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why some people scared of love
charmcaster6177 charmcaster6177 22-25, M 28 Answers May 15, 2012

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Personally, It's never happened for me yet. And when I see all the examples in this world of ppl who claim to be in love/get engaged/married/ all that hooplah, it almost %98 of the time never works out. I'm not saying that they weren't in love at the time that they got married or whatever, but I don't believe it was truly all love, and more just lust. I think ppl get lost in emotions sometimes. I do believe you can love someone whole heartedly/unconditionally, but as far as being in "true love" with someone romantically. Not too sold on it yet. It all really seems like an illusion that we try really hard to make seem real.

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Why some people don't believe in love? It's a simple yet complex answer. Everyone knows the uncontrollable, unpredictable and incredible power behind love and what It can do. In some cases, love can make you the feel like the happiest person in the world. Waking up next to that person everyday. Texting, the corny tactics, movies, monthly anniversaries, all that good stuff. But, what if it all that suddenly stops. Your feelings change. That happy smile they gave you when they hugged, kissed and presents given. Gone. Your happiness turns to sadness, depression, regret, anger, and pain. That once happy and awesome personality fades away into the abyss and you turn cold, just like the Himalayas. Then your normal behaviors change. Depression takes over you and you don't smile or laugh or show any emotion. The warmth in your eyes go cold. You never seem happy, not even the simple pleasures interest you anymore. You become more distant with friends, and even family and start to think no one likes you or no body cares for you. That beating in your chest just ceases to be felt or heard by you, almost as if it isn't there. You feel a mix of every emotion and don't know how to control it, so you have random outbursts. Cursing the name of the person who broke your heart with anger. All those emotions manifest into the most dreadful thing in the world. Pain. You start to become smarter ad wiser. You start to believe that love is a non-existent emotion that can never be found, so you abandon your hopes of ever falling in love again, so that you can never be hurt more than what you feel now. You feed off that pain because it's what makes you stronger. So what's the simple answer? Why don't some, no, why don't most people believe in love? Because it's a big **** you to the face.

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My experience with love. I have had my heart broken and broke hearts. I've said things I did not mean because I failed to truly know myself. I married young chasing the epitome of love. When we exchanged vows I was not mentally prepared to follow the definition of love. To stick with my partner through thick and thin, richer or poorer, sickness and in health. Those three phrases need to be deeply pondered when thinking about how we love a life partner. I failed at my first marriage. We both made mistakes, mostly me I'll admit. The divorce sucked. Yes, I suffered from slight depression. So I took a few drugs. It lasted about six months. Did the rebound thing. Crazy party girl. A brute in the sack. Hooked up with a younger girl. Legal of course, I do have some scruples. More crazy activities. I start to realize my addiction for sex might be out of control. Na, I'm just having fun. From there I manage to sip from an older bottle of wine, dark and refined. Realizing the age difference was a long term problem, we eventually broke up. If you can't see yourself growing old with that "one" then dip out. Dont string people along. Up to this point I've lived life making poor choices. What we do affects others. Especially that person we say those three magical words to. I let work encompass my life. I forgot the reasons I originally started my "career. A service to others. True love. Compassion is sacrifice. What am I sacrificing? Money is not important. Being a kind and loving person is what's important. I can't help anyone unless I'm honest with myself. It took a failed marriage and bouncing around woman to woman to figure this out. I'm an idiot, I know. Honestly is key. Be honest with yourself and others. Naturally this rationalized a friends with benefits situation (s). I hear all dogs goto heaven. I may have been thinking with my penis but at least Mr. Happy was keeping it real. This is when I tell you after 10+ years of playing around I meet the women of my dreams. We see eye to eye on what makes us happy. Our credit scores equally suck, so money is not part of the equation. We understand each other on an emotional level because I embrace my partners faults as she embraces mine. Our sex life is amazing. My definition of amazing ; body parts are trembling and lose of bodily functions may occur. If my wife got sick and she couldn't have coitus I would love her the same, just ********** a lot. If money got tight we will make it work, I'll eat tuna salad until my kidneys take a dump. Yes, I absolutely love the cellulite and varicose veins. Morning breath and eye boogers with a side of flatulence. That's love people. Stop being selfish and greedy. Love thy neighbor. Be kind to those in need. Be faithful to your wife and family. Just be a good person. If we could all understand the true meaning of love we could stop wars. Stop polluting the planet. Tray Von would still be alive. When will we wake up?

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What make you believe that you are in love? I'm not talking about passion. Can you love someone you just met? Probably not. You can be attracted to someone you just met, but that is not love. People usually say there are a lot ingredients to make the love work. But to make them work, what we really need is TIME, there is no love if you don't spend time, doesn't matter how, time thinking about, time spending together, time planning...etc. Can love exist without that TIME invested? If love can't exist without that is because love doesn't exist at all. Every time when we spend TIME, we want a reward, working=money, student=graduation=+money, playing=win etc. When we spend a time with our partner and he reciprocates the same way, we feel reward. Be wise, choice in whom you invest your time.

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:)

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I believe in love. There are different kinds of love; love for a wife, love for a child, and then there is the confusion of "loving" but actually "liking" ob<x>jects. True love conquers all. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always persevere. Love NEVER fails." -1 Corinthians 13:4-8. <br />
If your relationship breaks any of these "rules" then it is not love. However, you can fix your love with someone you believe can work it out. Come together and talk over disputes rather then leave eachother. Well, hope this helps! Good luck!

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Agree...Love NEVER fails.

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I would say either they haven't experienced it, or they have loved and been hurt.

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They havent meet the person that really do love them but just hurt them and cause them pain!

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Because it is an illusion produced by a delusional mental illness.

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I think because the are scared of it or have been hurt or even scared they may never experience it.

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They have been hurt, therefore they are guarded.

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cause they have not experienced it

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they don't have any experience with it, they have been burned before, or they really do believe, but don't want to get their hopes up

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Experience in what? Something you personally feel to be the answer of this question. I don't understand what your thrying to put across. Burned and getting your hopes up, what a joke. One thing to end this "What if they were never hurt in the first place?"

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Because love is just a simulation of drugs in your brain which make you hot for another person...

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i thought love is related to heart

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Actually no, there is a drug produced in your head, it is not by heart, but it makes your heart race when seeing a person. Do not recall what it was named but it all starts in the brain.

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ok

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because no one will give them a chance!

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Because it just pathitcie?

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Love is real. I'm not talking about "kissy kissy, I want to bone you love" either. Love, as in, the most powerful force in the Universe. That ever present and benevolent force that all matter responds positively to. The force that keeps our souls from freezing during the winters of despair. I was taught in school that it's just a chemical reaction in my brain and that my heart has nothing to do with it. I'm also aware that public schools are designed to indoctrinate the minds of children to mold them into obedient workers that bend to the will of authority without question. Perhaps it is this indoctrination where peoples' belief in love is squandered. What better way to control a glorious species like humans than to have them forget the high order of which they came?

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Maybe they just don't love you. Dating does not come with guarantees

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I personally don't believe in it is because it's only an human emotion filled with flaws. We dolled it up as a great savior forgetting that Love is not an absolution. I can't believe in something that does not reach to all of creation. As much as I am a good example..single and 38 and lots of terrible experiences with love...there are people dying and children suffering without even knowing what it is to have a significant person to care for them. Many have risked there very soul just for a chance of it and many have lost it due to the rarity of love. Love is a risk and many lose more then they win. People are becoming more single everyday...it's hard for me to believe in something that does not come to all.

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my parents had a messed up marriage, they're still together, but my father had a drinking problem and a nasty temper when drunk, I grew up in a mix of fear and hatred towards my father and I also never could trust or even respect men. I'm 25 and have never kissed anyone, and don't think I ever will. Men don't give a **** about others, and are incapable of truly caring for another being; women should be single mothers if they want kids. The only think I hated about my mother all my life was that she never divorced my father, and that to me was proof that she didn't really love me.

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In my case I was used for a very long time by someone who pretended to care about me. He actually told me once that he loved me. I fell hard for him, but he only wanted me for sex. He played me for a long time. He didn't feel responsible for hurting me and went as far as telling me that he didn't owe me anything. He tossed me out and hasn't looked back for almost a year.This past year has been very hard. I cry a lot and sometimes the pain makes me angry at the world. I told him some of my deepest and darkest secrets. I trusted him in a way that I cannot trust anyone now. I believe in unconditional love; like the love of your own child. However when a man says he loves me I think he is full of lies. I am not going to let a man near me for a while. It is all about his "fantasies" and getting his **** sucked. I am worth more than that to myself. I would rather be lonely.

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