Decent and trustworthy guys aren't nearly as rare as you might think. There are many good guys who also happen to be good looking and sexually appealing as well, but as Trios1977 says, you're just looking in the wrong places.
I can almost guarantee that MOST guys in clubs/bars are not what you're looking for, and whilst there are some decent guys online, MOST guys on dating sites are posing, chatting up as many girls as possible at the same time, and looking for an easy lay.
The truth is that the kind of guy you're looking for simply has better things to do with his time than be in clubs or online dating sites.
I can't tell you where to meet the right guy, but you're wrong if you believe that we're all jerks. And not all of the good guys are taken and no, they're not all kept at home either. You just have to get over the picture pf the "ideal man" you have in your mind and be open to realising that there is such a thing as good guy.
They're not rare, but I do agree that they're hard to find. And that's usually because the person trying to find them is looking in the wrong places.
Believe it or not, good manners, intelligence, honesty and chivalry are still important to many men. And so is the notion of romance and taking the time to get to know someone rather than simply trying to get them into bed.
I think you should give people a chance to reveal who they really are, since most of us walk around with a wall built up around us in the shape of what we think the world expects of us. Give guys a chance and if they let you down, get rid of them and move on.
I always thought I knew what kind of girl I wanted and built my life up to appeal to them. Got the good job, fancy car, nice house, and worked on my body to appeal to the right girl for (as I pictured her). But once I got there and started dated these girls, I found that they were not at all what I was looking for and learnt a valuable lesson about beauty not being linked to what makes someone attractive. At least not for me. Now my ideas have changed and I look for things like honesty, intelligence, and self-respect. Which I KNOW is not rare in a woman, but also difficult to find. It takes a lot of effort on my part.
And the reason I'm telling you all this is because I'm hoping you can understand that a preconceived idea of what you may think of as ideal might change when you allow people a chance to reveal a different kind of beauty within them.
So stay away from posers and people you'd meet in common meet-markets like bars, because if it's not you they go home with, it'll just be someone else. That's how shallow their intentions are. BUT, find a guy who's looking for his "one" and give him a chance. You might just be surprised.
Oh, and PLEASE make a guy wait before you sleep with him. Seriously. It'll reveal so much about his character and his true intentions toward you. If he's not happy to wait, then you'll only be losing a jerk.
Because the world is going to hell in a handcart. Years ago everyone just accepted who they were and got on with life. Now, thanks to the media (Mostly) everyone is told to "Look deep into yourself" and discover who you are. Ugh. Men are told to get more in touch with their "feminine" side and women with their "Masculine" side. Now, nobody know who the bloody hell they are anymore and what their roles are in the "BIG" picture. All these "movements" have done nothing but confuse a society that was already confused to begin with.
it would be a heck of a LOT easier if you didn't laugh and make fun of us all the time, or ignore us so often and moon over the damn ''bad boys'' instead. Ya gets what ya pays for..
Don't listen to "whowasthatmaskedman" - with good guys you don't need to keep them locked inside because they are trustworthy, so you never have to worry about what they are doing outside of the house. Oh, and they are not as rare as you think, you are just looking in the wrong places.
There is a lot of money to be made right now in telling men and women that men are utterly helpless in the grip of their natural instincts. "Experts" are all over TV, plugging their books about how men are biologically incapable of fidelity, regardless of their morality, religious beliefs, abilities to be loyal to families of origin, sports teams, male buddies.
in other words, explaining away bad male behavior as a natural impulse that men from any walk of life find themselves completely incapable of resisting is big, big bucks right now.
When women stop taking courses in how to deal with men, and start asking the question, What the hell is the matter with men? things will change.
Do you feel that it is easier to find a woman who is like this? For the most part, what you see in men has been created by women. Mothers tell their sons not to be sissies and fight back or big boys don't cry. Guys have had their hearts broken by women who quickly jump to someone else who has more to offer (a better provider). If women treated males as they wanted to be treated, you would see much fewer of these problems you complain about. Just look at what you expect in a man. Are you truly seeking a quality equal partner, or are you seeking a provider? Women will often say that they want equality, but that is rarely the case. Can you honestly say that you expect no more of a partner than you bring to the relationship?
Look at your role in the relationship. If you offer all you seek but don't see what you are seeking, then it is time to continue your search elsewhere. Don't expect people to change, if you have maintained consistency over time and they don't show any motivation to change (other than lip service).
Very interesting approach Kristin59. Do you believe that this approach gets you what you want? " I think caring1 dont know a damn thing about raising a man!!! You couldnt be further from the truth! Further more its because of your generation of women guys are like that!!"
First off, if you met my son, you wouldn't say that. Everyone who knows him is very impressed with him. He is caring, considerate, respectful, intelligent, creative, well-respected in his field and loved by all. I never said that the way boys are raised is ideal. I said that it has contributed to the problem. And I never said that my generation of women was any better than any other. I've seen the same patterns in all generations, including the present one. Does that mean that all mothers raise their sons this way? No.... but it is very common, and because it is very common, women assume that this must be the right way. I admit that there are some great mothers out there, some great women out there, but you would have a hard time convincing me that the majority are great, as I've had to deal with the results of an awful lot of dysfunctional relationships.
Whether you realize it or not, how women interact with men has a great deal to do with how men treat women. Just look at your criticism of me, without knowing anything about me. I can pretty much guaranty that I have significantly more training and experience in this area than you do. Do you believe that your approach encourages men to respect or be considerate of women?
By the way, Kristin59, thank you for giving a good example of what I am talking about. I'm not saying that men are any better; I'm just saying that we will accomplish more by focusing on our own behavior and expectations.
I think caring1 dont know a damn thing about raising a man!!! You couldnt be further from the truth! Further more its because of your generation of women guys are like that!!
cuz they get walked all over by some girl and it causes them to reflect on themselves and change
Yes but they are all taken
Because in most cases they are snapped up early and kept at home by wives and girlfriends.