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I was raised in a cult where no one had a right to do anything that was not sanctioned by the head minister. When I escaped at the age of 33 with my two kids ages 10 and 11. I had never heard of marijuana or drugs. I had heard of alcohol and knew it was the devil's drink. I didn't know the laws of the land, nor even who the president of the United States was. All I knew when I left was that there would be no more rules in our house. So when the kids became teenagers and wanted to drink with all their friends, I told them that they could only drink here in the house. They could invite their friends over and drink but the friends would have to stay overnight and give me their car keys until morning. I thought I was doing the responsible thing and not letting them drink and drive. Now I look back and I wonder, "What the hell was I thinking? I could've lost my kids and gone to jail. But I didn't know that then. I feel I was a great mother because I was doing the best I knew how.
phoebe55 phoebe55 46-50, F 21 Answers Dec 6, 2012 in Parenting & Family

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If teens want to smoke pot and drink then they will, doesn't matter if you tell them not to..So I think it was good you let them do it in the house coz I would prefer my kids to do that stuff in a save environment instead of in the street where I wouldn't know what was going on...So I guess from a "good parenting" view you were "wrong" to let them do that.. but I personally think you were also right to give them a place to experiment safely and under supervision :)

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I would nominate you for a 'Mother of the Year' award

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Yes...my former sisters-in-law used the same fuzzy thinking to allow her children to drink and smoke pot in her home. The sister-in-law were alcoholics and one of them was a pot smoker herself....and because they sanctioned drinking and normalized it in the home, and because they modeled it, they ended up with alcoholic children, and drug-using children, and one of my former nieces-in-law died of a heroin over-dose.

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I'm so sorry that happened to her. That's sad. I never use alcohol. And I didn't even know what drugs were until I was 33 much less ever use them. I do really think that for my children, it was the right thing. When they left my home, they both experimented with alot of drugs, then they were done and now only use marijuana. Both of my kids now know how to make informed choices for themselves, which I still haven't fully learned to do, because of the cult brainwashing. I think the choices I made helped break the cycle my family was in.

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Yes I would

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would you prefere them doing it while hideing somwhere with noone who could react if something happend? cause I know if a kid wants to that's the only alternative to alowe it them

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Its the weed I wouldnt tolerate... not at all

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even there... if a child wants to do it he she finds a way...
so whats better at home where you can react if he/she falls unconscious or somwhere under a bridge?

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I am not having a child of mine bringing that c rap into my house or smoking it under a bridge. No way

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I would be careful about letting their friends partake without permission from their parents. I drank and smoked weed as a teenager even though my parents were against it so it would be absurd for me to think that strategy works. I would try to deter them from hard drugs though.

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you could be a worse parent and not give a dame at least your provieding a safe place and taking there car keys away

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Some would, but i'm an open-minded person.<br />
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of course those things can be harmful...<br />
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I recommend you to watch the film Requiem for a Dream.

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You're right you coulda gone to jail. We're all products of our environments.<br />
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I think letting the 'friends' do so is crossing the line. I would far sooner my kids are introduced to this stuff here at home than some other place.

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Yes. The drinking is not so bad but smoking weed is the worst for me. It's legal to drink under parental guidance but it's completely illegal to smoke weed. You'd be allowing your own kids to get ill from habits that YOU condoned. I doubt you'd feel like a good parent when they're lying in hospital with terminal lung cancer. You'd also be encouraging them to not take the law seriously and just do illegal acts privately.

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My children are now 29 and 30. I have finally resolved my guilt.

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3 words- DRAM SHOP ACT

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hm... let me say it like this if you educated your children about the problems... I don't think it was that bad... because lets face it if they want to they do it anyway... like this they were at least in a safe envirement...<br />
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to the no rules part... it's not healthy to grow up without rules or consequences... you learn it's right to do what ever you want and that results in not having respect for others or their well being

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Yes, I later found out that the no rule thing didn't work. It seemed coming from such a rigid upbring I swung way to th opposite side to avoid becoming my parents, but eventually learned to bring it all in balance. If I were to raise teenagers now, knowing what I do now, It would be totally different. My kids and I now talk about how I raised them. They know that it would be different too. But they understood my choices then and my daughter has told me more than once. "Mom, coming from where we were coming from it had to be that way. We had to break free, mom". That's enough for me to understand that everything happens for a reason.

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true and it seems like your kid's understood enough not to abuse it...
so everything worked out all right... and that's all you can wish for... you cared and that alone makes you a good parent

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Thanks

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you're welcome

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I feel bad though because I don't smoke weed myself, I don't mind being around it, and ya I think its better then becoming a alcoholic. I have told her my views on it several times, and I don't like it, and she is still young to..

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I let my daughter smoke weed. I figure if I can't stop it I might as well embrace it.

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