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Why I am I so controlling and Jealous?

Last night my husband was moving in the entertainment center from our old place. He was putting everything away and all he had left was the speaker box/ receiver. But I noticed there was a girl outside of the apartment. I didnt want him to look at her so i wouldnt let him go get it. He told me i could go with him or go get it myself. But I was mad already and told him to leave it. He wanted to watch a movie but he could cause of no sound. He got mad. I then hit him about five times a couple in the face. Then I screamed at him and called him all kinds of curse words for about a half hour. This morning he woke up went and got me my favorite soup and sandwich and my favorite starbucks drink. He also picked up a table and chair cause i have really been wanting it. Instead of being thankful, I got really mad at him cause I thought he was feeling guilty. I screamed at him some more this time. Now he doesnt want to help us move anymore.
Posted 4 months ago
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All this because there was a girl outside that you thought your husband might look at? Do you really think he's going to run away with a girl off the street?
You need to get therapy and counsiling for you extreme insecurity before he does leave you for someone else. Your behaviour is definatley not okay. You need help.
Posted 4 months ago

Other 13 Answers to Why I am I so controlling and Jealous?


Posted Jul 5th, 2009 at 7:38AM
On the surface it looks like a self esteem issue.
Secondary - it appears you are suffering from a form chronic anger.

You need to see your primary physician. Any medical issues have to be ruled out first. Is the cause of your discomfort chemical?

Can it be treated with or without midication.

All of the above is not relevant or applicable if you have no desire to change your behavior.
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Posted Jul 7th, 2009 at 12:38AM
One word: fear. You're deeply insecure, and so you try to control the situation with threats and violence. This isn't something that your husband (or anyone else) has caused and, try as he might, it's not something that he can relieve. You are choosing to behave this way and you need to take responsibility for your own actions.

I am serious as a heart-attack about this: you urgently need to seek professional help from a psychologist or anger specialist. This is not something that will go away by itself, and you run a serious danger to others. Get help before you do something drastic that you can't ever take back - like murder. The path that you are currently on only leads in one direction: jail.
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Posted Jul 5th, 2009 at 7:39AM
Have you been hurt before or cheated on before in your past relationships? That's usually the first idea that comes to mind with regards to jealousy. It seems pretty irrational to not even let him out of the house if there is so much as another female in shouting distance. And certainly not grounds for physically attacking someone, I don't care how much bigger than you he may be.
Rated: +2Vote for this!  
Posted Jul 7th, 2009 at 12:38AM
Girl, you need to get some therapy, and some anger management. Striking your husband is a no-no and it's a CRIME! Please don't get pregnant and start a family until you chill out. There are multiple possibilities for the motivation for your behavior, but bottom line, you need to stop hitting your husband and learn how to control your anger.

He wasn't feeling guilty, woman, he was showing he loved you. Call first thing Monday and get yourself some help.
Rated: +2Vote for this!  
Posted Jul 7th, 2009 at 12:38AM
Because you are insecure.
Rated: +2Vote for this!  
Posted Jul 4th, 2009 at 11:26PM
Wow. Has your husband done something to make you feel so insecure? I want to answer you, but first would want to ask that.
Rated: +1Vote for this!  
Posted Jul 4th, 2009 at 11:28PM
Talk about spousal abuse. I feel really sorry for him.
Rated: +1Vote for this!  
Posted Jul 5th, 2009 at 12:38AM
I wouldn't do a darn thing for you...that's for sure....You aren't doing anything but setting up the stage for a divorce....and mark my words...it will come.....
Rated: +1Vote for this!  
Posted Jul 5th, 2009 at 12:41AM
You NEED serious help and MEDICATION !

Otherwise this man will walk out on you
Rated: +1Vote for this!  
Posted Jul 5th, 2009 at 12:44AM
its because your a woman.
Rated: +1Vote for this!  
Posted Jul 5th, 2009 at 1:45AM
If you've been acting like since your relationship with him I wont blame him if he just play his xbox and dont help with the moving and do his responsibility, i would be deleting my answer to your earlier question... Its now clear to me that ITS YOU WHO IS CAUSING HIM HIS ACTIONS LATELY.. you need to evaluate yourself and behaviour.

Too much Jealousy kills.
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Posted Jul 5th, 2009 at 1:12PM
I gotta tell ya... it sounds crazy. BUT I can understand ALMOST why you might feel like that. jealousy and anger are based on fear. You may be scared that he will leave you. stop abusing him, and please, search for profound help. Number one, God will lead you in the right direction and will change your heart, if you allow Him to. Secondly, ask your husband for forgiveness, and for his support in getting help. God bless you. I am glad that you recognize your dysfunction is coming from somewhere.
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Posted Jul 7th, 2009 at 12:46AM
Because you're insecure--and downright abusive.

Get your *** into therapy immediately. It's never okay to hit someone. I'm surprised he puts up with that. Obviously, you realize it's wrong--so quit it. You have no excuse for acting like that. You're an adult, right? Act like one.

There's not much in life you can control other than yourself, lady. So f*cking control yourself. You certainly can't control other people. Let go of the idea that you can. Jealousy is idiotic and will do you no good. Get help and get yourself together before you get worse.
Rated: +1Vote for this!  
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