Because he wants to believe that he can still do the things he used to do when he was younger, consequently, the idea of being an invalid is very disheartening.
Im thinking he maybe in shock about it.
And shouting and screaming about it is just gonna make him burry his head in the sand all the more.
Firstly take him to the docs and get them to explain exactly why he needs the op.
And then you have to show him...that after the op its not game over for him.
Get in touch with some amputation support groups,
Have a look on the net for videos there are runners, football pla
swimmers, Put it this way with todays technolagy having a missing body part is`nt a big deal anymore.
Give your Dad some time to come to terms with this. Since he walks a lot, he is probably in fairly good condition overall, in spite of the diabetes. He will get therapy and learn how to cope with the changes that will be made to his body. Has he looked into prosthetics? They do a lot with those these days. I know a man who was in a freak accident and lost both feet, he is pretty agile on his prosthetic feet.
He needs to understand both those things:
1. You "don't mind driving him to places he has to go," and that
2. You "have a 18 month old special needs child so ... can't be there 24/7".
I, too, depend on My feet to get around. If I became unable to walk, not even able to stand, then My life would be over, from My point of view.
He needs to understand, there are two choices, for him: He can adjust to the new reality, or he can go crazy, and end his life. Taking it out on others---especially on someone whose wife died!---is not the thing to do. I hope your situation gets less bad, and soon!
He just needs some time to accept the fact that he is going to lose a leg. Put yourself in his place for a minute. If a Dr. told you you were going to lose a leg would you rush right over to the hospital and let them chop your leg off? Just be there for him as much as you can and give him all the support he needs during this difficult time.
he's just gonna have to see on his own. so, until, and when/if, he see's just be there for him along the way, nobody likes a nag.