I am a male who attempted (unsuccessfully) suicide on January 3, 2012. I had placed a metal pan full of burning charcoal inside my car. I let it fill the car for awhile, then got in. After I was in the car about a minute, I realized things were not going according to plan. A fire was starting inside the car and I was going to die from smoke inhalation rather than carbon monoxide. So I bailed out. I felt pretty sick for about a week and I felt I was going to cough my lungs out. My body feels fine now, but my psyche is still a wreck. Did I fail because God wants me to live or because I am an incompetent fool?<br />
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Regarding the reasons, my once-brilliant life has been going off the rails for years. It just gets worse and worse and I don't think it will ever get better. I'm so worn out.<br />
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I think the common thread of all suicides is that the individual feels that his or her relationship with God is broken. I used to feel like God was looking over me an had special plans (because I was special). I haven't thought that for a long time.

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