Resolved Question

Despite the pedestrian rantings of some in response to this question (you know who you are), there are several reasons that most men find it such a turn on.

1. You value and trust your wife and wish for her to have many and varied experiences, including sexually. You have a strong enough relationship that you know that you can be supportive of her achieving pleasure from someone other than you and still go home together and deliriously in love at the end of the night.

2. It validates your own status. If you have a wife that other men desire, and if you control or maintain a fiction of control around who gets to have her, you are the ubermensch.

3. From a physiological standpoint, seeing your wife with another man triggers a stress response in your brain (felt most often as jealousy). This stress response creates a cascade of adrenalin and neurotransmitters, the result can be quite pleasant.

4. There are some types of psychological trauma that can lead a man to feel he is worthless and undeserving. Some men seek a cuckold lifestyle in order to repeat and reinforce these themes within themselves.

5. You have devalued your partner to the point that allowing her to be used in a sexual manner by someone else provides you satisfaction toward some kind of revenge or domination fantasy.

6. You and/or your partner have become bored or are in the midst of a very stressful time. You think that if you could just add some "spice", everything will be great.

Based on our experiences and the people we know "in the lifestyle", most people fall into one or more of these categories.

I don't pass judgment on any of these reasons, there are some that we avoid, but they are all equally valid to the ones that have them.