the way it is. the son will cleave to the wife. :/

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In western culture, newly married people go off on their own to establish new homes. It is only the very poor who remain with their parents. In many cases, parents are anxious for their children to leave, so that they can finally have a return to the peace and quiet they knew before they had children. I worked with the elderly for a time, and I saw many families who had their elderly relative living with them, and the stress and the fighting in the house were a source of suffering for everyone in the family.

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thats wrong! . Isnt it their duty to take care..
of the elderlies, as they were taken care when they were kids ?
well-its all about love and respect i feel.........

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In western culture, it is about love....and duty rarely enters into it....because except for military duty, westerners don't often hold to that concept. The families I have seen in western culture WANT to help their parents....because they do love them....but sometimes it is simply too difficult for them. I am thinking of my former clients who suffered from Alzheimers and dementia. Those families were living a nightmare.

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yes-and when it comes to care-u cant get best possible care with money always-right ? the care of the family cant be compared with .....

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I both agree and disagree....and I will tell you why, based on my experience working with the elderly and their families. I witnessed, personally, many families who were attempting to take care of their elders at home. One daughter used to get very angry with her mother, and would shout at her. That mother and daughter would shout at eachother all the time, and the mother confided in me....and told me she was not wanted. One son I witnessed used to insult his mother, and say horrible things to her. He told her not to worry, because she was going to be in the ground really soon....in my hearing. Things had become so bad, I was brought in to help. Both of those families ended up putting their elders in nursing care facilities, where the people taking care of them were kind, and polite, and where they made friends and got to go on outings to museums and restaurants. So...you tell me....were those elders better off with their families?

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well-there are typical cases at times, but imagine tomorrow if we need anyhelp-and ourloved ones are not besides us- it would be sad! and besides, where is the guarantee others would look after us as well as our kids?

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I know that when the time comes, my son will place me in a nursing home....and because I have worked in nursing homes, I know that the people working there are kinder than my son ever would or could be.

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Where in the world are you talking about? because it depends on cultures and the offspring's personality.

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Its not about culture-read the question. Isnt it their duty to take care..
of the elderlies, as they were taken care when they were kids ?
well-its all about love and respect i feel.........

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No, not their duty. Nice if they do it, but not their obligation. I hope they were raised to be autonomous human beings and not an extension of my wants and needs.

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there u are_nice if they do it!

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That's a world of difference from their duty.

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Are you living with YOUR parents? Kids grow up and move out. They can take care of their parents as necessary without living with them

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yes-i am living with them...

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You came back or never moved out?

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i never moved out!

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So youre like 48 or so and have lived in your parents house your whole life? Ok i guess its a great way to save on rent but in any case the norm is that people get a life of their own and move out and the parents are happy with them doing so

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you may have ur views, but leme tell u its nothing about saving rent. Its sad, how you conclude that when i never mentioned it, but i dont blame you-u are moulded that way!

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I didnt say thats the reason. Just noted it as a plus for those who do it. And if in your culture its the norm to get married live with your parents till they die raise the kids there in the grandparents house and your parents wife and kids are good with that then fine. There are cultures that are tribal that way. But at least in the wrstern world thats not the norm. So great. You dont blame me for my western views cause thats who i am and i wont blame you for your charming yet antiquated view cause thats who you are. Me ive been working for the past few weeks on a mass dinner to honor my fathers life work so im feeling good with my relationship to him and hes happy having the privacy of his home and being self sufficient. So each to their own and lets try not to judge ourselves as superior just because we have different cultural approaches.

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fine-so be it:) enjoy ur dinner-tc, God bless!

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