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goodseemore goodseemore 41-45, F 11 Answers Jan 1, 2012

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hmmm..... ok, im gonna be serious for 2 minutes:<br />
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Honestly? Life is like a filtering system. You're really not supposed to keep all those people you randomly meet. You meet them. Have a good time. And then things change. You take what you've learned and move on. The ones that are left at the end? Those are the ones that are supposed to be there.

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i guess i've been filtered out by everyone. not sure why.

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I agree with Ediez. On a superficial level, when we first meet, most of us get along fine. Then, when we start talking religion or politics, we start seeing walls instead of bridges and begin filtering people out. If we pass that test and start sharing more personal stuff, that filtering process kicks in again. We find walls or bridges. At all levels of relationship we cross bridges or we scale walls... or we let the relationship fizzle out. Same if the relationship becomes intimate. Friends-for-life and soulmates are essentially people with whom we find perfect compatibility. Bridges and scalable walls.

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It's hard... awful... to lose a friend we weren't expecting to lose. Especially when it's for no apparent reason like when we grow apart from one another.

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I ask myself the same question all the time. Times have changed and I notice that the majority of people are more suspicious than they ever were about making new friends. I also notice that 'friends' tend to lose touch when their need for one another expires. Very, very sad. They come to you when you are of use to them I find, and that HURTS :(

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Olivias,
I find the same to be true much of the time. A '20 something' I know tells me that our society has changed, we are moving away from a need for and sense of community, becoming more isolating, more selfish.
I don't think that's true of everyone, too broad and sweeping of a statement, but I do think people are drawn to people who have something to offer that they need and once they have acquired that need they tend to move on.
It hurts, I've shed many tears as a result, but I'm realizing that through each of those friendships I've learned something about myself and I got something valuable from each of those people.

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From experience, the only relationships that last are people you befriended during childhood. Everyone else comes and goes.

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Honestly, I don't know. I seem to attract fake and toxic people.

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human relations are difficult. It's like a physics or chemistry experiment that in order to work, there are a number of variables that should be met.I myself am recovering from a lost friend who was a sister to me.Three years have passed and I have found that it still affects my life and my trust in people. I don't know how to make it go. I just think we should turn to those who listen without judging. I hope you find your way my friend. Take care.

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you must understand that the world has and is changing constantly and with it, so do peoples needs, this has become the world of me-ism and for many people unless it's about me then it doesn't mean anything. right now so many people are just trying to survive, so they are scared and people seem to mean less and less and you are overloaded with fears and thoughts of money and how to obtain it, and paying bills, we are being distracted from true friendship, plus we now put people in social boxes and don't take time to really know anyone.

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I've had my fair share of fair weather friends. What makes it worse is I'm a very loyal friend . So when you bend over backwards for somebody time and time again. Then they won't do something monor for you I get very hurt. <br />
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For the longest time I just had a no friends policy. Now I just don't get to emotionally attached. I have tons of friends now but I rarely volunteer to do things I wait until asked. <br />
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When you do have a need its the ones that offer to help without your asking that are your true friends. I broke my shoulder and had surgery. Shortly after wards I had to move. I have a 5lb lifting restriction, and my shoulder is paralyzed. <br />
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I got the new place a week before I had to be out of the old place and spent the week moving boxes and anything small I could. Moving day came up and 8 of my friends showed up to help me. They each only had to move 2 or 3 things. I picked the uhaul up at noon and returned it at 3. <br />
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The most important thing to remember is I didn't ask anybody to help. They showed up because they knew I needed the help. These are my true friends. Try to invite them over once a month or so for diner.

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Because meeting stranger and become friend is one thing, but to keep that friendship is lifetime work, :)

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how do you make love last?

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Because of all the people you meet, only a few will be real close friends but they will stick with you always :)

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