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jane343 jane343 41-45, F 19 Answers Jan 30, 2013 in Romance & True Love

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I aspire to be loved and understood as a person, not simply as a female. I'm a person first, female second. Oscar Wilde didn't really love or understand women as far as I can tell from his writing. <br />
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But anyway... :)

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Yes, thank you so much, I agree :)
I always prefer to return on our commonality as humans rather than focus exclusively on gender based divides.

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Of course we all people first but i think Wildes point was that love and understanding are not the same thing. If we put our energy into understanding we sometimes miss the point of love. In my opinion Wilde is one of the few men who truly loved the very bones of women and was very wise in his approach to the subject...he also said "who, being loved, is poor".

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Thanks, I think I can see what you're saying. And clearly you're much more familiar with Oscar Wilde's attitude towards women than I am. From what you say he was wiser than I would have initially judged. The distinction between love and understanding is an interesting one.

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I think Wilde loved the very bones of women and as a victorian male he was before his time in this. He also said who,being loved, is poor? No gender issue with this just great thought x :)

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Nice to hear :) I think things can be misinterpreted quickly in today's climate of sharp gender divides. Who indeed is poor, being loved? Nice quote :)

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Thank you, Im not keen on sharp gender divides myself and i would always try and see the person before the gender or role but Wilde lived in different times and was able to see a bigger picture. I am so glad he shared as i have had alot of joy from his writing.

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3 More Responses

If we are to meet our minds, not just gonads, understanding is essential.

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it would require an effort?

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Effort is too big a concept for the lazy amongst us

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Soo True. Yet why do more women not understand this too? Because I think we are not meant to understand. That would take all the excitement out of it.<br />
Kind of like knowing what you are getting for Christmas,before you unwrap the presents.;)

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love your answer...very wise.

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Thank You...just some thoughts.

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Because most people just care about them selves, its sad but true

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because its upstairs for dancing and downstairs for thinking...they need to switch and start thinking with their minds!! lol

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That could cause a revolution x

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I don't understand LOL

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because men don't care about the love, they care about finding an answer. it's like they're genetically programmed to forget feelings easily if they don't have an explanation to everything a woman does/is.

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Some truth here. Too sweeping to say men don't care about love but very true that they search for answers and do seek explanations. x

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you are right, i suppose it is easy to assume they just don't care at all when realistically the care just sort of lessens when they are looking for their answers..

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I don't think I'll understand girls even if I try

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It ok not to understand them aslong as you love them

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