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dreammergirl dreammergirl 41-45, F 10 Answers Mar 15, 2012

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I think that some men speak a different language than we do. Sometimes "I want to be with you" means, "I want you around, but it doesn't mean I'm going to pay attention to you when you are." Sometimes "I love you" can mean the same thing- "I need you and want you around...but it doesn't mean I'm going to be concerned about what you need or show an interest in you personally." <br />
Been there. Done that! Being in that kind of relationship is way too uncomfortable and way too much work. Ignoring you or being unappreciative always leads to the same question: "WHY??" Half the time you'll find yourself wondering what's wrong with you, and the rest of the time you'll spend wondering what's wrong with him. Not good. Either way you look at it, it's just WRONG.

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thank you for that perspective. i will be thinking about that.

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I have no idea why, but please don't feel stupid! It's perfectly normal to believe another's words, right? Guys have issues, more than most women, I think. They say WE are tough to figure out!

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thank you!! maybe if he has to chase me..... ????? im not good a game playing. i always lose.

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goodness me. Sorry but clearly some people are never too old to start behaving like an ******* by the look of it.. Not cool. Go find someone worth you.

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hes 52. im 45. wow : / so far i have not said anything more to him.

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yes, thanks. i will =)

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Drop him. It sounds like he is not ready to be available to you. Therefore he is not worthy of your time.

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thank you. i am not contacting him. im afraid if he calls ill be all happy to hear from him.

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Good for you!! Let him work his *** off for a while. " Silence speaks volumes"...I love that saying...

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it is hard because i just want to say What Is Up With You??? but instead i post on confessions and ask questions so as to not say a word to him. lol

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I was young and dumb, and believed someone four years older than me loved me. I was talked into trying to have sex. It didn't go well, and I pushed him off and started crying. So, we didn't really get full penetration. But, he always told me he loved me and I was the girl he wanted to marry. Then he started talking with my friends, and my "so-called" friends who I told about the experience, stabbed me in the back because they wanted him. He went off to college, and cooled off towards me and most attention stopped. We had one fight about him just not being honest and telling me directly he was dating other girls and wanted me to be over him. So we didn't talk for three months. Then he found out I got a boyfriend...and wallah..he wants to be friends again, but lashed out. He agreed to meet to talk about the past, but blew the meeting off opting to just call me and say it slipped his mind. When he called (avoiding the face to face), he didn't seem like he cared at all. He went to so much trouble and said I was his best friend, and when I told him I wouldn't hang out with him while I had a boyfriend...he just got cold. He asked if I had slept with my boyfriend...and I said no (I'm not doing THAT again until I'm a lot older and sure of the relationship)...but still it wasn't any of his business. Then I heard when he showed up at my school, that he told someone he was avoiding the (F word) out of me. So, I wrote him off...and as much as I loved him and had hoped for a future, told myself. Let it go, he's over you and you're being young and stupid. Then I got a text from him after a month, saying "we need to talk"...I want your respect, you mean a lot to mean...that's all I have to say, but I don't mean it in an intimate way, yadda yadda. Soon as I seemed like I wasn't going to give him crap anymore, he asked to "hang out". Of course I made up an excuse not to, because I was pretty sure he was playing games. FOund out, he got "into" a relationship with someone on the same day he texted me. So, I did text him back and kindly explained that although I may be wrong, it seemed he was flirting, I know he has a girlfriend and would appreciate him understanding I have feelings for him and need him to leave me alone. He then went off on me for four pages of texting...telling me he never liked me that much, I'm not that pretty, all my friends think I'm a ****, I'm weird, my lifestyle is weird (I assume he is saying that since I'm NOT a **** and never slept with anyone other then the one attempt with him...and I don't party..drugs, drinking, etc). I didn't say anything to him when he did that. I waited and told him a couple of days later, thanks for letting me know how he really felt, I loved him, forgave him, and we could be done. He tried to text again and I ignored him, but he conveniently did a big make out session with a girls who's NOT his girlfriend when he saw me at the bowling alley. Ignoring him, bu

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He's manipulating you. I was married to a person like that....I love you....you are so dumb...why don't you get a real job...women shouldn't work it ruins marriages ( after I got a job )...why are you so stuck up around my friends... I'm always suffering and nobody does anything to help. Any of that sound familiar?<br />
When I met my current husband I was't so sure I wanted a long term commitment, I told him right up front I was to old to play games, like teens and young co-eds. What you see is what you get, if you don't like what I am then there's the door because i am what I am and I won't change for any man again. If you want to have fun together that's ok , we can be friends with benefits, and not meddle in each others past or present activities. If you want to be closer that's fine too, but what's in our pasts is gone and it's a fresh start with our relationship, as 2 new people who want to be together. We feel in love with each other warts and all. Sometimes he teases me by pushing old buttons to see what happens, sometime I play along, and other times I call him out on it. We have been married for 16 years now, always up front with who and what we are, don't see anything changing, our openness and love made it easier to overlook the little things and focus on the larger picture. No games just the real, games etc sooner or later and the real person shows through, and you just may not like what you end up with when the mask (or best face ) drops. <br />
A man should never make you feel stupid, or lower your self esteem, if he does run, run fast and far.

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omg im sure youre right !! he is being manipulative!! i never thought of that Thank You!!

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Glad I could share my insight with you so you wouldn't have to learn by being hurt like me.

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little late for that but its cool i appreciate you!

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thx it's always nice to be appreciated.

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He's the stupid one, not you. Don't give him the time of day!

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Thank you!! =))

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Sad to say. I was one of those insecure people. It's all about power, control and his ego. Kind of like a trophy. Sorry for all the insecure egomaniacs in the world

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youre awesome and thank you!

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