I can hear the song now, "It's a thin line between love and hate". The "scorned" have suffered a loss, and perhaps are grieving that loss. There are stages and anger is one of them. As long as they are not stalking you, harassing you, bad mouthing you to others, a stage along the road to acceptance. (Kubler-Ross, 5 stages of grief model, denial, anger, bargaining,depression acceptance).

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Oh no. The stalking and harassment has begun. 16 angry vm's alone yesterday. The last time I saw him was Nov. 2010...your guess is as good as mine.

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Sorry to hear that. People can get stuck at stages, his own personal history may explain that. Home life etc. His sense of self worth. Maybe more invested in you than just the relationship itself, so your "rejection" of him may have left him having to face things about himself he would rather not, hence blame you, if that makes sense to you sorry can't explain it better just now.

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Perfect sense.

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Because often they do feel "scorned", or rejected, in spite of your best efforts. Hatred is a face-saving emotion, anger rather than sadness or grief.

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A strong feeling of rejection, remember this isn't your average "sorry im just not that into you" rejection its that "im not that into you ANYMORE" so it creates a paradox in "the scorned"'s brain; they are anable to understand what they did wrong therfore it must still be wrong with them in which case they have no hope of ever finding someone to care about them and are doomed to eternity without you. Try giving 'em a good reason they can't argue with (not a cruel one) and they should be a lot more accepting of your decision.

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The only good reason was the truth, but he doesn't want to accept it. I was thinking of telling him what he wants to hear (lie)...that would give him the reason to hate me the way he so desperately wants to.

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It's their way of getting closure, of somehow justifying the pain and hurt they feel. Just say, "I know, and I'm sorry for you" Eventually, they will get tired of hating someone that isn't responding to it.

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