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33andtired 33andtired 31-35 15 Answers Mar 17, 2012

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Seriously? You need to drop this ****** on his gulliver and let him drip krovvy because he need not hit on other malenky ptitsas when he already has a perfectly good Baboochka

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i hear ya,,im starting to not feel soo great though...i need to get outta this funk im in and start feeling better on my own with no help from him, and i need to except it.

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Poor man is so very insecure. He wants you to have to compete with your friends for his affections, thus making you question your own self worth and desirability.... so you feel "lucky" to be with him and don't leave his sorry a$$. So sad that some men feel the need to act this way.

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well if he wont tell you i will<br />
your pretty...so cute<br />
<br />
muahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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and a big loving ...HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

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As in all behavior of this type, there is something wrong with the relationship. Have you told him how the comments make you feel? Not in an accusing manner, but to truly communicate your feelings so he will be less defensive. Then you need to find a way to fix it.

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yes i told him now for about a year and it doesnt seem to matter. im happy he;s nice to my friends but im not happy he doesnt say it to me. im 10 years younger than him, at home mom and he works ALOT, so he says hes to tired all the time,, which i appreciate but i just am getting to the point of feeling like i live with a roomate. we cant talk without fighting and i know i can say mean things but so can he, if i felt loved and appreciated by him i know i would chill out on some of the things i say,, he lways says hes sorry and hell do better but he never does.he notices when my friends get their hair done,, mine he doesnt,, he tells my friends they look good,, me,,no..hmmm? i dont know, i know im a nice person and my friends always tell me they love me and they love my personality,, but i dnt kow why he cant or doesnt see it.. i love to say nice things about him,, he should feel special and HOT,, to me. and i should feel the same way back. when i tell him hes like u know i think nice things,and i say then why dont u ever tell me,,he says im not like that, im to tired etc...but i say u dont have a problem finding the right words for other people..hmm ?

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I feel badly for you. The absolute worst feeling in a relationship is the lack of appreciation. IMHO, he needs to understand that the issue is serious and that work is no excuse. Being tired doesn't mean that you are excused from expressing your feelings. Suggest then demand counseling. Something is going on with him that needs to be addressed. Best of luck to you.

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thank you. i did suggest counseling and his words were , im not going for someone to tell me how bad i am and what im doing wrong. i said thats not how it would be they would help both of us to fix things, he said hed throw the book at the person and then me and get the f outta there. i feel bad saying all this because he can at times be a really good guy but i dont know anymore.

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If he won't participate in fixing the relationship, you will have to face whether you can live like this for the rest of your life. He will find that divorce will cost him way more than getting off his *** and fixing the problem.

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your right thank you. :) im at that point now...i know im strong and i got 3 awesome kids so whatever happens ill make it work.

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Doesn't the responsibility of "fixing it" lie with the partner in this case, since he seems to be the one with the problem? I'm wondering if his behavior is conscious or unconscious. If it's an unconscious thing, perhaps some honest and open - non-accusatory - communication will change things for the better as you suggest. If it's actually a conscious behavior and he's well aware that this flattery makes his lady deeply uncomfortable and sad, then I suspect he is controlling and manipulative in the extreme. No-one can be "fixed." It's up to him to acknowledge the problem and be willing to change his behavior to improve the relationship. If he fails to recognize the pain that he is causing perhaps he enjoys the illusion of control and if he refuses to address the situation my advice to this lady would be, "Run!" as it will only get worse. Emotional abuse is insidious and very damaging if allowed to continue unchecked.

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If you don't tell him how you feel, then it will never change. Tell him I said he was being ignorant.

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its men like these who drive their wives into having an extramarital affair.They dont appreciate coz they are sadistic ,they dont want you to feel happy and proud.They want you to think that they are too good for you but in reality they suffer from an inferiority complex. thats what is your husband. he doesnt want you to get the idea that you are better than him..so he never appreciates.

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because he knows that modern women resent that kind of paternalist behaviour. he respects you too much.

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??? sorry i dont get it.

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the real question at hand is how do you treat him? how do you feel about your self image? do you just think that maybe he makes comments bout you but you dont notice them? If i was you I would ask him maybe he just thinks you know how he feels about you but really you need to talk to him.

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i am not exaxctly the nicest to him lately by my comments but i still do everyhing i can for him and my family nomatter what. he does to but his commets are real bad,, he was screaming at me outside the other night and at the top of his lungs were getting divorced,, so its just hard and complicated. but then he says the next day i was just mad. im kinda fed up with all the excuses, im the kinda person who loves to make him happy by doing little things as much as i can but it gets exhausting when u never get it back. he even forgot our anniversary..it wouldnt of been bad but he took the day off of work which he never does,, so i went out in the morn brough kids to school then picked up some of his favorite things,, came home and gave them to him and he was like whats this for.. oh my i felt like an a**,, he had no clue and i thought he took the day off because it was our anniversary. .i do try and have tried but its complicated. i respect him 100% but theres so much more. he can be confusing.he can be the nicest guy out in public but not to me when we are home. so im pretty confused. i know hes tired but if we both care enough there needs to be time made for both of us. for the most part we work well together, he works i stay home with the kids and get them to school, etc...and at the ned of the day we pass each other like were roomates. i try to say lay on the couch with me, and things like that but theres always an excuse,, im tired, im to big for the couch, im sick,,etc..so after a while im just sick of trying. then when were out and hes the nicest guy ever , expecially to my friends. which im glad he is but its just different at home. i know life gets in he way but i would like to think when i talk to him about it he would care enough to try. i dont know.

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I'm gonna stick up for him a little. I think it's very easy to fall into the trap of thinking "oh, she knows I find her attractive, why would she want to hear it a million more times?"<br />
I was with a girl just about a year, maybe 18 months and I got comfortable, complacent even, and took her for granted for a while. I realised my mistake and we worked things out at that stage. I never stopped finding her attractive, not by any means, I just stopped actively commenting on it. We lasted 2 years in the end and it was never an issue after we spoke about it.<br />
Try some subtle reminders first, like asking him how you look, and move on to more blatant questions if you get no response. Ask him why he doesn't comment any more. Tell him you feel less attractive and you'd always welcome hearing him tell you you look nice.<br />
Talk it out.<br />
Good luck

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i hear you..but im totally ok with not hearing it a million times but it would be nice to hear it at all. if he can say it to my friends then i know he can say it to me if he wanted to. not all the time but just once in a while. he just works alot so i feel that is a huge thing..i know hes tired and such but theres always time for a little effort to keep your marriage happy if you want it to. im pretty realistic i know he works his butt of so i dont want or expect much but a little wuld make a huge diffference. i appreciate the goodluck :) hopefully well figure it out.

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