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Dolta Dolta 31-35, F 9 Answers Jul 29, 2012

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Nope, where there was a fire Ashes remain....

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Short and straight to the point thank you

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:)

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They want your friendship because they feel guilty.<br />
They remain in control.

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Yeah like they feeling pity for you

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Unless you want the torture of seeing them with someone else. So be it.

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This depends on the emotional awareness, maturity, strength and intelligence of the parties involved. Generally you need to "break-up" and spend time apart if you don't like each others company anymore. You should reflect on the unfulfilled expectations of the relationship that lead to your break-up and also what expectations brought you into the relationship. <br />
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An intimate, emotional and physical relationship with a partner should carry all the expectations of your closest lifelong friends. Generally new crushes that quickly become intimate relationships have no ba<x>se in friendship just in lust. If you are unsure if you can be friends you may not ever have wanted to become and intimate partner to this person. And learning to separate or suppress the sexual intimate impulses and signals with a prospect-able individual until you can be more sure of similar interests and strength of character. <br />
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If your young though all that may be in common is your sexual urges and need of intimacy then you shouldn't get thinking "love" and just have fun. Way too often kids think they are adults and believe they need a "marriage-like" relationship when really you need to meet people, figure out your expectations, make lifelong connections, work for your passion in life, and then when those are more clear its easier to find someone you know you can be an intimate lifelong partner with. <br />
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As far as staying friends if you can't find anything to be friendly to each other over then no. Follow the golden rule if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all. Don't go out of your way to find things wrong with one another either you may think its fun to be mean but when you negatively express your expectations it stresses yourself and builds bad character.<br />
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If you can get over the failed expectations of the relationship and you see the person is of benefit to your well-being you may want to put away the games and keep each others acquaintanceship. This person could be an asset to you in the future. Its better to acquire good friends and reputation than enemies and the reputation they promote.<br />
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Above all don't get serious unless you are serious. Your lifelong best friend may one day become your best lover and life partner.

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Sure it is . . . all about managing expectations . . . set your expectation control to the "friend setting" . . . and watch for the warning signal on the dash that indicates "over-heating" . . . . and keep the energy low . . . over a lifetime, a friend is quite an asset, particularly one you had been close to!

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Is it really to manage your expectations when coming to the person you love, ending a relationship is one thing but asking to remain firends? Hhhmmm tough

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Hi Dolta . . . absolutely tough, but worth it . . . if the opportunity to be friends exists . . . it should be considered . . . do recommend replacing the responses to loving innuendos . . .with smiles, asides and recalls . . . rather than acting on the innuendos . . . give it a try!

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No, not possible. They say it to soften the blow. Not advisable either

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Thank you my sentiments exactly

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If either of you still have feelings for the eachother.. then staying friends wont help! because everytime you see that person.. you will fall for them all over again! thats why distance is good for both sides if they broke up.. maybe after a while when they get over eachother... maybe then they can just talk to eachother or become friends but then they might fall in love all over again bringing back the memories.. it wont help staying friends.. but some people can cope, I think.

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I really feel the hard part hey am not soo sure that it works

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I agree its just hard it never seems to work

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I dont think it will work.. because both sides are trying to get over eachother! if they stay friends that means they still talk and meet.. so it wont help! time and distance is the cure. :) ..

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