Well one who claims to forgive and doesn't forgets is only finding his pride in forgiveness, his only intention is to ride the horse of greatness but not actually forgiving one who is being sorry. So either you forgive and forget or you simply don't, between these two are grudge, pride & ego.
Disagree on that last sentence.
I don't agree.<br />
There are people I've forgiven, however, due to the nature of the act against me I no longer trust them in the area in question. I don't dwell on it or bring it up with them, but because I keep it in the back of my mind I know where to draw the line with my interactions with them.
As they say..."Wise forgive but never forget"!!
To be more precise ....Thomas Szasz
It seems you've forgotten. lol
I agree on your definition of forgiveness. If I forget then good, but forgetting how people hurt you just sets you up for the potential to get hurt again. Maybe not by the same person, but by someone in a similar situation. However, you can not forget and still not be resentful or hold a grudge.
Maybe you're right. Food for thought.
No, forgiveness has nothing to do with forgeting. If you've forgotten, you have no need to forgive...there was no real damage. Moving on is what you do with forgiveness.
No,that's not true. Forgiveness is not like preteding something hasn't happened. You don't forgive by ignoring to truth.
I don't agree.<br />
If I forget and have a case of amnesia about the event, there would be no reason to forgive something I don't even remember happened. But if I've forgiven someone knowing that I will remember the event, the hurt they caused, for the rest of my life, is says a lot more.
I've used that quote several times myself. I never said I was holding a grudge however. Going along with what you say, how did you erase from your member that which you have forgiven? Do you not recall the events at all? It isn't possible.
Why do you keep putting words in my mouth? lol No matter. I understand what you are trying to say. If you forgive, you will never NEED to bring it up again. Fine. But there is a difference between a need to recall a memory and being incapable of remembering. Amnesia is a pathological impairment.
This is a great topic for discussion. I want you to know that I am not frustrated by it. I am actually enjoying it. Text does not convey emotion well and I didn't want you getting the wrong impression. :) That said, you have twice put words in my mouth or better phrased, suggested a different meaning than I intended. 1. I did not say I held a grudge. I just remember the event. 2. I did not say a person needs to bring up the event, just that most people can't force themselves to forget it. I understand you fell that you can. I can't, nor do I want to. Here is an example that also answers your question: Yes, it can be done. Ask any parent if they remember their child flushing their keys down the toilet or something similar. Few parents forget these events or hold resentment towards their child when they talk about it. The memory for most, including myself, becomes a funny and endearing part of the story that is my child. It would be a shame to wipe away memories of my children because my forgiveness was not strong enough to hold true with the memory intact. I see it opposite of your view. If you have to will yourself to forget the event, your will is not strong enough to actually forgive. Forgetting becomes a replacement for forgiving and removes the the emotional effort required that makes someone a better person. It also removes the opportunity to become more wise because they retain no knowledge of the experience and or even their own kind act of forgiving would be gone. It is fascinating that you can will yourself to forget sections of your life. I've never heard of someone doing this by choice without their being a major traumatic experience involved.
Well point taken but in my case I forgives but it's not easy to forget. I hold no grudges and try to understand where he comes from and I still dislike him for all the pains he put me through. There are things in life that reminds u of a person and it can't be helped. I love Nelson. He was amazing and we should follow his example but we are not saints like him. You have to be extra strong to shrug it all off.
What about the abused kids? Can they forgive? They can. Can they forget their traumatic childhood? No they can't. How can they? Those who abused kids are unforgivable but its possible to forgive them but not forgotten.