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I've known a good friend and his girl for about 7 years. They're getting married overseas, but coming home for a family wedding, and I've been invited. The day of the event happens to be my girlfriend's birthday. For various reasons, she doesnt get along with my friend or his fiance, which compounds the issue. I mentioned it to her and she was angry that I would consider being apart from her on her birthday. I still want to go out of town with her and celebrate, as we do every year, but I also want to be there for my friend; he's the type that will only marry once. My ideal response from my girlfriend would have been, "Well, the wedding is only a couple of hours, and I know you want to support your friend. We'll schedule everything so it works out, but you owe me a fabulous dinner!" Is it unrealistic to expect this kind of a compromise? If you were in this situation, what would you do?
jonathanwhite jonathanwhite 31-35, M 7 Answers May 22, 2010

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your friends will forgive you quicker than she will

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If you really care about your current relationship, you should not disregard your girlfriend for a friend she doesn't "get along well with". It's sad but sometimes relationships necessarily shadow friendships. Your friend overseas should understand your situation.

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why do you care what they do when you already have plans?

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Your expectation of your girlfriend is correct...even if she doesn't get along with these people she has to understand they're your friends and like someone else said: Weddings happen only once (hopefully).<br />
You guys could go to this wedding and then go out and celebrate your girlfriend's birthday. <br />
If she doesn't understand and is so damn selfish maybe you should consider finding someone that will want to make YOU happy.

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Make it up to her - take her out for dinner or a shopping trip. Seeing someone ON their birthday isn't that big of a deal. The main thing is that you make an effort to spoil her some time around her birthday, doesn't have to be ON the day.<br />
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A wedding DAY isn't something you can make up for later. It's one day. and once in a lifetime (hopefully!)<br />
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(Sorry, I only just realised it was you GF's b'day, not your friend - <br />
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I understand her hurt, but surely she can understand and see you later that night or something...?<br />
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Just be gentle with her and explain how much it means to you that you be at your mates wedding, but also emphasis how much SHE and her special day means to you too and that you want to do something really special with her later on.)

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