bvibe22 bvibe22 46-50, F 13 Answers Jan 24, 2010

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silence can feel such a hurtful communication style - it's communicating something but you're left to make up your own answers as to what they're trying to communicate, which could be a million and one things. most of the time the answer you come up with doesn't match what they were 'not saying'!

ignoring you/silence can be used for -

control - by limiting your choice & not allowing discussion. that person maintains their position of being 'right' or whatever they're feeling;

fear - of your reaction if they speak about whatever the issue is. they have no desire to debate the issue- this comes back to control

- a lack of respect for your feelings. they may actually respect your feelings just that their other feelings of fear, lack of trust, respect etc, out-rank them in their mind.

- it may be that they're ready to end the friendship as no longer see common ground and have no idea how to say that.

if it's a disagreement or someone has told false tales or any of those styled scenarios, there's not much you can do while you have no opportunity to explain your side.

all you can do is keep the lines of communication open if you wish and pop a note to say that you will leave the next communication up to them and you are there for them if and when they are ready to speak. share that you're feeling concerned, frustrated, confused, whatever but without barking at them about it.

if you re-establish your friendship, your side of it is to give them space to feel safe raising differing view points and their side of it is to acknowledge your feelings for choosing this action. you can agree on how you handle similar situations in future without ending up on the same path.

got to always keep in mind something genuinely beyond their control may have happened and they're not able to communicate for now. if you feel their safety is in question, you could try contacting other acquaintances but that can get messy if it's purely a disagreement.

best wishes, hope your friend chooses to make contact and fill you in.

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with all that sounds like your badgering them

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Maybe they died

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i'd let it go for a bit. your friend knows that you are trying to contact him or her. there's a reason why he/she isn't responding. even though you probably miss him or her, it's better for you if you can distract yourself with other things and other people. that person will contact you when he/she is ready. the ball is in your friend's court. forcing things won't help and it might even damage your friendship beyond repair.

i know it can be hard, but take care and focus on other things, sweetie.


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looks like he/she is fed up with you.....give them some space....they will come back if they are true friends.

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just make sure that person is ok,if so leave,that person alone there probally going threw lifes isues at the moment

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You are suffocating them?

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I don't know... you could ask her why she isn't replying....

or you could just stop sending endless texts, emails and phone calls and give her some space... maybe she is overwhelmed.

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