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I ask because my close friend just found out her fiancé is actually gay. I, and several of our other friends thought he was but she actually found out he is gay and he admitted to it. I am wondering why he would date her, and ask her to marry him if he knew he was gay?
shay1126 shay1126 46-50, F 11 Answers May 22 in LGBT

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If you read my original post you'll see I truly understand your question. I married a wonderful man whom I love dearly,we have 4 great kids,I have the Lord and a beautiful granddaughter, and have been married nearly 25years,and as a lesbian who has plenty opportunities to be with plenty of beautiful,intelligent,successful women I can tell you the older I get th he harder it gets to stay "straight". :(

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He could be Bi or just wanting a home life without any sex.

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There is a chance that he received pressure from family members to "straighten up" so they pushed him into being with a woman. <br />
Or maybe they didn't tell him anything but he knew their beliefs quite well to know that they wouldn't take him being gay so well. So perhaps he thought that maybe by being with a woman could turn him straight.<br />
There's so many reasons why this could happen but these seem to be pretty common ones.

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I can only speak from m y own personal experiences, being that I knew something was different about me early and just couldn't face it, I wanted to be normal and just because I'm gay doesn't mean I can't still truly love and adore a man. Yes, hindsight, I now know it was extremely self I should of me marrying at 20 and not being able to love him 100percent the "normal" way, but I do love him. I also think even nowadays, homosexuals,especially men still face enormous scrutiny and sometimes discuss with their sexuality. I can't relate to that, because I am a very feminine lesbian, so really I have it easy, men and women, gay,straight,big are very accepting of me. I would assume he loves her dearly,but possibly like myself just wants to try to be "normal" and have and make a family, and he may figure hopefully he loves her enough to make it work or possibly he's just using her so as to not be labeled g at or lose his family or status,etc. I hope it's not the latter but those may be a couple reasons.

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Is he religious? He might fear the religious stigma that comes with being gay and believes that entering a relationship with a female might "cure" him, or in the very least, prevent others from persecuting him.<br />
There's also a sexual orientation where the person is a certain sexual orientation, but falls in love with someone outside that group without full changing their orientation because of it. It's different from bisexuality in the way that the person falls in love with that one person but isn't attracted to others like that person. For instance, your friend's fiance could have truly fallen in love with your female friend, but still wouldn't be attracted to other women.

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I suppose that could be the case, he seems to be genuine in his feelings for her. He still wants to marry her and says that he is attracted to her and she is the first woman he has ever been attracted to. She has asked for my advice and I am not sure what to tell her because I think she would always be thinking he is seeing men on the side. I feel for him too because it had to take a lot of courage to admit that to her.

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Maybe he wants to experience having a family. Does he still have living parents? Maybe he wants to please them by giving them grand kids?

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Yes his parents are still alive, he is 37, but apparently the parents knew he was gay since he was a teen.

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Weird. Maybe some kind of early onset midlife crisis. Glad your friend found out about it before he made a fool of her.

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Come to think about it. It's actually pretty dumb, lol. Maybe gay people are just a$$holes to the other s3x

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She maybe his cover for his family. That really sucks for her too

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I thought it may be a cover for his family, but as it turns out...THEY KNEW he was gay. Apparently everyone knew, but her.

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Well maybe he just likes her? I hope he does for her sake

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Oh wow,see that changes everything. His family knows? Yah,he definitely should have told her. Gosh now all I can think is th hat he truly does love her and wanted her to fall for him first without his sexuality standing prominently in the back of her mind, because maybe he truly did find a woman he thinks he could live normally for and with and possibly his homosexual life and experiences have been bad or unfulfilling.

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You know it's really hard to say what's going on in someone else's mine.
Have a great day

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