dont just get out of the house get him out of your life...........he is not going to change anytime soon and his kids know it.................been there done that and I will never do it again.
I say, he gets mad and beleives his kids over you because he dosn't want to lose them by not supporting them. You, he can blame you, because you never leave. If he does it again, wait until he storms out. Then pack your things and leave. Don't go forever, im not telling you to leave him. Show him he could lose you, when you come back, he may get mad. If he does, leave again. He's afraid of loosing his kids, he needs to know he could lose you to. It may break your heart, but if he dosn't realize, perhaps, he dosn't deserve you, show him.
I've been in a similar situation, except for I was the kid. And I felt like my stepmom was always believed before me. I think what you should do depends a lot on details you didn't include. For example, if the kids are teenagers, they may never obey you, regardless of what your husband does. My stepmom still has problems with my teenage younger sister, and she has been living with us for over 10 years (I don't "obey" my parents anymore since I am 20 and don't live at home). If the children are younger, it is more likely that they would listen to you if you had your husbands support. <br />
Also, if the kids mother is still in their life they just might not need a third parent (I think this was my families problem). My stepmom just had to realize that we already had two parents telling us what to do and so parenting just wasn't her role. <br />
It sounds like you need to talk to your husband. Does he think of you as their parent (if he doesn't that might explain his actions) and if he does is he willing to support you? You also might want to talk about the trust between you. If he believes them does that mean he thinks you are lying to him? I agree with others though that you shouldn't blame the kids in these conversations, because it does sound like that would just make him defensive.
he'd probably feels guilty if he didnt chose them over u...maybe ur kids like sort of brainwashed him not to believe u...and he's stuck in between....maybe you guys need to just sit down and talk or put a hidden camera somewhere so that you have visual proof.....good luck with everything hope it helps
The problem HAS to be karmic... but having said that, what can you do about it? Apart from finding someone who can unravel the karma so you can understand it and defuse it?<br />
The first thought that comes to me is to have a calm but serious talk to your husband alone, telling him what you see is going on and asking for his cooperation; but it seems that ANYTHING you say provokes a row. In that case (bar what I mentioned in my first paragraph), really all you can do is to recognise that you got a bummer of a husband and leave, otherwise constant rows and opposition will degrade your health.<br />
However, be aware that karma will repeat until it is resolved; so another relationship - should you enter one - could turn out similarly. Unless, of course, the action of removing yourself from the situation, with all its costs and consequences, is enough to balance the karma "by experiencing it". Sorry for the "bad news"! <br />
See how you feel about it in your heart - you have the final decision regarding your future... And best wishes with it.
After my separation with x-partner, we went for 2 years of extreme distrust. I was the one at home looking after the kids and the antagonistic attitude brought me down. Kids can fall into a pattern when they sense encouragement. My advice is find out what it is he doesn't trust you with, keep on loving the kids (they don't understand how serious it is), let him talk, express himself and in a couple of years, he'll drop the war and start supporting your parental advice. The situation is however, urgent, for the kids mainly. I advise you to go to marital guidance (have a third party bridge your conversations on the issue).
Well the next time this happens >> Leave the house before he does with the kids! And if asked where to? Then just say, none of your business atm!<br />
Sometimes diamond has to cut a diamond and you cant ignore the fact!
The kids are probably acting out because they miss their mother, your husband's probably feels guilty about this and is over-compensating. Kids very quickly learn how to capitalise on a situation and are master- manipulators at the best of times. It seems they have cast you in the role of 'wicked stepmother' and this is not fair on you, even if it is understandable. The only way i can think of to try and resolve the situation is to have a family meeting; all sit around a table and take turns to talk about what's griping you all - don't talk over one another and give the kids chance to vent their feelings first, or they won't listen to your side. Hopefully, with all the cards on the table, you may be able to see a solution, as this can't go on - it's no good for you. Also, you could suggest that maybe he's punishing you for his exes past misdemeanors, and again, this is not fair on you, though if he was really hurt by her, again it is understandable. Explain to him how much it hurts when he always takes the kid's sides without hearing your side & how the kids are playing you off against one another, Try to keep the accusation out of your voice, as he will just go on the defensive otherwise. Try and find some positives about the kids, so as to not sound so critical - for example, you could say, 'i really appreciate it when you......and it really helps me when you...... but, could you please try a bit harder with.....Get what i mean? It's gonna be hard, and i don't envy you, but this is definitely fixable - that is, if you still want to fix it. you have been treated quite badly, after all. I would give the kids a little leeway, considering their age and absent mother, but by the same token, i wouldn't let them, or your husband treat you like a doormat. Only you can decide how and whether to proceed at this point, but whatever you do, i wish you the best of luck.
Leave them and move on with your life. You do not deserve to be treated like this with disrespect. Let your husband take care of the young children by himself so he realizes how much work it is and how much they should appreciate you. You are too good to put up with this and I am sure there is a wonderful man out there that would treat you so much better and with the respect you deserve.<br />
All the best,<br />