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Before we got married we had a 3sum.. Husband loved it I felt gulity... recently he started talking about it again, and so we had a 3sum with a guy we found online... It was ok wasn't the best but it was ok..my husband was crazy horny and has wanted sex every day... now every day he brings up wanting to watch me with other men and even wants me to talk about it with him. Detail information on what i want to do and feel... We have great sex but it seems like he needs to have the fantasy going on in his mind to really get off... I can't complain about him wanting me to experience other men, but i just want to understand why this turn him on? Why would he want to share me ? Why isn't he jealous? I want to understand his mind set.... I know he loves me he tells me all the time. He says I'm not cheating because it's something we are doing together I can see that sorta... But I just want to know why he is os turned on by it... He calls the shots, he is in charge of the whole thing.
isabellaR1970 isabellaR1970 36-40, F 23 Answers Jul 13, 2010

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men are visual creatures. THey like watching women having sex. If it's THEIR woman, they are watching it is even better. Maybe he just wants to see you bring pleasure to someone else. Or he wants to watch someone else bring pleasure to you. It's all pretty sexy to me.

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this makes sense too.... He is always bragging about our sex life and my oral abilities so maybe he just wants to do more than brag he wants to show it off and know at the end of the night that guy goes home and he gets me too himself... thank you...

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I have looked at your responses and you changed gears. It is something that is appealing now. And also willing to go for so make it for you.

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Everybody has something in particular that gets them more sexually aroused than does anything else. And, it's different for everybody. For your husband, it's watching another man have sex with you. <br />
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I think that your husband isn't jealous because he feels that your relationship is secure.

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There are various reasons for men wanting to see their wives getting it on with other men. For some men they think their wife is the most beautiful and sexy woman in the world so they want to show you off knowing that no matter what your heart still belongs to him. For others we just love to see our wives getting off in ways that we alone cannot manage. We think that four hands, two tongues and two ***** will get you higher than you have ever been. Some men use it to protect themselves from jealousy. It's better to be there and see it with our own eyes than, to leave it to our imagination. Often what we don't know hurts us worse than reality. Maybe at some point a previous love of his cheated on him and hurt him very much. Maybe he had a friend who's wife cheated on him and everybody knew it but him and, your husband doesn't want to be that guy. Some men just like to degrade their women. Some men don't feel adaquate to satisfy their wives though its a burning desire to see them satisfied even to the point of sharing her with another man to do it. In just about all cases it's an ex<x>pression of his love and trust.<br />
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Here is an article ba<x>sed upon a study which I think answers some of these questions about why men get so turned on watching their wives having sex with other men.<br />
Now all may apply to your husband. Please read it and then, get back to us on which ones you think apply.<br />
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http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/women-who-stray/201007/why-would-you-do-want-watch-your-wife-another-man

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My wife was never more aroused than when another man and I were engaged in foreplay with her. Alternating kissing one and then the other. Both of her legs being stroked at the same time. Both boobs being caressed at the same time. One stroking and/or fingering her while the other stroked he ****, but I believe the real kicker was having both nipples sucked at the same time. She became more aroused than I could ever do alone. Our guest was always invited to go first and I dearly loved having sloppy second with her as the other man watched

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When a person chooses to ********** while looking at or thinking about something, they sexually imprint on that. They can become dependent on it. A fantasy has more power to arouse if it is shocking or taboo as this certainly is. It has the voyeurism element also, loving to "watch." Clearly he has been ************ with this idea, maybe looking at **** with this theme. <br />
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There are plenty of good reasons for you not to want to play this game, including STDs. If you don't want it, you'll have to tell him that you want a clean break with it, and he'll need to stop fantasizing about it. He may need some therapy if he has trouble stopping. He needs to rediscover the beauty and passion of just you and him that he's lost sight of with this fetish.

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This is one of the most common fetishes men have. It ranges from wanting to give her an erotic experience they can both share to almost a a core need. The men with the core need are called cuckolds. I googled "cuckold and hotwife". It was very interesting to me. I read an interesting article on the fetish. In cuckolds, the fetish, like most fetishes, is hard wired. I can get very technical, but a cuckolds brain rewards him with dopamine when his wife is unfaithful. This is a very tuff concept for women. Their husband wants them to do the very thing, that would cause a divorce from a man without the fetish.<br />
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Interestingly, the more a hot wife explores, the closer and more connected a cuckold feels to her.. exactly the opposite of what she thinks should happen. So, typically, it can take a cuck hubby years to convince his wife to play this game.<br />
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Most hot wives, are not comfortable with their role at first.. they are doing it for their hubby because the love him so much. They need to understand, they are in control of the game, they have been given a get out of get out of jail free card and are not sure how or if they can really use it.<br />
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There was a survey taken a couple of years ago with women who do this for their husbands. 74% said that since they started doing this for their husbands, their relationship and marariage is better. They started doing it for their husbands, now they do it for them and themselves.

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The reason you have so many questions is he has not been completely honest about this particular fantasy. He may not truly know himself. You have every right to feel this way. So I will give you possibilities that are usually associated with it. 1. It's a coping mechanism for an affair. Most people can't get over it so if the chooses to make it work an alternate reality or perseption to actual events is needed. 2. Yes men are visual but women are to once the all the right things come first. You know what I am talking about. What most men don't understand is that the stronger, longer, and bonding trust becomes the "wild" outgoing women they had sex with in the begining is even more erotic than in the begining. But just like the fantasy a women has of the stranger,co-worker,or 3 sum a women hides it in fear of rejection, ridicule, etc. not all men are not oblivious to the very real desires of a women. But sometimes your secret is a hidden driving force to him. It's stupid I know but if you were to change tactics you should be able to keep an exciting sex life and it never be about reaching out of your relationship of just you two. If that's what you want. He knows you have had at least the occasional guy that just does it for you. So instead of worrying about the things you do and indulge the fantasy. Be honest about your thoughts and desires for that "other guy" with the understanding that I am opening myself up and will be willing time to time to try this fantasy. 3rd possibility is his true ability to seperate this activity for exactly what it is. Women can already do this but women also know its like playing with fire also since emotions are so closely tied when it comes to sex. I understand and have had this fantasy time to time myself. It is truly all about your pleasure and his. It seems like a weird way to show trust and love but its true. Now I don't want to cross over to reality with my wife but would love to role play now and then. I have done it with my girlfriend of 8 years before i got married and it was absolutely amazing and fun for both. And it created a bond that women dream,read and want. But was honest with herself and was open with a every women's sexuality. It only happened a couple of times never planned and was spontaneous. All the right things came together.

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For some reason even i dont know y like to do that. it turns me on suprisingly to imagine ma girl with other man. i dont know if its a mental disorder or something and i feel very shamefull to even discus about this to anybody. i know its not correct but it turns me on y do i do that.. m not sure.. can anybody give me a reasonable explaination.. please

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I subscribe to the theory that this is a male primal instinct. If a male sees a female being mated he has an urge to compete. It’s very primal; ***** production goes up as well as the sex drive.<br />
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Just as a thought, if you are getting kind of bored with the whole thing, you could try indulging his fantasy and being extra enthusiastic with another man and kind of bored with your husband, in bed. <br />
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If you don’t want to sleep with another man, you could use an extra large toy so your husband doesn’t fit the same as normal and just say you did. Just be sure to be very relaxed and somewhat disinterested in your lovemaking with him. If it’s the competition thing, it could get him extra competitive or he might just back off for fear of losing you.<br />
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In the end I can’t imagine any man wanting to watch his woman having multiple “O”s with another man only to be followed up with little or no physical response to his efforts. Once or twice of that and is fantasies are likely to replaced by fear and guilt.<br />
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On the other hand if you want to have a good time, I hope you do. Just be very careful, both physically and emotionally.

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Some men perceive women as all powerful creatures, who determine the when and who and where of sex. <br />
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By watching you with other men, he's feeling that power. He's interjecting himself into the situation, imbueing himself with a false command of what happens. Afterward, he feels even more helpless, so he wants you to do it again.

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What do you mean when you say "helpless" ?

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Is he a gemini?

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How about this-Its not uncommon for men to put the love of their lives, keeper of his secrets, mother of his children on a pedestal. To see the woman we have elevated to such a lofty position(in our hearts, and mind)engage in such slutty behavior is a tremendous turn-on. Its the contrast between the angelic wife and mother, and the *** hungry harlot. There's a part of us that cannot believe that the wanton woman before us is the same woman we vowed to love until death.....and it is hot, hot, hot. I hope that you find some way to enjoy what you're doing, because it appears your husband, certainly, does....and the odds are that he will now change from what he likes sexually. Be safe, but have fun.

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Hi there. My Boyfriend is the same exact way. I'll start by saying our sex is amamzing, the best ever (with the exception of this strange fantasy he has) He loves it, talks about it in bed all the time. I think he needs it for extra arrousal. I really don't like it, I fell terribly guilty and kinda grossed out... We have done it twice. I obviously have to "fake it" because I don't love this stranger (whom my BF has found on Internet by the way) I don't even know the guy. I worry about disease and well, I HAVE to have many drinks before I could possibly do it. Then I am being filmed the whole time. Geeesh, I can't stand watching the vid. When he sends it to me. I feel bad. I only do it to please him. That's why I am here, to see if others do this very strange act. So glad to hear some of you think it's okay. <br />
Unlike the other poster here, mine does like to slap my face, and wants me to slap him, scratch his back bad enough to leave a mark, also lightly choke him and vice versa. Then I am called his "*****" but only in bed. I don't get it and<br />
Sometimes I feel almost sick over this strangeness. I am<br />
Wondering too if possibly he may be bi-sexual. He's been hinting about getting in on the action, orally. Hmmm. I always thought guys were more interested in seeing women w/ women. I've offered that, or another couple even so that we can "swap". He doesn't seem nearly as interested in that idea and always leads back to wanting to "watch", and film, me. <br />
Could he be bi??

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This is what I have noticed by reading questions and responses. I am a people person so psychological actions has always fascinated me. But have you noticed ones with fantasy that have not turned into reality just get even more involved. I understand the wife sharing fantasy and why it is. But I think that come reality you would find the fantasy ideas would not come into play. Remember a fantasy has no boundaries for its not real. Reality on the other hands is and real time things going on would suddenly change their desires to do things. A good test is after your husband or boyfriend ********** see if he is still intense over the ideas. I bet not . I don't think it means their Bi. For the focus is not the other mans penis or ***** as much as where it has been or is. Trust me as a man if we could shrink down and spend the day in there we would. Also men don't put sex and emotion together in that way when it comes to extreme acts. It is emotional but not in the way women look at it.

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Why does one get aroused? That is a big question. Whe are not all the same. What is arousing for one, isn't for the other......... So there just is no answer to that questions of yours.....<br />
The only one who can help you with this particular one, is your husband, and probably he cannot answer it either.<br />
Good luck girl<br />
XxX<br />
Akwagrll

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He probably enjoys the taboo feeling, he may also enjoys vizualizing you as a s-lut. Does he likes to humiliate you or call you names?

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no he never humiliates me or calls me names... mostly just says "my sexy Wife",, Or he will ask the other guy " you think my wife is hot, don't you?" He is always a gentleman about it... How ever he does love for me to dress up in short tight skirts and low cut tops...

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If you don't like it, just **** him off.

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Why analyse it? You can guess and you can wonder. Perhaps he is a closet homosexual and can only do it with other men thru you? Perhaps anything. <br />
If you trust him and it is not hurting you, then go with it. Induldge your man and please him.

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I as a man have had the same fantasy and it is highly arousing for some men for many reasons and does not have much to do with covering up anything , putting you on a pedestal, needing to cover up guilt or planning something or pleasing you or your fulfilment. <br />
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It is highly unlikely to mean your husband is gay or commonly bi, although it known that there is a small part of all of our sexuality male or female that makes us bi. I for example could do blow job with another man and my female partner but have no inkling to kiss or do any other physical act with a man.<br />
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It has to be seen in a more basic light in that it rather about his sexual fulfilment no matter how perverse. Sexual fantasies are exactly that, one of the most common female fantasies is rape, this is one of, if not the most strange sexual fantasies and yet somehow it is more easily understood. <br />
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The truth about cuckolding is that more often than not it will fail on several premises, either guilt jealousy and respect will become unbalanced or more often, as can be the case the woman will devalue her husband, become emotionally attached to one of the bulls along the way and run off. <br />
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Women want their men to be a man and the role play of a cuck undermines the very thing which a woman finds attractive. The relationship is doomed, is not openly viable and best suited to older couples where the man has become sexually dysfunctional. Men have a harder time, not being emotional to seeing the pitfalls of this fantasy that they cannot foresee where their beautiful wives end up emotionally. Women need to be stronger and more transparent in advising their men of this.<br />
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Even if you have arousal yourself in a little extra spice do not pursue the cuck fantasy but steer your man on to other appealing 1-2-1 fantasies which will keep you bonded. <br />
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One fantasy all couples should explore is longer foreplay, deeper love and increasing each other's ******* - couples do not go deep enough with each other before jumping to common cheaper fantasies such swinging. <br />
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Tell your man the truth, that there is a good chance he may lose you for good and it will nip it in the bud ..... Most fantasies like rape are best left untouched ... Good luck.

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Actually, he will be jealous. That is another part of it the attraction of this particular fetish.

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Girl! This hit home! Your words sound like the EXACT words out of my mouth!! Oh my god! My husband likes and does the EXACT same thing and your thoughts are the EXACT same as mine!! So.. If nothing else know there are women out there in your sane shoes and you are not alone. :)

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