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lizzybug lizzybug 22-25, F 15 Answers May 26, 2012

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Face it sweet Lady, it's not you, it's him.

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I like the technique of walking around naked, but not making it too obvious what I'm up to. For example, I get out of the shower and she finds out I conveniently "forgot" to bring clean underwear or my robe in the bathroom with me, so I need to walk by naked to go get clean underwear. Within 24-48 hours, depending on work schedules, we're having sexy time. It works like a charm, and they say men are even more visually oriented than women.<br />
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If you try that a few times and it still doesn't work, he's either going through a serious depression, is having hormonal issues like low testosterone, or it's too late to fix the relationship.

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I feel your pain LB. I lived for many, many years in a sexless (once a year) marriage. I would say first off - he needs to have his testosterone levels checked. As I mentioned - I was the one wanting some sex for many, many years. My wife was having some hormonal problems and not really interested. For the last couple years I have been the one not interested. So I can empathize from both sides now. The key to my problem was "a testosterone level of an 80 yo man" according to me doctor. Now with a semi monthly shot...... I feel much better. I think you'd be surprised how many men suffer from low T.<br />
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Secondly..... all this advice about marriage won't last, blah, blah...... is just that..... blah, blah. It's up to you, as it was up to me many years ago to decide if I was going to get a divorce and/or have an affair. I resolved to do neither.. because I knew that I KNEW how to satisfy myself - which I did for years. Yes, it was her problem..... but it wasn't worth breaking up an entire family over, IMO. What a lack of intimacy did for us was to put a strain on our marriage. I heard someone once say.... sex is not the Glue of a marriage...... but it is the Lube. I would agree with that. When couples have a good sex life they tend to be more forgiving and tolerant of each other. A sexless marriage can soon turn into just utter disdain of one's partner. <br />
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I wish you the best....... I know it's painful. It probably isn't personal although I know it's hard to believe that.

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yes, he feels SHAME about something- that's why people dont look you in the eyes- they're ashamed

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tips: make your self over, try front laced wigs, don't dress plain add some color guys like a girl who spices things up, wear sweet perfume , get some shirts that show little <br />
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front cleavage but not to much if your use to wearing jeans all the time try changing up your style a little bit wear a few skirts and dresses buy yourself some colorful chokers that will<br />
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match all your outfits i mine are usually black and the guys and girls seem to love them everywhere i go and wear matching nail polish and toe polish also try adding some color to your hair wear his favorite colors around him he will soon start to notice you.

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this is just my opinion, but I'm not sure if this amount of effort is worth it. I think trying something else would be a better use of time and energy. I, being a man, usually don't notice or care much what women wear. I don't have a better answer on what to do though, so my advice is, if you do try this approach, use caution and don't put too much or your emotional effort into it.

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I know some men don't care but other men do she has to first find out what his type is my dad likes my mom to wear lace wigs of different styles and colors so he will feel like he is dating another person its different strokes for different folks

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you are his wife. it's pretty common for men to lose interest in their wives. even if the wife is gorgeous.

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More than a few issues may be at hand: He's not interested or you only think in your head he is not. Was going to say a mid life crises and a few other's, But I see you are still young. I stick with my first conclusion only.

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You may be right, especially with the "in your head" comment. We don't know what she's tried when she says she's "tried everything." It could be something as simple as the guy is having a really hard time at work or is exhausted lately. Maybe he seems uninterested and it's temporary and nothing to do with her or their relationship.

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Have you posed this question to him? It could be a number of reasons. Without being privy to your situation no one on EP is really qualified to answer that

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Yes i have asked him. he ignores it completely. He is 30. i am 25. he won't even kiss me.

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My best guess is he's seeing someone. Only a guess though

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Like i said i have tried everything . i lost 30lbs. i always have hair and makeup done always dress cute. Does it go back to looks?

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Even more so, looking like he's seeing someone

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That's one possibility. Another possibility is that LD would rather look at **** and his hand is easier than worrying about a partner's pleasure. Or, he's gay. Or he's asexual. Or.... The WHY is not important. You'll probably never find out the truth of the matter of the WHY. The fact of the matter is that he just doesn't want to.... talk, touch, make eye contact, look at his wife, spend time with her, have sex with her...
He divorced you a long time ago, but neglected to serve you notice.

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Yep, this day in age can't rule out the possibility he's switched teams. Still falls under the "seeing someone" category. I know how guys think. There's nothing for it at this point than to leave. Temporarily separate? See where it goes, but if he starts warming up to you again all of a sudden, it can only mean he ended his fling, and another could crop up at anytime again.

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Actually, it's unlikely that he switched teams. Someone is set in their sexual orientation as a small child - even though it's not actively awakened for many years.
He may not have been honest. He may have tried or thought if he just got married, he would become straight. It didn't work, and trying to be straight can cause other people to be hurt. Just realizing that he's gay wouldn't mean there's a specific person of "interest".
Asexuality is another sexual orientation. In that case, there is no one else. It's just an overall disinterest.
The WHY is unimportant. The important question is what the OP is going to do about it.
I heartily do not recommend living in one for decades! I lived in one for 14 years - until my career was gone, my self-esteem was gone, my sanity was gone, and my money was gone - and he divorced me. He wanted something other than a person to share his life and love with when he married me. I don't want ANYBODY to go down that road - not even someone I disliked.

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