As long as the man defines himself as more than his wheelchair. <br />
If the man is intelligent, kind, thoughtful, has a good sense of humour and generally enjoyable to be around, what's the problem?
THE PROBLEMS ARE YOUR INNATE COMPASSION TOWARDS HIM AND A LACK OF INHERANT SEXUAL ATTRACTION TOWARDS HIM ON SIGHT - I AM A MAN IN A WHEELCHAIR
No reason not to.
YES THERE IS - INSTINCTIVE COMPASSION - I AM A MAN IN A WHEELCHAIR
yes. most women want someone that will love and respect them and treat them well. If they find that, minor things like handicaps, looks, etc. go unnoticed. Personality is most important.
sympathy and romance don't go together - and your sympathy is innate you cannot avoid it. Yes I am a man paralysed from the waist
NO - SEXUAL ATTRACTION & INNATE PERCEPTION OF EACH OTHER AS EQUALS IS EVEN MORE IMPORTANT - I AM A MAN IN A WHEELCHAIR AND YOUR TALKING COMPASSION
Yup I would for sure :)
why for sure? whats your motivation? This is romance we are talking about
I AM a guy in a wheelchair... and the simple answer to the question is.... Yes.
SO AM I BUDDY - AND UNLESS YOU WANT INHERANT SYMPATHY FROM A WOMAN - THE ANSWER IS NO
Absolutely. My boyfriend is wonderful man on wheels. We are learning what it is like to go out and do things, and in my opinion, our life together is beautiful. Not easy, not perfect, but really what dating relationship is? I think that the challenges he and I face are more obvious than the challenges "normal" or "regular" (whatever the heck that really means) couples do, and yes, my parents and other people are concerned about "what kind of quality of life" I will have with him, but this is my answer: A BEAUTIFUL kind of life full of HAPPINESS and HARDSHIP. Just like everyone else. But different. So please, don't call women "liars" for answering yes to this question. It's not for everybody, yes--and honestly, it is most certainly not for the faint of heart. I wouldn't call any woman shallow who decided that it was too difficult for her. But I am thankful for everyday with my man, and I'm glad that I said yes to him--our challenges are worth the love and closeness that we share with one another. Also, I'd like to think that I'm at least not unattractive. ;-)
I HAVE TO ASK YOU THIS AS A MAN IN A WHEECHAIR MYSELF - WHEN YOU FIRST SAW HIM DID YOU FEEL AN INHERANT SYMPATHY TOWARDS HIM? REMEMBER COMPASSION -IS- SYMPATHY, AND WHEN YOU FIRST SAW HIM WERE YOU INHERANTLY PHYSICALLY ATTRACTED TO HIM? BOTH RELEVANT QUESTIONS
If he's a good guy and works as hard as he can, then yes. Sure there are some mean, shallow people out there, but they have a problem with a lot of people.
THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BEING MEAN OR SHALLOW. I AM A PARAPLEGIC FROM BIRTH AND I CAN TELL YOU MOST ABLEBODIED WOMEN HAVE INSTINCTIVE COMPASSION TOWARDS MEN IN WHEELCHAIRS - COMPASSION IS SYMPATHY SPEEDY. THOSE RELATIONSHIPS ARE DEGRADING
yes. whats the problem....? maybe they are intimidated.
Why wouldn't she? Obviously HE has no problem with it. She shouldn't either. People are ALL different. Chair or no chair..there is no difference.
YES THEIR IS - PITY.
You women are hypocrites and liars. you say it wouldn't bother you, how many of you have actually ever done it? ******* NONE of you. How many of you have been in a relationship with a guy who had any kind of profound disability. I'm not talking about ******* excma or any one of the other frankly trivial things people mention when they do that "I like disabled people, one of my friends can't walk properly, see what a good person I am?" trip they like to go on. I want to know exactly how many of you have had sex that wasn't just a pity **** with a person with a disability. Like I said, I bet it's none of you. I bet the closest any of you get is if your partner became disabled and you were one of the 30% of people who don't bail out of the relationship once the disability comes along.<br />
Just be honest. Just say you wouldn't go there because you're too afraid of what everyone else will think about you. You're too concerned other women will look down their condescending ***** noses at you. You're too conflicted when you meet a seemingly nice disabled person to go through with it, unless you're drunk or having a hard time picking up yourself, for whatever reason. Enough with the ******* lies, we're cripples, not idiots.
To be honest, I AM the guy in the wheelchair and I have come across that type of girl - won't say Lady because they aren't - that you speak of and I have no time for High School BS or Game-Playing that come right along side of a girl of that kind. I would say be above it and the quality of lady that you would come across will rise exponentially
I appreciate there are many women out there who are too scared or just cant or dont want to deal with all the things that come with dating a guy in a wheelchair. BUT there ARE those who can and do deal with it.
I am in a relationship with a wonderful guy, and he is in a wheelchair. It isnt always easy but who ever said life would be. I fell in love with him and the fact he is in a wheelchair isnt an issue (in the sense that it doesnt affect the way I see him, it can pose more practical issues but that's not my point).
I know that some people would find the different needs far too challenging, many would run at the mere mention of a morning routine or ICP, but I just want to point out that there ARE women who would and do date guys in chairs. We're not all lairs, just for the record.
Im not saying we havent struggled, and Im sure there will be plenty of things to come that will challenge us but the fact he is paralyzed doesnt change how I love or care about him.... we just live differently than other 'able-bodied' couples might....
if anything being in a wheelchair has made him more attractive - his outlook and enthusiasm for life is amazing and he is such a positive person (not all the time of course, he has his bad days too just like me but you get the point..)
He has been a better man, and a better lover than any of my previous partners. For those of you who say you wouldnt date a guy unless he still 'has a certain function' I understand the mentality BUT you have no idea what you are discounting! My man is an AMAZING lover, his focus isnt on his you-know-what because his pleasure comes from giving me pleasure. Im not saying every guy in a chair is like that but saying no to a relationship on that grounds is stupid.....
Do you not date someone because of their skin color? You should see the person not the wheelchair.......
Im currently in a friendship with benefits with a man that's in a wheelchair. I think I'm in love and I want to be more than friends. But he has been hurt in his previous relationship, I'm being patient. I've known him majority of my life. So I knew him before the chair. He was a ***** so I never dated him. I'm single and I gave it a try. The sex is good but he's in my head emotionally and I love it. No one has ever made me feel the way he makes me feel. And I love it. I can just be myself and feel comfortable no worries. Just making this post gets me hot.
BUT MY COMRADE - THEY THINK WE ARE, AND THAT WE WILL NOT NOTICE THE COMPASSION AND SYMPATHY
THEY SEE THE CHAIR PLEASE BE AWARE OF THAT. DO YOU REALLY WANT A WOMAN WHO FEELS COMPASSION TOWARDS YOU?
NONE OF THIS RINGS TRUE. YOUR CURIOUS AND COMPASSIONATE (SYMPATHETIC) THATS NORMAL X
BEING A PARAPLEGIC MAN MYSELF AND YOU BEING AN ABLEBODIED WOMAN WHOSE PARTNER IS ALSO A PARAPEGIC MAN I AM COMPELLED TO ASK YOU WHAT I BELIEVE IS A PERFECTLY JUSTIFIABLE QUESTION. DO YOU NOT MISS THE MOBILITY-BASED SPONTANETY OF ABLE-BODIED SEX
There is a such thing as an attractive woman dating a cripple?........Is this a joke?......Wait, no, my cousin is a cripple and he got a fat and ugly girl one time.......Maybe.......a better question is "How much liquor would it take for either sex?". There may be.......maybe he has quite a bit of money, I could see that. This question was a little vague. Torn clothing with a lot of facial hair and handicapped, put that mental picture in your head, ok, now walk through any given town for a couple hours and see how many women date guys that look like that (not handicapped), a lot of 'em r pretty sleazy lookin too. Now, how many of those women date the handicapped? <It would be a miracle if you found one of 'em. Maybe if the guy went to church and pretended like he had some money, there's a lot of naive girls there lol.
THATS THE ONLY HONEST POST IV READ SO FAR
99.9 percent of girls wouldnt date us, but there is 0.1% hope
YES. GIRLS IN WHEELCHAIRS
Someone date a guy in a wheelchair after 12years???
me and my best friend had a drunken debate about this last night..she say's no way unless the he is,um...functional elsewhere .<br />
my opinion..I would .Absolutely a great guy is a great guy,doesn't matter if he can walk ...and if I get tired of walking he could always give me a ride,as a stoner this is super appealing.
Only if he can pop wheelies. AND......at TV time he gets to sit on MY lap and wiggles his nubs. I get the remote though. lol
Heck yes. I'm attractive, athletic, kind, and financially well off. I ended up meeting a guy who rode his hand crank bike 20 miles on our first date AND he made me laugh the whole time. He's funny, optimistic, smart, employed (makes more than me), has two kids, and is really really kind. And the sex? It's mind-blowing. No more wham-bam-thank you ma'am. He really really cares about making sure I'm happy too. Sure, some times it's a little scary because it's new territory for me. But what if life but a wonderful adventure??
WAIT UNTIL THE PROBLEMS START
Yes. I am in a relationship with a wonderful guy who is in wheelchair :)
I saw my boyfriend for the first time across a bar. He was djing and I liked the music he played and thought he was cute. It took me a minute to tell he was in a wheelchair and although it didn't bother me, it did make me wonder if I thought I could be in a relationship with someone with a disability. When he packed up to leave he came over to my table to tell my friend, who he knew, goodbye. I asked him if he was drinking that night and he told me he couldn't even walk a straight line sober. He had me with that joke. It made me relax and I instantly fell in love with his personality and soon after his kindness and generosity. Does it help that he's the first guy I've dated with his own place and a job? Yes. And also that he's an animal in the bedroom. I'm not going to say that every girl needs to date a guy in a wheelchair, because honestly even he'll tell you that he, and I quote, "hates crippled people" because they're mostly all "depressing and down on themselves" and truthfully, he can be sometimes, too. If I carry in all the groceries or move a heavy piece of furniture by myself, he tells me he's sorry he couldn't help and he wishes he was better for me, and I tell him the truth. That he's the best thing that's ever happened to me and that I would rather have a guy who want to help me and does everything he can than a guy whose able bodied and doesn't do ****. Anyway, point is that girls will date guys in wheelchairs. And we'll get a whole lot of people telling is how much they respect us and how good hearted we are, which I laugh about knowing how much I love tormenting my boyfriend!<br />
Oh, and I think he's going to pop the question soon! :)
Do you have a sister?
IF YOU HAVE TO WONDER ON SIGHT YOU SHOULD FORGET IT
That's a silly thing to say. If you met a girl who constantly popped bubble gum, and you noticed the popping first thing, you would have to say, "do I think I could deal with this enough to form a relationship or would it get on my nerves?" My husband (the man I was speaking of) and I have been married since September now and when I think of him, I picture his smiling face and his sense of humor and the way he makes the feel, not his wheelchair first (unless I'm thinking 'wonder if I could pull him up these stairs, or something like that) Do I get frustrated that we cant hold hands and stroll down a beach together? Yes. But I'm not sad for him because it's something he's never done and doesn't care to do. However, I think if you're going to form an honest relationship with someone you have to consider all the good and the bad and decide how you feel about it. I have told him before that when we met I wasn't sure how I felt about dating someone in a wheelchair, and he understood how that could be a concern for me and doesn't judge me based on that. And before we got married he knew that my house is constantly going to look like a tornado came through because I hate cleaning. He gets frustrated with me and my messes and he deals with it because we love each other. People aren't all one sided and the fact that he is in a wheelchair is just one part of his character, even if it is a large part of his life.
Also, based on the fact that you responded to almost every person in this topic, I think your problem with the ladies might be your neediness and/or badgering, not the wheelchair.
what that guy is getting at is the fact that they are all being politically correct when it comes to this very sensitive subject matter. I am also a wheelchair user so I can fully relate to what he is saying here. They ARE lying - im sorry but they are. It is a very simple fact that practically NO able-bodied women see men in wheelchairs as inherently sexual and - forgive me but - we ARE talking about ROMANCE here, are we not? ROMANCE is INEXTRICABLY LINKED TO SEX, is it not? Now if you don't view a man as inherently sexual you will not be sexually drawn to him, correct? If you are not sexually drawn to him you logically will NOT GET SEXUALLY INVOLVED with him, correct? A+B+C+D
CAN YOU NOT SEE THE LOGIC IN A B C AND D OF THIS ARGUEMENT?
ONE LAST WORD, YOU MISUNDERSTOOD WHAT I WAS DOING AND IT WASNT BADGERING. STEP BACK FOR A MOMENT AND THINK. THE SUBJECT OF SEXUALITY & PHYSICAL DISABILITY IS A VERY SENSITIVE SUBJECT MATTER THAT THE MAJORITY WILL SHY AWAY FROM AT THE FIRST SIGN OF IT. UNFORTUNATELY AS I SAID BEFORE AND I WILL REITERATE IT AGAIN ; MOST ABLEBODIED WOMEN DO NOT THINK OF MEN IN WHEELCHAIRS AS INHERANTLY SEXUAL - THATS JUST NATURE - BUT AT THE SAME TIME THEY HAVE NO DESIRE TO OFFEND AND WILL INSTINCTIVELY RESORT TO POLITICAL CORRECTNESS ON REPLY. ROMANCE IS INHERANTLY SEXUAL SO IT MUST LOGICALLY FOLLOW THAT THE MAN OR WOMAN YOU ARE ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED WITH MUST BE SOMEBODY YOU ARE INHERANTLY SEXUALLY DRAWN TO? DO YOU NOT CONCEDE THIS? THAT BEING LOGICALLY THE CASE YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GET ROMANTICALLY SEXUALLY INVOLVED WITH AN INDIVIDUAL WHOM YOU ARE NOT INHERANTLY SEXUALLY DRAWN TO? DO YOU SEE MY LOGIC? MY SENSE? MY ARGUEMENT WITH MOST OF THE POSTS HERE IS THAT THEY ARE FROM WOMEN WHO CANT - WONT TELL THE TRUTH. THEIR CONCSIENCE WONT ALLOW THEM THE BLUNT HONESTY
YOU KIND OF PUT A BULLET IN THE LEG OF YOUR OWN ARGUMENT WITH THE BUBBLEGUM THING. YOU YOURSELF HAD TO STOP AND THINK "CAN I ACTUALLY DO THIS?" WHICH IS NATURAL BUT WHAT MADE YOU STOP AND CONSIDER AT ALL WAS THE FACT THAT THIS MAN "IS" IN A WHEELCHAIR. FURTHERMORE I CAN ASSURE YOU I AM FAR FROM NEEDY AS I AM A QUALIFIED BEHAVIOURAL PSYCHOLOGIST WITH A WIDE SOCIAL CIRCLE & A STEADY RELATIONSHIP FOR 13 YEARS. THE ONLY POINT THAT I AM TRYING TO MAKE IS REALLY TWOFOLD. FIRSTLY THAT MOST ABLEBODIED WOMEN DO NOT VIEW PARAPLEGIC MEN AS INHERANTLY SEXUAL BEING THE LOGICAL REASON WHY THEY USUALLY DONT DATE PARAPLEGIC MEN AS ROMANCE IS GROUNDED IN SEXUALITY AND ALSO THERE ARE ABEBODIED WOMEN THAT DATE PARAPLEGIC MEN FOR THE WRONG REASONS I.E. SYMPATHY. CURIOUSITY. NOW IM NOT ASKING YOU TO LIKE ANY OF WHAT IV SAID TO YOU EBILPANDA BUT AT LEAST ACCEPT THE REALITY OF IT.
The reality is that when I met my husband, I was immediately sexually attracted to his strong, muscular arms, long hair and blue eyes. Just because people aren't finding you sexually attractive doesn't mean that's the case for everyone.
Furthermore I can assure you that I'm a pretty shallow person. I could easily think of someone as being fat or ugly and not wanting to date them. And I'm not attracted to anyone else I've ever met in a wheelchair, just him. When we met, he was sitting behind a table in a dark bar, blasting a Disturbed song that I love over his Dj system. I could not tell that he was in a wheelchair and I already wanted him. When I realized that he was, in fact, in a wheelchair, it didn't make me want him any less.