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Home  >  Friends and Family  >  Resolved Question
kandy444
Resolved Question
Why is my son calling me after one year without any word whatso ever ?
Posted 1 month ago
MotherCC
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
Hi Kandy... I am a Mom and probably the same age range as you with a 22 year old son who also has decided that he wants no contact..... Bet ya he needs something... They usually only call when they want something and now the thing you have to figure out, in spite of what he tells you, is what the "Real" reason is for his call and what is that he really wants. He might tell you it is just to try to mend the fence or it could be a ploy just to get into your good graces again as he is tired of fending for himself and needs some money. If you son has hurt you once... remember that he is capable of doing it again so protect your heart. Don't listen to these idiots on here that tell you a mother needs to be there endlessly for their ADULT children. This is BS... obviously these folks do not have any ADULT children who have stabbed them in the back. Only another mother who has been through it understands how truely horrible it is to go through. Tough Love is in order. Remember it is a two way street and if he cannot treat his own mother as good as he would treat even a stranger then why should you be obligated to bend over backwards for him??? How many years did you do everything you could for him???
Best of Luck with him and stay strong.... CC
Posted 1 month ago
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RobertHedrock
Posted Nov 14th, 2008 at 7:29PM
He's run out of money.
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peterson1964
Posted Nov 14th, 2008 at 4:25PM
People tend to assume that, when a family member calls after an absence, it means that they are down and they need something. Although, this could certainly be true. There is another possibility...

I tend to stop calling my parents when things are going bad in my life. I don this because I have difficulty discussing my problems with them, I don't want to worry them, and I don't like them interfering or trying to "help". Then when things are looking better, I tend to start calling again.

So, you need to consider both possibilities. You know your son better than I do. Is he the type who only comes around when he needs something? Or, is he the type who does not want to worry you with his problems?
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Creamsicle
Posted Nov 15th, 2008 at 10:42AM
Maybe he missed you?

There's no way to know without the details of why he'd stop calling in the first place?
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Duana
Posted Nov 15th, 2008 at 7:24PM
The only person that could even remotely answer that question correctly is your son.

I never keep in touch with friends or relatives- because that is my personality- but I love them dearly. And when I see them I am happy. And sometimes I call them out of the blue and they are happy to hear from me. But who knows why your son? It could be a million different things- but just remember you are the mother and should be happy even if he has some motivation (ie money) or you feel he is using you- a mother is a mother their entire life and you should respond to him as his mother who welcomes hearing from him no matter what the reason.

Let's say there is some extreme terrible reason- ie he is in trouble with the law, or he has given up in life, or just wants to get in touch with you for reasons even he doesn't understand, or wants money from you or something else from you- so what- a mother's love and concern for her children covers any situation in the world.
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godspeedyoukaren
Posted Nov 14th, 2008 at 3:24PM
misses you.
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rachel717
Posted Nov 14th, 2008 at 3:25PM
Only you can really answer this question. Did something to happen a year ago to cause a rift between you? Is he trying to heal the rift?
Maybe he needs your support at this time. Sometimes people reject and then return to the family fold for comfort.
Did you ask him? Do you feel comfortable asking him? You can approach it in a nice way, such as "You know I am so happy to hear from you, what made you decide to call?" If you use a pleasant, caring tone of voice, he may open up and tell you.
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jinda
Posted Nov 14th, 2008 at 3:49PM
roberth..straight to the point as usual...you crack me up

kandy why question his motive just be thankful that he is ok and back in your life...
a child needs to know that their parents are there for them no matter what
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Socklord
Posted Nov 14th, 2008 at 4:25PM
All I know, is when I was living in a different state, I only called infrequently. Pretty much when I remembered to. I'm not real family-oriented if they aren't around.
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mags681
Posted Nov 14th, 2008 at 5:24PM
he got over whatever it was that made him feel he couldn't contact you. give him a second chance evryone deserves that. good luck xx let me know how you get on
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Scully
Posted Nov 14th, 2008 at 6:36PM
He may regret such a long silence. Silences ar hard to break for some.
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brimliner
Posted Nov 14th, 2008 at 9:14PM
Maybe he's just now listening to his phone messages.
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hojex
Posted Nov 15th, 2008 at 12:06AM
he wants to be sure you are finally dead so as to send the already prepared obituary to the press.sons dont call loving mothers once in a year.consider your ways,mum.
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GwennaJane
Posted Nov 16th, 2008 at 12:57PM
How the h*** do you expect anyone to answer a question that is so vague? Do we know your son? no. Do we know your history with your son? no

Maybe he needs you. Maybe you should just be thankful that he called you instead of wondering why. My Aunt's son hasn't contacted her for about ten years now. She would love to hear from him!

I say, just be glad for it!
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