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Why does my husband look at **** but doesn't want me to know and won't enjoy it with me. I have caught it on his cell phone. He tells me I don't need **** I have you. **** I like **** and he knows it. But I don't look at it in front of him. I just don't get his reasoning.
allwoman allwoman 36-40, F 17 Answers Jul 10, 2009

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I disagree with the whole "it's a guy thing, or it's normal"...<br />
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Yes, a lot of guys (and girls) do look at it...<br />
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Many start with curiosity, but it ends up being an addiction....and it can be very harmful to relationships, and to one's self....<br />
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It's been proven, through many studies, that the more someone looks at it, the more graphic their need becomes...soon, the mild stuff they start out with, isn't quite enough to do it for them, any longer...so, the search continues...<br />
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Once it becomes an addiction, it's very hard to break....it takes counseling...it's just like drugs, or alcohol, as far as how it can affect the brain....<br />
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He probably is in some "fantasy land"....and has fears of intimacy with real women, therefore, he imagines these images "wanting" him....so, he gets satisfied, without having to go through all the work required, to maintain a healthy, functional relationship with a real woman.<br />
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He needs help....and you need to draw the line.

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All guys look at **** in one way or another just like all guys ********** wether they admit it or not. Some husbands aren't shy to share it with their wives only if they know their wives are understanding. Some wives think it's disrespectful to them and this sometimes breaks up marriages. Truth is, it's a good thing because it will increase intimacy with you weather you know it or not. Men just liked to be aroused by watching beautiful woman having sex this in turn makes them more horny to have good sex with their wives. Doesn't mean they are going to go off and cheat on you, it's normal part of being a man.

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My husband watches **** three or 4 times a week and he looks up naked pictures of women. At one time he had over 75 pictures on his PlayStation. weve been married for almost 8 years and he has always watched ****. it has gotten worse. i have talked to him about it over the years and he said he doesn't need **** he would stop. However i would wakeup in the middle of the night and he was watching it and ************. So i chose to ignore it and cry every night. We haven't had sex in months and we dont kiss anymore. I say you should communicate with him on how you feel, if that doesn't work, get counseling because **** is a very bad addiction it will only get worse. When someone does this they are being selfish, they only care about themselves. If it continues i would leave him, this is what i am thinking about doing, because we deserve better than this.

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Try to have sec with him

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I have the same problem, I tell him it bothers me when he thinks of other women when he masturbates, I find disrespectful to our relationship. And the fact he keeps lying to me about it hurts even more, Then I feel he is cheating. I wish he didn't ********** at all, but I've come to terms that he won't stop even if I tell him it breaks my heart that he has to do that. It's not like I don't make myself available to him. <br />
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Everytime he denies it I always find something. <br />
I'm sick of the lying and then getting the lecture of trust.<br />
I'm ready to call it quits on my 3 year relationship. Because of this is just something I can't get over. <br />
Some men just don't understand. <br />
It hurts like hell.

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In my case it is not really the **** I enjoy...it is the escape. It is somewhat about sex, but more-so about just getting "lost" in something.

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I have to agree with 1NewWorld on this. It is definitely an escape and release of stress. Women will never understand this about men. I was once told that women naturally get a release through menstruation. Men do not have that natural release. Not sure if this is true but was told to me by a doctor.
I just enjoy the fantasy of it all. Knowing that two people are together and enjoying the act is gratifying for me. I also like to watch two random people on the screen having sex. It is a high for me that is tough to explain.
Of course my wife hates the idea of me watching it. She also doesn't enjoy sex so that's a problem.

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Just so you know: menstruation is not a release, it's a pain in the ***, literally!

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Some men just enjoy it and maybe he doesn't want to hurt your feelings so that's why he denies it or hides it... <br />
have you told him that you wouldn't mind looking at it with him? <br />
Men, most men, think about sex every 30 seconds I think.... :D <br />
well, maybe not 30 seconds but a lot of times during the day. He might have a high sex drive or a high need to just oogle and look.<br />
I would tell him it bothers you that he is hiding it. <br />
Talk about it and see if you can't come up with a solution that you are both are happy with.<br />
:)

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watch what hes watching then replicate it in the bedroom

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well... part of it might be some form of curiosity and boredom... maybe he's trying to find something new. try exciting and surprising him. do something romantic, try something edgy. figure out what he's watching, lets say bondage, and try to replicate that for him. even if it's a one time thing, it may be enough to show him you're comfortable with it. and once he tries it, he may even find he enjoys watching it with you, as aposed to without you. just remember to communicate, you don't want something like this to grow into a huge problem.

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hmmm... the few times my wife and I have watched it together we didn't really watch for very long before it occurred to both of us we both preferred participation to observation! I do have a '**** collection' and my wife is well aware of it as I've never 'hidden' it from her. In fact, when we bought our house she was helping me pack it up for moving and asked if she could go through it to see what my 'tastes' were. Never really bothered me, and she knows she is welcome to borrow any of it if she wants to, but I guess the same isn't true for your husband. Could be his 'taste' is highly voyeuristic and your presence takes that aspect of it away for him?<br />
Otherwise, DGoddess might have the perfect solution. Setup a camcorder, create a trail of your clothing through the house leading to the bedroom, and be waiting for him dressed in something sexy... who knows maybe that will really turn him on... it would me if my wife did it!

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Sounds to me that your husband is exactly like my ex-husband. Turned out my ex was having an affair with a friend of ours.Guess what? I divorced him :)

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Great question I wondered the same thing...so I asked and he told me that he didn't feel comfortable looking at other women while I was there...So we..rather he came up with the solution to make our own with each other and that was a great idea! =D

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Well I think things like that are best done alone...but I guess that's just my reasoning. You should talk to him about it, see why he doesn't want you to know.

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