As dynamic and creative as human beings can be, we tend to hate and/or fear change - especially when it's something big. We want to feel comfortable and secure, which, ironically, can be in a most uncomfortable or insecure situation! <br />
I worked in the family violence court until 2009 in North Texas, and I saw it happen again and again... The impossible challenge that comes with the victim of these crimes having to choose between a life of uncertainty without their abuser, or a life of predictable - albeit, often times horrific, "security" of the familiar. We want to be surrounded by what is familiar. <br />
Many people repeat their childhood situations in their adult relationships for this very reason. Letting someone go, no matter how unhealthy the situation may be, is perhaps one of the hardest things one will ever do. Sadly, most people never will. <br />
Best of luck to you, I cannot say what is "right" or "wrong" for you, but I sincerely hope that you find your answers that you seek.

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They seem to have a hold on your heart...and so used of that someone being in your life that you cannot imagine yourself without them.

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cuz love is hard sometimes...<br />
love is confusing....<br />
love isn't easy to just "get over"<br />
the heart is a powerful thing... <br />
if someone is hurting you time and time again... and you know you need to let this person go for your own betterment... then maybe you should go talk to someone.. get a support system going for yourself. There is strength in numbers!!<br />
Hugs to you!

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You are so right, that is exactly how I feel...it isn't easy to stop loving him...

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and you may always hold a special spot in your heart for him.. If this is a workable relationship.. then maybe you two could talk about what is troubling you or you could seek counseling. If not, then work on letting him go so you can move forward and into a healthy relationship one where you are not constantly getting hurt. :)

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you love them but you need to have more love for yourself,one day you'll get sick of it and leave i did after 8 yrs i finally got sick of it,and sooooo glad i did

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I agree w/ SheHadPotential....I believe that we seek to subconsciously seek relationships that always give us the opportunity to resolve some deep rooted issue. We are always striving for growth, but I think we have no idea that we are doing this, via our chosen mates. Of course we go to the 'familiar', even if it's not good for us....we still haven't learned what we NEED to, unfortunately for some of us by putting ourselves in harms way, just to finally 'get it' and truly in our soul 'get it'. We know logically, just haven't healed/learned in our spirit/beliefs/soul. Good luck to you....just watch for where you can do just 1 thing different....this is when you will start to feel/know change :)

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Be strong, you will prosper...

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It is like the saying,,,"I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all". The fear of the unknown can be quite disabling for some of us.<br />
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The key is to realize that you always have YOU. If YOU would be a happier, kinder person if you didn't have to deal with the agony of being constantly heartbroken...it's time to find a way to move on. It's hard, but possible.<br />
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It IS impossible for there to be nothing better out there for you. Believe it, live it and it will be true.

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The saddest part is, he thinks he does no wrong...

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Although that makes it more difficult for you to make him aware and acknowledge the pain he causes you...It's a catch 22-It most likely is a motivating factor causing you to stay with him...after all-he's not downright mean and doing it on purpose,right? That is a common excuse we use to justify our actions(or lack there of). If you have communicated your feelings to him and expressed the pain you are in-what else can you do?
Don't wait for him to see the light...he won't, and it has nothing to do with you.

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After all the lies and excuses, he still blames me and no he hasn't seen the light and you are right, he never will...

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I don't know you, but feel very confident in saying...You will find what you are looking for, somewhere else and soon realize how much time you wasted! You clearly deserve more! Good luck and message me anytime!

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1 More Response

Probably because you have time invested in them and feelings. And if you do let go you have no guarantee that you will find someone else who thinks your special. I have the same problem and I go back and forth so don't feel alone. Sometimes I think I would be better off going it alone and then other times I know I would miss him. This is a very sad situation to be in and I understand how it feels. In the end you have to find out what is best for you, do you want to spend the next five years being hurt over and over again? Sometimes its better to be alone than be in a disastrous relationship.

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He is the 1st person I fell in love with since my husband, I met him online when my marriage was over, he is not a stranger, someone I used to know, we have been going back and forth for 3 years now and keep getting back together, and every time we do, the feelings get stronger and when we stop talking, it gets harder to let go...

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