and I don't know how to handle it or even if I'm capable of doing anything to change it.I could count on one hand the times he had raised his voice when speaking to me until I was about 24.I'm 32 now.He's getting angry all day, it doesn't stop.It's gotten steadily worse.He's angry at himself.I get that part.He's losing it and like he's being patronized. The more he acts this way the more he's probably going to think that because he's just getting so difficult to deal with.I don't know what to do.Please help me.I'm the only one in the family that has to deal with it, and nobody else knows the extent of it.For so long, I thought it was me, that my personality, my whatever especially annoyed him.Now I understand that it's not me at all.Please help.I'm able to tell him that he's turning into an angry old man and his life isn't going to to be fun later.We are able to be somewhat light about it.But it doesn't stop him from losing his temper the next time... at nothing and everything.HELP.
kattekens kattekens 31-35, F 8 Answers Sep 4, 2010

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How old is he? Maybe he's getting stressed. It sounds like most of his anger isn't directed at you personally anyway.

Try to remain calm whatever the provocation. Anger feeds off anger.

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He's 66. I know sometimes it's his eyesight. Sometimes I'll give him something to read, and he gets angry that he can't read it without his glasses. It's just that if he's in an angry mood, then he takes it out on me. Have any suggestions on how to make older men turn into less crotchity guys? I could only find crotchity on urban dictionary, but it's there.

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I am wondering if he had started any new medications in these years? They can have quite an effect on how a person feels and also, does he have an undiagnosed health issue which may be causing this? At any rate, please don't take what he says personally and internalize it. When he yells at you, it is because most likely he feels safe to do so, and he is probably telling you what he is actually feeling about himself? If it gets to you, I'd leave until he can settle down, as you don't need to be a whipping post.

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Is it still just part of his personality that he has always had and its just getting worse or was it a total shift that is continuing and getting worse? When something small that he would normally have brushed off happens does he seem to be very very stressed out about it then goes into yelling or bitching? Has he ever blurted out something that really made no sense? Like maybe something from ages ago when you were a little kid that he had no reason to bring up, something that maybe you did not pay much attention to because he was mad... think about that one, I never noticed it myself until later when my grandmother started doing this, to this day I regret not clicking in that something was wrong before it was too late, I thought it was just her age or something and passed it off as nothing. I do not mean to scare you with this I swear! But if it's anything like what I was saying and you can get him to get checked at a doctors, do it. It might be nothing serious, but there are may things that could be happening that might need to be treated. Alzheimer's is one... but for my grandmother it was a brain tumor.

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You need to talk to him and find out what exactly is eating at him. Its not just age, you can be sure of that.

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I'm sorry that you're going through this. You really need to seek some professional advice. Start with asking your doctor or, maybe, a geriatric specialist.

My parents are both in their mid-70s and I 've noticed that they get much more agitated at things now than they used to. Part of it is just getting Old and having pain all over (hips, back, knees, hands, etc...) They also feel less productive and less useful to society. Plus, they begin to have their friends and loved ones start dying off and it depresses them.

You shouldn't let this go on much longer without some kind of help. Other siblings and family really need to be involved so that you don't shoulder this burden all alone.

If you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to take care of others.

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Thanks for the support. I truly need it.

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It depend on your dad's age..

Erickson said if you're in the final stage of life you either face integrity or despair..

despair if you feel you haven't achieved what you could and are unhappy with the story of your life..

my father's in his sixties and is no doubt facing despair..

sits in the dark with the lights off in our basement until it's time to work..

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That's what I was afraid of. It sucks right now, I just don't know what's bothering him so badly. He's always been the type of guy to get stupidly angry at other people while driving. He wouldn't yell At them or start driving aggressively or with anger, he would just yell "Stupid, blahblah. You did this blah blah. Some people shouldn't be able blah blah blah", etc. I think I should be able to figure it out from this. He's finally let his anger and sadness all get out. Or start to. What a effing mess. I need to get out of this house. The weird thing is that he doesn't want me to leave. Lonely. Angry. Verbally abusive. Sad. Sad. Sad. Argh. I can't just sit here and die with him.

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