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darkersideoflife darkersideoflife 26-30, F 6 Answers Jul 8 in Dating & Relationships

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I believe that marriages fail because people go into them with to high of expectations. We must remember that a marriage is the coming together of two separate people. Each of those people come with they're own sets of rules, experiences, and ideas. The goal of marriage is to remain yourself, while fusing with another, in order to navigate life. The moment people start to realize that, then marriages will stop failing. Only person in a marriage that you need have expectations for is yourself. Not to mention that people jump into marriage to fast without taking the time to get to know the person they are wanting to make they're partner. Marriage is both work and compromise.

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And what if the husband doesn't want to shoulder any of the monetary responsibilities??? u know my husband didn't even bother to give me a piece of thread in all these 6 months of our wedding but showered his mother with gifts every month... how weird it is !!! i feel hurt when i see such differences... tears of silence rolls out.....

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Have you brought this issue to his attention? Some guys have mom complexes that they don't even know they have. It is his job to help with monetary responsibilities. No if, ands, or buts about it. You guys need to talk... not yell... but talk!

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I had spoken about it indirectly where he said, " when you are working , make your things out for yourself, why should somebody take your responsibility, who's taking mine"..... I WAS IN MY TEARS WHEN I HEARD THAT. Never thought the person i loved fr all these years would turn out to be like this after marriage.. He has given his mother gifts without telling me either. May be he was guilty in his mind. Whatsoever, i discovered it when they were talking about her new set of clothes and other stuffs... He have never given me anything after marriage, though i dont demand but I also have had few wishes but they go unfulfilled..... unnoticed.. and when it comes to me He practically rans out of money..... if we go for dinner even i have to share the 50% of the bill...... this shows how considerate I'm..... and when he goes out with his parents along with me, he bears it all...... thats the difference...... I drowned in the ocean of deep sorrow and frustrations.... No one to know my pains. all goes well with the plastic smile i have on my face.

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You understand only a part and you think it is the full. You understand someone at a certain point in time and you think it's eternally valid. You like the person you see and interact, but you don't know he/she will change. <br />
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Love-or-Arranged, marriages are successful when partners are ready to learn continuously, to love the newer versions of each other and upgrade from time to time, even if they discover something totally contrary to what they thought. And let small things be small things. (The extreme cases of abuse etc is another matter). <br />
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But then, that is the armchair view of a never-married-single, so take it with a pinch of salt. :-)

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Loved your line "You understand only a part and you think it is the full. You understand someone at a certain point in time and you think it's eternally valid." Again a great thought to ponder and rotate the spotlight to myself to see myself in different shades of light.:)

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Marriage is a bungee jump.. So many to push .. But none where you land.. And you are forever tied to the bungee ropes..

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when people get married things are great but then life hits you in the face so while both of you are trying to work on your unity your growing apart..so remember try to make time for just you 2 alone...

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coz our thought process is fundamentally flawed. that way of thinking will only cause more problems

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