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If you are a man and you have a son, do you tell him the total truth about life? Life isn't the rosey image teachers would portray, its brutal and cruel in reality. Is it better to clear illusions. Give him the gorey truth, your experiences and a head start??
artymike8 artymike8 41-45, M 11 Answers Mar 27 in Parenting & Family

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We have thus far with my child and she's only 2.5. People and pets die, people are mean, people will use you, some people can't be trusted, there are emotions people feel such as jealousy, depression, sadness, anger and frustration. Along with those concepts we're teaching her how to deal with them. Life isn't fair, and while I still think she's MY special little flower, you don't always get a participation trophy in this life, and she will not grow up with a sense of entitlement. She will have to work hard for some of the things she truly desires, and even then she might not get them. <br />
Like the goddamned pillow pet the advertise on PBS. She will never have one of those unless someone else gets it for her.<br />
There are ways of addressing these concepts for little ones that aren't so negative, but we've always felt they were important to discuss when they come up. By doing so, we've noticed she handles upsetting situations a lot better than many of her peers. We want her to learn failure, accept it when needed and move past it. Ask for help when she needs it but if we know she can do something not doing everything for her - even if it is frustrating for both of us. I don't know of you'd classify that as a "headstart" as only she will live through her life experiences, and draw what she will from them. She can't/won't necessarily learn from my or her father's mistakes - some of that will have to come from her own failures we stand by and let her make.

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What truth is there except that they have to be self sufficent? Brave? Smart? Handy? Honorable? Trustworthy?<br />
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Instead of painting a dim view of life, try teaching them that they have a hand in how they grow up and how to make smart choices? How to be respected? Teach them that they hold the secret to their lives in their own hands. <br />
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They will figure out that life isn't so bad when they have a tool box to deal with the shiat they have to fix later on?

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That's what my dad did with me, and I maintain he did the right thing. I feel that I was much more prepared for life when **** got real as I got older.

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I think having the truth is more important than anything else. It tends to put the child's feet firmly on the ground. I wish my parents would have gone over finances more with me when I was younger then I wouldn't have had some of the issues I had when I first became an adult

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I would and I did.

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My truth might not be his truth later in life but I would teach him how to think.

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The view that the world is brutal and cruel is only a reality for someone who believes that. Maybe you should give him the chance to create his own positive reality

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If I had a child, I wouldn't be so negative. However, I would tell them about any brutal experiences I may have had slowly and ba<x>sed on how much they can assimilate at a time.

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