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Am I the only one who find this sad? I date someone, he is a friend to my child until marriage. To me, a boyfriend until marriage. You never know which direction the relationship is going to go. Why confuse the child?
CreoleItalianwoman CreoleItalianwoman 31-35, F 12 Answers Dec 14, 2012 in Parenting & Family

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that is so wrong to lie to the child.

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I agree wholeheartedly... a divorce/separation is difficult enough for a child....let alone the selfishness of a parent basically saying....dear this is #@$%....they will now be replacing mommy......WHAT!!!!??????....Your view on that is wonderful and the way it should be. I would advise however if things get serious that you and the gentleman set ground rules for discipline will be dealt with and that when he becomes a step parent that respect will be demanded and that he will have rights to give them jobs and such. But to tell a child from week 4 that this is the new parent is just stupid!!!

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Yes, I agree

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im glad we agree on something you are right

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I just think its very sad.

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I agree. That's totally wrong and confusing to kids. Single parents should be very cautious about introducing people they're dating to their kids. I think they should wait until they are pretty serious before having them meet their kids at all. <br />
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Odds are that relationships don't last .. and kids can get attached to these people. A very bad idea to do that to them.

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Exactly

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Yeah, that is totally not cool to do to a child.

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Its sad

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Totally. It sucks. They're already confused enough with the divorce and now they're basically part of the relationship and they've formed a relationship with their new "parent" just to have them ripped away like their first parent.

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That's really jumping the gun. It puts pressure on the person they're dating, and it sets the child up for disappointment. I also don't understand people who introduce every one night stand or "fling" to their children, either. I know people who describe their single mothers (and fathers, too) as seeming to have had revolving doors on their bedrooms.

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That is wrong, parents should always be honest with their<br />
child, if not they will pay for it later. It is not a biological parent.

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"just say that (mommy/daddy) is seeing someone and i still loves you, but i want to see if we can find you a new (mommy/daddy) ok baby?" ^.^ and mabey take them with you on a couple of dates, not all of them thou, just to see if they get along with your kid

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That is a good idea.

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completely ..... No one can take the place of their father, i would never expose my son to this it would have caused him so much pain the divorce was between me and his father, saying something like that you using your child to get back at your ex children should be protected from a divorce i always speak well of my ex and i always remind him that it had nothing to do with him no one can replace either parent that is sad and messed up

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It is very sad. You'd be surprised what people do to get back at their ex's and surely enough, the children are caught right in the middle of it. That is a big rule not to let parents problems become a child's problem and never put a child in the middle of adult problems.

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i cannot agree with you more, i protected my son from this and he wasnt exposed to me having a different relationship, this would have also confused him. But both my ex and i shared the same opinion about this and my son never had to face this

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I don't know anyone who has done this.

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I know many a few people who have. Mostly because they have issues in their previous relationship.

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