Possibly cause your heart and soul ended up wandering towards that lover in the first place because they fulfilled what was missing in your marriage. I don't know the details, but under the right circumstances, it's possible along the way your heart and soul finished checked out of the marriage and left with the lover, and now there is nothing left emotionally for your spouse while the physical you is left trying to save the marriage, and it's just too late, cause your heart and soul can't forget the fulfillment your lover provided at the time.
I could just be talking out of my @$$ here....
I love your reply. It hits the spot exactly. You are not talking out of your whatever but how it is for me anyway.
been there, done that -- and it hurts believe me -- your lover is a comfort to you because it makes you feel like someone actually cares about you , and saving a marriage is work especially if it has been bad for a long time and the original feelings that you had for your spouse have been gone for years ... saving a marriage is really one of the hardest things in the world to do
I know first hand i was first married at to an abusive man had a baby boy baby died then I had a baby girl could no longer take it divorced the abusive man. h ewouls abuse alcohol and drugs. months later fo i wAS und the man of my dreams with the ouse of my dreams took me and my daughter under his wing he was 24 he would drink but it did not bother me because at least he was he is not abusive to me. Five years later which is today I realize that we have sex maybe 3 times a week im 28 he is 41. he over drinks to the point where sometimes I would sleep naked jst waiting for him in our bedroom with candles on he ignored me for years and I was now fed up. Also I found out he does cocaine in which I would join occasionaly just to understand him. it was to the point he would avoid coming to bed because he thought I wanted sex, and I just needed to be held. I was totally attracted to a guy at work my age. I separated my hubby and had sex over times in one MONTH !!!! amazing he filled my all affection, gentlemen, kissed me loved me all is great. I am now getting a divorce and i just found out Im pregnant this guy is head over heels for me great guy but I have a guard about not falling in love i also dont want to brake my ex hubbys heart. i am not in love with my ex hubby but i feel I do need him in my life as a freind. Im soo confused on what to do should i abort should I have a baby and see if this great guy awaits my heart to open up to him HELP!!!!!
Tough choice ; it's like wading over a stream by stepping on rocks. You have faith in the rock you are standing on, but the rock ahead might just be a turtle.
All of life is a risk and every choice has another alternative that you will have to abandon. The important thing is to keep moving, decide and move on, and know that that the path you did NOT chose will always haunt you, but it will not steal your joy on the path you are on.
You will never forget your love, they will always be with you, but believe that that part is the best gift they could have ever provided
Cos they are obviously meeting needs that arent being met in your marriage. Affection, sex, companionship ect are possibles
That's a very hard question to answer.
A question that cant be answered by anyone.....
I am in the same boat...The world is dead for me...