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So I go out with a old friend and he brings his best friend along we start talking and we get along etc... long story short. She wants to take it slow because both of us had only just got out of previous relationship/fling. Now at first I thought okay I'm older now Iv'e had my share of fun, I can do this but now I'm confused cause slow is really slow and I don't know where I stand.. I asked and she just replied "I thought we were taking it slow" -_- I mean useally for me its... I like girl, she likes me, either one night fun or we date and get personal and then eventually we break up but with her its been... I like her, she likes me, we hang out, sleep in the same bed; but we are very far from personal I mean we haven't even had our first kiss -_-... Can someone give me a idea of whats happening? I don't like being confused it gets me angry :/ and I'm actually serious about this I've had enough of playing around it's time I had a long relationship and I would like her to be the one
Osah Osah 22-25, M 10 Answers Nov 12, 2012 in Struggles

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Sounds to me like she could have been very hurt in the past and she wants to make sure you're sticking around for the right reasons. If you really like her show her you're in it for the long haul.

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How do I do that? I mean I've introduced her to some of my family and I don't do that but I did :/

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Just stick with the status quo. Keep it casual and perhaps at some moment you'll know when the right moment is to kiss her or at least ask for one. No need to rush it, good things are worth waiting for.

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Lets hope it's good enough for the torture I'm about to put myself threw Aha! Thanks :)

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I hope so...good luck!!

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yeah dude, just wait a few years, it gets better, when women get older like mid to late 20's, they dont associate sex with love, as much and its alot more fun

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The rest of the woman around here don't either it's just her -_- Aha!

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I think the lady is messed up. She seriously wants you to sleep in the same bed without even kissing her? If you want to continue with this woman, I would set a few basic rules WITH HER.



If you go slowly, what does that actually mean to her? You can hold her hand? You can kiss her?



Maybe she is not sure of you. Of her feelings for you. And that is a big deal. Or.....she DOES know her feelings for you, and is afraid of them.

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I know it's terrible I mean she trusts me enough to hold her all night yet not enough for anything else hence why I'm confused.
I'll have to take her out sometime this week and ask her.
Either way it doesn't help me, I'm not asking for much, just a show of progess along the way so atleast I know it's going somewhere instead of sitting here making myself think " Your a idiot, why'd you have to go and be the nice guy". Aha!

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I think that if you care for her, please try and find out her real feelings. It depends on how long this has been going on. From other women, I have heard that it sometimes takes them a year to sleep with a man after a break-up and sometimes longer (and, to make you feel better, sometimes far less).

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I'll ask next time me & her are alone. Thanks :P

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Well each woman is different, so I couldn't really give advice without knowing who she is as a person. However, if I were her and doing the same thing, I'd probably want you to be the 'initializer', so to say. I'd want you to pour your heart out to me. Buuut with some women that would be a huge turn off so -_- I'm sorry I'm not much help :p

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Wow It might work but I'm not risking the pouring heart out can't do that... I'd end up remembering that for the rest of my life wouldn't be a good feeling Aha! Thanks :P

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She's probably still hurt from her break up..

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