Why don't most women share their fantasies?

Because we are far more preverted than any of you guys

Because the way they are wired up means they leave it for guys to find out. Most seem to like the idea of doing it in a graveyard, though.

You aren't married to most women, you are married to one particular woman.

Given your age in your profile, I would say the odds are that she is within a decade of your age, which makes me think of menopause, of the accompanying physiological changes. (I'm not quite there myself but I am in that premenopausal situation, periods not as regular as they used to me, even a hot flash now and then. I am looking forward to no more periods; I am not looking forward to a lot of the other stuff that goes on during the transition. However, I do not know why she does not communicate with you... and I am not a counselor or a therapist.

I seriously do want to suggest that you guys should be in couples therapy. People have no problem taking their car to a repair shop when it isn't running right. Get a toothache, see a dentist. Break a bone, see a doctor. Why don't couples who have problems seek therapy or counseling? I am not talking about twenty years of seeing a shrink once or twice a week.

So --my suggestion -- is that you both need to see your regular doctors and get checkups --what are your states of health -- and she may need to see her ob/gym to get the girl parts checked out. You haven't mention any ED problems but ask your general doctor if you should be seeing a urologist or a cardiologist or whatever.

And, if you are typical people of our age -- hey, I'm not that much younger than you -- you may be slacking on physical activity, exercise, proper diet, etc. -- it can be difficult to get frisky when your main physical activity is changing the TV channel with your remote. Get active. Do things by yourself but also do things together. Take a walk together. Get out of the rut. Loose a few pounds around the middle. Eat better.

And -- get into couples therapy. Maybe see a sex specialist. (That is a doctor who specializes in treating sexual problems) Work with a therapist or counselor who will help you talk with each other. Don't know any counselors, don't know how to pick one? Start with your doctors and when you get your check up with your regular doctors. Don't tell me you are too embarrassed to speak openly. You are asking random Internet people on EP about your intimate problems, surely you could ask a trained medical doctor who, after all, has seen you naked, has cupped your testicles and asked you to cough, and then has lubed up and stuck a finger in you *** to check your prostate -- so surely you could mention your marital problems and ask for some recommendations about therapists or counselors.

Good luck

My partner knows but I don't feel the need to talk about it on the internet :-)

Shhhht....secret story !