school and out of the professional workplace, skyrocketing divorce and so on has paved the way for what women seek most, which is security, both financial and emotional. I get it ans do most people I'm sure. This doesn't take anything away from the validity of the relationships, however. What it does do is whack society's financial future, but someone else will have to deal with that.
it actually makes more sense that a woman would be less inclined to chase after older men if their father was not a good man. I am not sure why in every ohter situation, they get it right but on this one, they insist on using reverse psychology. For instance, if you come from a broken home, the stats say you are less inclined to get married and if you do you are more likely to end up in divorce. If your mother was a horrible person you are less likely to respect women...etc... But if the fatehr was absent, or a bad man, then the woman must have daddy issues. yes, if the one single most important older man in her life turns out to be a bad person, she will seek out older men as a result. Give me a break.
By this reasoning, women who chase younger men also had a bad relationship with their fathers, or can't deal on an intellectual level with men their own age or older. Oh...wait...that IS true.
But what about the young men who chase after older women? Are they just doing so because they are from broken homes?
The simple fact is this has nothing to do with women having daddy issues. The truth is, good men are in short supply, and so women will go for a good man when they find him, often regardless of his age or his race, etc...
It money.....sooner or later....it's about money.
Sooner or later it's always about money because living under a bridge isn't the way most of us want to spend the short time we have on earth. The only time that wasn't about money i was too young to know what the hell it even was. It's always about money first, human beings second.
But that's not "The Reason," that younger women date and marry older men. The stats prove that most men and women in these relationships are not wealthy. That's the stereotype. Actually, women should be offended by these stereotypes. It makes them out to be greedy, or mental cases, simply for doing what they want. See, the stereotypes are that if a woman is with a much older man, it could never be because he is attractive to her, and that she loves him. It could never be just that they click, and actually love each other...no, there's got to be an angle here. It's BS. Most women in these relationships are actually more mature, and well adjusted women. The truth is, the real mental cases are the Cougars...women who often destroy their marriages for the very same reasons some men do...they can't accept the fact that they are getting older. So they have to relive their youth, and sell out for some young guy who more than likely, is only interested in a short term relationship, and there are much higher than average odds that he will leave her when her age really starts showing. Think Ashton and Demi. Once she could no longer ward off the effects of age...once she actually started looking older, he left and has now been dating a whose who list of young hotties, such as Mila Kunis.
Generally to be honest a younger woman dosent feel any sort of lust or attraction for say an 80 year old man. they may want a father figure, but they dont want to be intimate. ometimes men try so hard to ignore that they are no onger desitreable, and its selfish of them to expect a woman to give up her youth, her glory days to settle down in s eniorland. maybe you are thinking they want you but they simply are being nice and desire is the last thing on their mind. everyone gets old. also i want to add after meeting one nasty perverted old man from the navy "hell hath no fury like a retired navy seal who pays the bills of a bunch of scorned old women scorned."
Your example of the "80-year-old" is a tired cliche. Try 50 and 25 and re-write your comment.
I will almost bet that guy was NOT former SEAL either. Most SpecWar types won't even tell you. Trust me.
When they are actually on active duty, and or recently retired, true...but then, most don't have to spout about it...people around them already know. It only takes one person knowing and then it spreads. Also, I have known some who are older and retired, or have been out of the service for a while, and they will make sure the word gets out. They are human to and humans like to be recognized for their achievements. And a former Seal who is no longer "special" can and will let that word get out so that those around him will give him the respect he feels is due. Yes, I've seen it, and not just stories, but pictures, etc...
Also, keep in mind that she was in a relationship with the guy for a while, so it would have come out, even with somebody who doesn't normally tell.
Generally to be honest a younger man doesn't feel any sort of lust or attraction for say an 40 year old woman. they may want a mother figure, but they don't want to be intimate. Sometimes women try so hard to ignore that they are no longer desirable, and its selfish of them to expect a man to give up his youth, his glory days to settle down in seniorland. Maybe you are thinking they want you but they simply are being nice and desire is the last thing on their mind. everyone gets old.
Sorry, had to have fun with that. OK, to be honest, if a woman has worked very hard to maintain her looks, she can actually attract a younger man...but...and this is a big but...no pun intended...he is a lot less likely to be interested in long term, and even if he does commit to long term, most are from broken homes and don't see this as "till death do us part." The odds of this ending in divorce are way way higher than normal. It's a ridiculous notion to think that a man is less likely to leave a woman when she is no longer desirable to him, if he marries an older woman. He is more likely to do so. Look, the reason he is inclined to get married to her is because hse has maintained her beauty and warded off age longer than most her age. But it is going to catch up to her with a vengeance and when it does, his desire for her is going to decline rapidly. When that happens, she beter hope he is a very religious person who strives to be a better person who looks past age and beauty, because if he isn't, he is likely going to cheat, or he will leave her for a younger woman. Now get this...he will be more succesful at doing this because he is also younger. It's actually harder for a man her age or older to leave and find a younger more beautiful woman. But a man ten years younger than her can more easily find a woman between 10 and 20 years younger than she is. So what do you think the odds are that a man who is now successful, has no child support to pay, and still looks young at 40, can leave his 50 year old wife and find a 34 year old wife? Think a man can't do math? In 15 years the 50 year old is actually a Senior Citizen, but the 34 year old won't even be 50 yet. SO now ask yourself how realistic it is that a man who marries an older woman, because she is well maintained, will ignore it when she can no longer maintain? Now you can see why it actually makes sense for a woman to marry an older guy. A 40 year old woman, who marries a 50 year old guy, will ALWAYS be a young hotty to him. I know, I've been there. At 28 I dated a woman who was 37, but couldn't get it out of my mind that she was "older" even though she was very very hot. 5'9" perfect...and I mean perfect butt, big breasts, toned legs and tummy from working out so much, pretty face, long curly hair. Every younger guy on base that had seen her, was jealous of me. I ran into her 6 years later, and she was no longer well maintained. She did not look attractive to me at all, at the time. However, I can still see her image in my mind, and have to admit that as a 50 year old, I would have been attracted t her. Yes, at 28, a woman 37 was old. Hot, yes, but still old. Now, a 37 year old...even a 43 year old is a young hotty.
It is what it is.
I have the same question and the same issue
Why question providence? Being old enough to know life is full of lovely surprises is sometimes enough.
nothing personal to you or your age but...
I am 34 and fresh on the dating scene. I find that the 55 and older club are trying to chase me. I find this personally revolting because these men could be dating or sleeping with my mother.
When I told her this she was "now I know why I can't find a man my own age, their chasing the 34 year olds".
I also find it discusting that my 35 year old x-husband was chasing the 18-20 yr olds he was in class with.
As you can see, some young women don't find older men disgusting and that's true of younger men being attracted to more mature women as well. It takes all kinds and it's possible some people may find your tastes and proclivities abhorrent.
Understand, not all men (old or young) are chasing anybody. Sometimes someone is genuinely attracted and age doesn't seem to be a factor. I think men who love women (of any age, and respect them) are attractive to all women and maybe especially to some younger ones who may be seeking quality in their relationships rather than the frenetic fumbling of youth.
Life is too short to be disgusted by anything that appeals to others. Being too judgmental ruins relationships and sends lovers in other directions. You may have already experienced that perhaps. This isn't to suggest you "try it", just that being disgusted is such a waste of time.
think about it, would you want to date or be involved with someone that your own mother was involved with? sorry but that is not appealing and neither is a man that is old enough to be my father or grandfather. just my opinion and I have the right to it and to put out my view because not all girls are looking for the older guys.
Very true, and your opinion isn't only a right, but it's most welcome and interesting as far as I'm concerned.
I just felt the word "disgusting" in your original answer was a bit judgmental and strong. As you say, everyone is entitled to an opinion, but being judged harshly for it is still another thing.
I suggest the next time some old dude comes on to you that you take it as a compliment and ask if they have a son who's not too old for you. That will send them home to their Geritol and arthritis medication. "-) JH
Don't knock it till you tried it. Once you do you won't want to share it.
My response would be to ask you if you have a daughter that that wants to be with respect and treated the way a woman wants to be treated. I am 72 and she would be looking forward to the next date.
Men don't see age disparity the way women do. A 55-year-old man sees a 35-year-old woman as age appropriate, particularly in big cities. By the way, I have never "chased" in young women. After a certain age you have to let them do it, and more and more are.
My girlfriends has "normal well-adjusted" friends who feel as you do and that's fine. Maybe we are weird. I don't know and don't care. There are reasons behind every union that are often more complex than they appear, even in couples of the same age demographic. Personally, i would have preferred being with someone older, but it just didn't happen. You take love where you can get it -- or in my case, where it finds you.
Please define "chasing." It seems that all women are under the impression that men "chase." But that usually ends at about age 40. Then the tables turn and women do it. When I was in college I "chased" women in the sense that I boldly approached and propositioned them, usually with success. I would never do that kind of thing today.
"Disgusting" is a word weapon like "Creepy" designed to stereotype and stigmatize older men.
That's up to you, but other women don't have this problem. BTW, a 55 year old guy would have only been 19 or 20 to have been your father. Thats not a huge separation. Back when I was 24 a 51 year old lady seduced me. She's now approx 82.. and NO I don't think we would be going into the bedroom at this point. There seems to be a "bell-curve" for compatibility between men & women. The further out you get, the less you're going to find someone who will find you attractive.
But, anywhere within that area, you'll find all kinds of people attracted to each other.
So try and hookup with younger men. Be a cougar
LOL, yeah, and she will end up like the majority of Cougars...more sexual partners than she will ever admit to, and more broken hearts than she can stand. I've seen it way too often. Oh sure, she might hit the lottery and find that one in one million yunger guys that will not only marry her but stay with her for life...but the odds are that she will have a long string of sexual partners, and no marriage. Less likely is a marriage...and so rare, she is more likely to win the lottery, she might find the one guy who won't leave her for younger women, once her looks fade.
I do not judge you for not wanting to date men 20+ years older than you. But I am curious as to what age range you do use to determine if a man is somebody you would date?
prove it lol
Older women have too much baggage. Too set in their ways. and are looking for a meal ticket. Younger women are alive. Its like looking at a freshly blossomed flower, not one that has wilted under the weight of time. Younger women don't have this attitude problem that older women do. They appreciate the things you do for them without complaints. They say you become like your enviroment....that says it all.
I am a younger women who does have a attraction to a older man. this does not mean I walk around and check out men in there 50's. I honestly have a connection with the man , because of his mental maturity. Yes there is sexual pull a young girl does not waist her youth on a older male. actually they know how to treat a women much better.
We've had an extra 20-30 or however many years to understand how women like to be treated in a relationship. Plus we've done all of our crazy partying. Our friends and ourselves are no longer seen as idiotic by society as we have grown out of the 'Everything is a challenge to my masculinity' stage that young men naturally go through. This leaves us more open to the wishes, emotions and needs of others in our lives. Most of us have learned to listen and this in my opinion is one of the biggest things you can do to make a woman feel loved. Which is basically for whatever reason most of us are after.