It's quicker and easier to blame yourself. I know that feeling all to well. You try and justify it, especially if you care about the person. It's much easier to say to yourself, ok, I won't ever do (something) again. Therefore they won't snap. You end up a shell of your former self. You're not alone. Stay strong x

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thank you very much !

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Its easy to hate yourself for allowing that to happen. It makes you feel like you<br />
let yourself down. Truth is the abuser has issues that are beyond your control.<br />
When they stop abusing you, they will go on to do it to someone else. They can not<br />
empathize, they always blame others for their actions and behavior, hence the reason<br />
they continue. Victim blaming is common in society, till other guys stand up and tell men like this that its wrong, and that there is no excuse for it. They continue. They say see what you made me do shift blaming. Bottom line, verbal or physical abuse is not okay, intimidation, threats is all abuse, a way to gain control over their victim. How they see it. There is no love in abuse. You have done the right thing you are not there. You are not at fault, its their way of manipulating and controlling you that is making you feel this way. Be strong, say i deserve better. I am better. Keep on saying it, your self esteem has taken a blow, you will feel better about you. Time heals all wounds.

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thank you so much your words are very encouraging :)

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Usually the abuser is in a position of power above the abused and most people are wired not to go against the powers above them.

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so because he said everything was my fault thats why i still cant blame him?

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Well...I don't know because it's alot easier to blame someone else. Especially in this case because it makes sense to blame them. <br />
It's like, why would i blame myself for another person beating me up or something...?

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It feels like blaming him would almost be wrong because he made me feel so wrong all the time i guess so it would have to be my fault

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Because then you have to face the fact that bad things happen to good people all the time.

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Yeah i guess its like no matter how good you are to certain people if they are not good they will still treat you bad!

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Some situations can be avioded in the future and some are just chance.

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Because it is normal to blame yourself even though it is not your fault. I think all of us survivors have been through that. In time you will see the abuse was not your fault but you will have to heal over it somewhat before you get to that place.<br />
<br />
I am here for you if you want to to heal the abuse. Feel free to contact me.

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Thank you so much I really appreciate it! Thank you for reminding me that im not alone :)

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You are not alone in this abuse. There are lots of us here that have been through it. And I am here for you. You can and will heal over what happened to you.

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because you blame your inaction for being so young

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whats my inaction haha?!

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I guess when you getting abused maybe you didn't tell anyone I dunno what is your inaction haha!?

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i dont know what an inaction is :p

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but thank you:)

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I guess you don't know what a dictionary is either

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2 More Responses

It is easier to accept that we are at fault, because then maybe we can figure out what to do to keep ourselves safe in the future. If it is someone else's fault then we have to face our vulnerability in this world. (((hugs)))

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that does make sense its pretty scary! hugs to you too!

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