Would you create a false identity to plead for a cheating spouse?

Are you kidding me? I would have done the same thing, you had every right. Do not feel bad, you are trying to save your family, unlike your wife.

I did the same thing with my ex-husband. Guess what? It completely backfired on me. All it did was push him farther away from me and make his "lady" try all the harder to fight for MY husband. She went so far as to pretend to be my friend and be remorseful while all the while was talking to him behind my back. It was a horrible situtation. I am now divorced. My advice to you, give it up, let it go. Be the best daddy you can be and be on good terms with their mom, even if she doesn't deserve it. Move on. You can't force someone to see reason, especially when they are "in love."

My opinon for what it is worth, is you have tried to confront them both. Neither are willing to grow up, and show some morality themselves. You have tried to save your family, and fight for your children. After everything, what is left to do about the situation now? Don't feel bad because you tried.

You can't change much about other people's behaviour in these circumstances. Chances are there isn't much you could tell either of these people that they don't know already.
I think it's understandable you've gone to great lengths but I think yes you need to let go - I think the path to your happiness lies that way.

I agree 100% with fungirlmm. I know it makes sense to you, but if your wife already crossed the line and is cheating with this guy.... they're not gonna change their mind because you show up and say "excuse me, I believe this is wrong" (like they don't know it already).
My heart goes out to you, I really mean it, but it's like you don't get it... it doesn't work like that, It really doesn't.

I think you are blaming the wrong person....this guy isn't the one "destroying your family".....Your wife is the one who made vows to you, not him....she is the one, stepping outside the marriage.....not him....she is making the choice to risk everything....not him....

I think you are desperate...I am sorry about that....I know you must be thinking of what this will do to your kids.....but, you have to understand, that you cannot control her actions....and sneaking around, trying to "catch" her, is only going to tick her off, more....

You need to set some boundaries....lose the computer....tell her she needs counseling....go to marriage counseling, together......If she refuses these....you need to let her know that it will not continue....that you will not stand for this....

Why would you be trying to get ahold of the guy? Why not confront the person who promised you her fidelity? That internet is very powerful....and this guy has probably got her thinking the grass is greener.....(I've been cheated on in this very same way)......

I wish you luck....and peace.

take your children and leave!!!she is more concerned about herself..then the welfare of her family...of course you have done the right thing...disable the inter-net connection,that should be step 2!!!good luck....

Your not nuts...

do NOT "plead" with anyone. file for divorce. today.

Morally it is wrong to creat a false idenity to reach someone. However I understand this as I thought of doing it just to find out what my man is up too. Thing is HE knows you know and SHE knows you know. And you KNOW THEY KNOW YOU KNOW. So now what? Don't let her know what you are doing, get a lawyer,get the kids and leave her. if you don't act first she will take your kids 8 states away and their father figure will be some guy who is just playing games with your wife anyway. What an ego boost for him. a married woman has the hots for him and she she is so in to him she doesn't care if her man knows and THEN the poor sap is begging him to leave his wife alone. He probably beats off more to your messages than hers. BOY, you deserve better than this. Now go get it.

Your wife seems like a real c^&t, kick her out right now.