Why would my ex say this after 11years together?

She wants to cut you out of her life completely and is going about it by justifying some crazy ideology to herself. Hurting you will make you want to stay away as far as she is concerned. In my experience in this, she is lying about something and trying to hide it by dumping all the blame on you and hoping to shock you into leaving her well alone. She's up to no good and yoiu're better off without her. However, guiding retribution is never a bad thing. just my 2 cents

People say the oddest things sometimes when they're under stress.

Yeah she is saying that just to try and make you feel insecure about yourself. There is a very small chance she is re-thinking her decision of breaking up and is doing everything she can to make you feel as bad as she is. Even if she is not re-think thing women always go for the jugular! We always say what we think will hurt you the most if you don't seem upset enough for us after we break it off.

I totally agree with bebitz so go ahead and vote that for best answer.

I also agree that people say things they may not truly mean when they are unhappy.... however, she obviously wasn't happy until the day you broke up, or she wouldn't have broken up with you. That just doesn't make sense!

Don't take it on board. The girl's grieving the lost of someone very close to her and she's bound to say stuff she doesn't really mean, if only to make herself feel better...

My ex and I were together for 10 years, the first 3 were fine, the remaining 7 were bloody miserable. The ex thought all was fine and dandy until about 3 months before we split.
Just because you were happy and you thought she was happy, doesn't mean she was. If she was, she wouldn't have gotten to the point where she left. The fact that you are so sure that she was happy, when she obviously wasn't, could shed some light on why she left. Did you ever notice anything about her or her feelings? You didn't notice that she wasn't happy, that's a pretty big thing to miss. I'm not saying that it's all your fault, but if you open your eyes and stop living in denial, you might work it out.

she is as you say going through stress or she has changed and is looking at her past from hindsite. I say stupid stuff like that to my husband sometimes. When I do it is because I am under stress or I haven't come to terms with my own unhappiness yet and the decisions I made in life. Sometimes I still struggle with thinking this way. But at any rate, it sounds like you should move on and make yourself strong- wouldn't want something like your ex to break you down.

Mine told me that she thinks, that she never really loved me. After 11 years of marriage, oh yeah, four kids later too.So figure that one out. I think, they try to justify there actions. So they develop a block, and say the craziest **** I've ever heard. Take it for what it worth, know you'll find someone better. Lot's of fish in the sea of life, good luck David. white