Why is my feminist friend disgusted with my need to be submissive to a man?

To me, being a feminist should mean that feminist groups are advocating for all women to be and do what they want. Sadly, most feminists appear to only hold that view if it matches the typical 'chip on the shoulder', 'men are pigs' type attitude.

You should be able to be submissive to whomever you please and your friend should support you because, as a woman, you are CHOOSING what path you want, not being forced into something by societal roles.

This is something that really irritates me, to be honest. I also choose to be submissive and hate having to defend the way I choose to live my life to the very groups that should be defending it for me!! It is very hypocritical.

I dont know. Shes been taught it or she may have had a bad experience. All I can say is be very careful whom you trust when you enter into a BDSM relationship or scene. Very careful.

Don't feel ashamed at all. Your feminist friend needs to understand that you are not at all threatened by being a submissive, as a matter of fact, it is the opposite, this is when you will feel most empowered. You find pleasure in his happiness with what you are contributing to the household and to your relationship. And to be frank - what you are discussing is the next level of feminism, to be OK with the traditional role and still not feel like you lost yourself, rather than looking at traditional roles like a box or worse yet, like a jail.

No many peole like to be submissive while others like to control, but many that are submissive feel happy and content with their role and they feel loved and comfortable.
it has nothing to do with being tortured etc .
but being submissive is ok as long as it wont turn to abuse, as noone has the right to be abused, many feminist woman, like to control and so they see submissive as wrong,
but it is your life and which place you like to be is ok as long as you are happy

You want to submit to your husband. Why? If it is because you feel that is the role society places on married women and you don’t want to break with tradition then your feminist friend was probably just making a point that you might be disappointed after a while, and more importantly not live your life to the full.

If, however, you want to submit to your husband because you enjoy (sexually and/or mentally) being in submission, then follow your heart. I have generally been submissive to most of my girlfriends, and have found it liberating and safe (as well as sexually mind-blowing!!). Good Luck!!

Your feminist friend is a hater, that's why

Just as her life is not for you, your life is not for her...Without subs, where would doms find friends?

I say, Live life and be happy. If being submissive gives you pleasure, then go for it.

The truth is, that if all people are equal, than they have the right to be whatever they want to be. You have the right to want to be submissive just as any other girl has the right to be domineering, or any guy has the right to be submissive as well. It really is all about your personality.

Ask her this: How would she feel if the shoe were on the other foot, and it were the male submitting? If she would be equally disgusted, then she simply has a problem with D/s. If she's fine with that, and simply has a problem with *females* being submissive, then she's a closed-minded feminazi (not the same thing as a feminist) whose opinion I wouldn't consult regarding the weather. As far as the whole subconscious need to be tortured thing goes, that comes from Sigmund Freud's work, hardly one you'd expect a feminist to be citing. Personally, I believe that you only live once, and that you should do whatever makes you happy, regardless of what some "feminist" feels about it. If she bothers you about it, tell her to go suck a ****.

You have the right to express your love how ever you want and if being submissive and constantly showing acts of love to him is how you choose to do it then thats how you should do it. I personaly think who ever you find is going to be a very lucky to have you. I know I would apriciate having someone do all those things for me.

Even as a feminist myself I pretty much think your friend is wrong. To say what you can and cannot do goes completely against what feminism is supposed to be about.

Yes, women have had very strict roles placed on them by society, as sadly have men. The whole point of feminism is that nobody need be shackled to a work station and are free to live their own life!

I understand completely where you're coming from. I love cooking and cleaning for my husband. I do the housewife thing very well, and I like it, but that's not to say that I believe all women should do the same, because as you know, some won't be satisfied with it.

Perhaps what your friend fears is that your submission may lead to you being exploited, but so long as you know that you're in a relationship built around love and respect then that's all that matters.