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Our initial meeting five years ago caused a spark within me and I felt an instant connection, we hooked up every now and then-though I always hoped for more, it never came to fruition, we recently started to hook up again and still, after five years great chemistry. Anyway, he put a stop to it as he felt I was starting to hope for more between us-he was right of course. Thing is, I have told him now, that I love him and that I have for all those years, to which he replied he never will love me and we'll never be together. I have left it at that, all but one message to him to say please don't feel weird about my true feelings and that I hoped we'd still be friends-he has leant on me in the past through some hard times, and I would still be that kind of friend if he'd let me, he hasn't answered that message and I've heard nothing from him since our conversation two weeks ago when he broke it off-he went 'offline' today when I happened to sign in to chat..why would he avoid me like that?
cancerian cancerian 31-35 9 Answers May 30, 2011

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I'm just guessing here... I assume he has a partner and wasn't entirely happy with his relationship and relied on you as a back up for his doubts and frustrations about that. He also probably wanted to boost his ego by knowing that he could attract you, but didn't have the stones to actually make a commitment. He sounds like an emotionally immature individual - and maybe you were his surrogate mother for a time and got fooled into thinking that there could be something else, but don't be fooled again. Move on, move on.

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Honestly, it sounds like you make him uncomfortable, even if in your opinion you aren't being creepy or stalkerish.

For your own sake, it might be best to let go of him and move on.

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You didn't screw up or creep him out. Do you trully believe you deserve love? If you trully do it will happen . I'm sorry your hurting but this guy is still a great friend for being honest and not leading you on. And because of that he will be back. Because he did not burn that bridge of trust he will have another break with whoever he is with and want to have some fun with u but by then you probably wouldn't want him as much hopeful. The pain is strong but you know it will get better.

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Thank you for those words- I hope I explained it all a little better below, tricky situation, hoping he'll get over the shock revelation and one day be at ease with me-he tells me anything usually, be good to get those days back :-) thanks x

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Who knows how a man's mind works? I don't.

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he knows there will be nothing and he doesn't want to give you hope....he has ended it so that you will stop hurting, or he is uncomforable.



It is time to let him go and move on with your life.

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to put simply, to avoid you. your love initially wasn't a honest love where you are wiling to give without nothing to be returned (very normal) and he felt you needed too much from him. Even though you say that you want to be there for him you need to leave it as it is. You have to own your feelings that are very one sided and leave him be. If in luck he values you as a friend he will be back, if not it wasn't a friendship of the long term kind. Find the love you deserve with someone who will give back to you openly and honestly don't wait so long to admit and share your feelings.

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ahh better clarify some stuff here! basically, we have known each other for five years, and I supported him through a painful break up through messaging-never saw him, I as in my own relationship, and thus didn't feel it right to admit feelings, and with him going through a hard time also- I was happy just to be there for him-genuinely, because I care. In time, our own individual relationships ended, I bumped in to him again for the first time in five years, and within two weeks of that meeting he rang me, wanted to see me, made all the moves etc-we seem to be on the same page when it comes to what we wan from life, i.e a family, love the same music, cats-and I thought, as he had said to me thats what he wanted, him being 45 and myself 34, that maybe we were heading somewhere this time, and thats why I revelaed my feelings, but also because he said to me that he felt the sex was starting to mean something to me and it wasn't to him-he was honest, and so was I. I carry no hard feelings towards him, I love him wholeheartedly, I'm just very very sad that it will never happen. I will move on, in time-and do hope we can be friends. Thank you for your replies x

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Coz you are cancer.

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Cuz you are creeping him out. He never saw you in a love kind of way. You screwed up, you should've never waited that long. Should've told him the second you knew for sure. This is just my opinion (a guy)

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