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ilunmywife ilunmywife 41-45 9 Answers Jan 12, 2011

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Marriage counseling.<br />
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Edit: My wife wanted things to work but she refused counseling as well. I eventually left, there seemed to be no other choice.

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dhe does not want counseling :(

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ask her to put her "money where her mouth is." Then be ob<x>jective and LOOK for the good she actually does.

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Sounds like she just wants things to go away. That's too easy and a hugh mistake. Deniel isn't going to help you or her. Clearly things are worse.

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Have you tried therapy? <br />
if you have kids you should try and work it out if not mybe you guys can civaly split<br />
tell her you cant be the only one who is putting in any effort<br />
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REPLYY::<br />
ohh well if she isnt trying then its her own fault. give her an altimadum,counciling or seperation if she really wants it she will go, if she doesnt you guys need to try a seperation. you have to live your life you cant wait around forever! <br />
Good luck

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We have three kids and she said staying together is the right thing to do that is why she said to work it out. We saw therapist before but she not wanting that. I love her deeply and I dont want to mess things up. Its been two months since she wanted to work it out but has not shown me any affection. We live together, in diffrent rooms. I have talked to her but she said it stresses her to talk about our marriage. She keeps telling me she want to work it out but nothing is happening. I am growing very lonely and depressed about it.

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She says she wants to but is not doing anything, well if this was me I'd ask her WHAT does she want?<br />
You need to get it all on the table, the kids would be feeling your frustration and the atmosphere in home must be depressing.... she's got to come clean with her reasons.

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Please show your wife some more loving , she cant show you because she may feel rejected. I know I have in the past, usually when it happens its when I need it the most, so I can relate that it may be what is happening here to her. Show her and see what changes and please , please leave the topic alone until you find the day where both of your minds are clear enough to discuss the topic. Living in different rooms is a deal breaker , you didn't marry to sleep in separate beds, no matter how hard things are, Intimacy can bring you to a peak point of getting closer. Until you and her can talk things thru. And if that doesn't work, then try stepping out for a few days. relationships take a lot of work, but they should also be fun. Specially with someone you care for. Hope it helps

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If the right thing to do is that easy she would be doing her part, I think you feel like saying no it won't. <br />
Put a professional between the two of you and maybe you work at meeting somewhere in the middle.<br />
You have to align your values in relationship and hope you still see eye to eye. good luck.

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Not sure what your issues are: Infedelity would pretty much ruin a relationship especially with trust. But if it is something that needs a marriage counselor I do believe in trying to work things out. Never forget why you feel in love in the first place. Relationships take a lot of effort, kindness, compromise. Lots of Give and a little take.

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After a year of trying the first time and no intamicy I did venture off and was well on the way to divorce but my feeling for her were to strong. I changed in many ways all for the good and she saw that thats why she want to work things out. But saying she wants and doing are two diffrent things. I am once again growing lonely but refuse to venture out. What can I do to regain that loving feeling and make this work?

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that doesn't make any sense. "said it the right thing to do" doesn't make sense.<br />
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i don't know. ask. i'm sure there are many options out there. see what settles well.

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