I contend that this country has in general tried to change the spirit of men. Men are told to get in touch with their feminine side, nothing is being said about the masculine side of man. Men are condemned for behaving as men (protecting their property and honor with force, manning up, use of muscle power along with brain power, taking life threating chances, fighting, taking pride in trade and labor jobs and etc.)
I contend it is not in man's nature to turn the other cheek or act like a woman.
It is BS that a 26 year old male is not mature, h@ll they are confused about their role in our society. I was paying my own way in life at 16 and by 19 was fighting a nasty war in Viet Nam. At 26 I had a college degree, a job, a house, a wife, and two children. No one gave me anything, I earned everything on my own without selling drugs, stealing, and etc.
Could be lots of reasons.
Here are a couple.
It could be you and he have different definitions of what it is to be a man and a father.
He could be scared and unprepared.
Sometimes you need to be direct with them, tell them exactly what you need in the absolutely simplest terms possible, straightforward, upfront and keep your emotions out of it. Go over one or two points at a time and then leave it be for a while, let them get used to the idea you are presenting, don't overwhelm them with a million things all at once, no one wants to be forced to change. Make him feel like it was his idea if you can. Guys do not always pick up on hints and subtleties like us women do, and some guys shut down once you become "too" emotional.
plus he is 26 that like 17 in boy years... haha, they do come around eventually, some take longer then others.
You forgot to subtract 7 years... he's really 19...maybe younger. Men are hardly ever as mature as their physical age. They're great, don't get me wrong; they just don't mature quickly.
26 is actually not very old, and the responsibilities of parenthood are difficult for everyone.
Why don't you go around and have four different people whom you respect write down what it is to be a man and a father....the absolute minimum requirements? Look over the results.
They should all have some basic things in common.
Then ask yourself who set you up as judge and jury over the quality of this man's manhood, and fatherhood?
Sounds like a Man child. See link here for the several definitions of one.........
Itis different depending on the individual. Some men are very mature and willing and ready to be a good husband and father much younger than 26. Others never mature and never get ready to be any kind of father or husband.
Of course the same can be said for a lot of women. There are a whole lot of women who never get ready to get married or have kids. What is really unforunate is when a man or woman who isn't ready and or doesn't want children ends up having a child they can't handle and do not want and the child is deprived of having the good parents they need.
There are so many people out there who would be wonderful parents and are unable to have children while so many immature people end up with kids they don't want
As others have said here it's not a prority and likely his idea of being a man doesn't agree with yours.
You didn't illustrate how he became a father but I'm guessing it wasn't planned. Few actually realize that sexual activity there is a chance however small that it can result in a life altering experience/responsibility.
If he can't be a man to you there isn't much you can do as 'manning up' requires him to realize his responsibility for the 30 minutes of pleasure does come with a pricetag of a lifetime to properly and co operatively support and raise a child in this world. He could be scared, he's likely immature, and you have to drag his *** into court so he can legally be accountable for part of the 'deed'.
His inadequate parental role models.
I have a 28 year old man who is having a hard time growing up and being a man and father.
well they never ere thought about parenting there is girls having kids at 14 whats expected of them there kids he is an adult
Because 26 is still a baby. Men mature by the age of forty. If he's 26 he's still extremely young.
it is only at this point in life that his brain is finally gelling, formed around his experiences. if his experiences have not included knowledge of and respect for manliness of the old style meaning, and an awareness of what it is to be a father, also in that meaning somehow lost along the way, he will NOT gel with them in his self, the person he is becoming.
it's time for some last minute lessons
It's unnatural. Biology wants men to impregnate as many women as possible and move on. Monogamy and family life go against human nature.
MMMM you might feel as they say scared and unprepared, but its ok, its a huge difference in your life, why dont you try to adjust yourself......... your life has completely change so its ok, to feel stressed.