Would you pretend to like a spouse's friends band for your spouse?

This is an important test of what life will be like for you as a married couple. There is a BIG part of marriage that is about compromise and supporting one another instead of simply doing the things you like or always doing the things someone else likes. There is being honest with respect and sensitivity and being brutally honest and hurting someone you love.

In this instance you can do several things. First, don't lie but be tactful.... "well honey this isn't my kind of music but I do like_____".... (add whatever you DO like). Are they dedicated, dance alot, maybe its just how passionate or silly your fiance gets when listening to them. And then ensure you go to some shows, you don't have to like them, but since you love your mate it is right to do some of the things he likes. But that doesn't mean you have to sit through every band session either. And trust that there are plenty of things he sits through just for you, too.

Welcome to married life, :). and good luck!!

Us girls have to stick together! LOL! I think that it's best to be tactful....state that you appreciate the commitment to the music....that you enjoy SEEING them play but the MUSIC isn't really your cup of tea. That way you are being supportive, impartial and honest....which helps to make a good sounding board for his friends in the band.

Besides, I think people prefer honesty....you can't really fake enjoyment....they'll see right through you...end of friendship...

Ultimately, it's up to you....

Sammy Jo Duponte xx

Sometimes in life we have to make small sacrifices for the people we love. It's as simple as that. :)

I certainly wouldn't say they sound like garbage, even if they irredeemably do. ;o) The best approach would be just to say that you're just not into the scene but you're happy that he is. Keep it simple to limit discussion so you're not tempted to share your true opinion. Do discuss expectations of behavior, however - he won't linger after a performance to flirt with the groupies, you won't be using the time he's away to party without his knowledge, etc.

Don't agree to wait up because that kind of agreement could come back to haunt you - changes in your responsibility load are almost inevitable and could put you in a position where you are expected to wear yourself out unnecessarily.

anyone who gets off their butt and does something ...should be encouraged and supported whether we enjoy it or not..
hey i love hanging out with bands and musos ...i aint no groupie...im past my used-by-date on that one....
but musos are fun and interesting people no matter what type of music they play
cheers

Honesty is the best policy. That said, there's no need to be harsh and tell him they sound like "garbage". If you're getting married, he should be able to respect a difference in taste. If they play a lot and he wants to see them all the time, you could try going sometimes, but maybe you don't go every time. If you really, really just don't have any fun at the shows, maybe that's the night you go dancing with the girls or something else you enjoy, but he doesn't love to do.
My husband is in a band and has friends in bands. I asked him your question and he said he'd rather know the truth.

Try it a few times to see if you really like it or not, then tell the truth in a nice way. If you don't like it you will eventually get bored and anoyed. That would not be good for the relationship. Go have fun with other friends then meet back with him at the restaurant, coffee shop or home after.

Yes. Unless they were so obnoxious I couldnt stand them. But I dont see how that would be possible if my love was their friend.

This is a pretty shallow way of thinking about this situation. If there are mature open minded people involved they would see clarly that this is not about lying or not lying- it's merely about respecting another person and supporting their interests even if it is not something they intrinsically enjoy themselves. As you consider others more than you do your own self in every day actions, you actually begin to widen your own intersts- as you begin to see what the other person appreciates in whatever it is they like.

It depends how bad they really are. If you really can't stand them then there's no reason to pretend like you do, in my opinion.

I'm not a guy but my husband does have his own band (well, sort of; he's in a hip-hop group). Anyway, when it comes to telling what you think of someone else's music, I'm sure your fiancee would want you to be honest. I think you should be honest with him and tell him that it's just not your taste of music. However, if it was his band, your opinion would mean a lot to him because he'd have to take it personally.