You have a 14yr daughter, and find out 1 of her friends got preg on purpose, would you let her still hang with friend?
14 year old daughter's friend, (friend sleeps over sometimes, hangs out with the group, daughter likes her but doesn't really trust her, and is guarded with her truly personal stuff around her for fear of rumors) gets pregnant on purpose because she "wanted a baby" would you let your daughter continue to hang out with the girl? Why / Why Not.
I'm asking for opinons... so don't leave a crappy, judgemental answer.
13 Answers to "You have a 14yr daughter, and find out 1 of her friends got preg on purpose, would you let her still hang with friend?"
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Yes because if you forbade it she will only want to be her friend to spire you because that is what teenagers do.
If you let her remain friends, there is probably about a 99% chance she will eventually drop her anyways because that is just what happens. Teens ultimately just want to be teens and not saddled down with a teen mom friend.Like (3)
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When you make something forbidden, that tends to have the opposite affect of what you want to accomplish. Mystery adds to desire. Talk about the situation openly. It sounds like your daughter already has trust issues with the girl. Let her make her own choices, but make sure they are informed choices. And make sure she understands the long term ramifications of her friend's choice.
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That's a tough call. Your daughter seems to have a fairly realistic take on what kind of person her friend is, and has behaved accordingly. Try having a talk with her, and voice your concerns. Listen to hers. Putting your foot down may have just the opposite effect; perhaps you should just try to limit contact. The problem might take care of itself in time.
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If she is allowed to hang out with her friend, she will probably get board of her, and move on. Just look at what your daughter is missing in her life, and decide if she would use a baby to fill the gap.
Alot of young women have babies to trap their boyfriends. What kind of example to you set of men in your daughters life, what kind of example of men has the men in her life shown her? It all depends on what the parent is doing, how you have nurtured her and so on.Like (2)
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As a parent it's your job to give your kids a good example. If your goal is to raise her to wait until she's a mature woman before she has kids, then you should limit the bad influences in her life. People some times call that being discrimatory. I call it being wise and cutting off problems before they happen. Many people make poor choices, having kids out of wedlock as a teen is a bad start for any child. That should be the lesson your daughter learns. We have a mother on our street with a daughter our daughter would play with. The woman recently had another child out of wedlock. My wife and I both frown upon it. NO father, NO job, and her other daughter learns that she can do it and be on welfare. We didn't want our daughter learning that lesson, so we quietly cut off ties by not having play dates with that girl anymore.
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Yes. And I do have a 14 yr old daughter. I have taught her right and wrong and would trust her to make the best decision for her life. My kids are both very intelligent and don't give in to peer pressure...Like me...
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Talk to your daughter about it. Dont forbid her to be friends with anyone. I think that would insult her intelligence. We all have friends who make questionable decisions. Doesnt mean we all follow suit.
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For starters, I'd ask her what she thinks of this friend and of what the friend did.
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Yes, that's already been done.... I've been honest with my daughter her whole life, there is no topic off limits and we have both agreed that this girl has been in for trouble since she got into middle school.
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she sounds very responsible and trustworthy. As long as your daughter keeps telling you her thoughts and feelings, I'd say let her continue hanging out with the friend until you see some distress on her part or unwanted ideas of change. Does she want to keep hanging out with this friend? have you told her that you're debating whether or not to let her continue doing that?
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Why not? If one denies a child to be friend with someone, the child will simply defy the parent even if they know it is wrong. It will go the wrong way.
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i would say yes! because u dont no why she wanted to get preg she probley didnt have no in her life tht really cared, she also could have been lonely when i was at tht age i wanted to do the same think.
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They don't sound so close to begin with- encourage better friends
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I personally wouldn't because little ***** always get their friends in slutty situations too.
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Best Answer (Chosen By Asker):
Posted by denabob May 23rd, 2012 at 8:09AM
When I was 15, I had the same situation. My best friend became pregnant. The Dad to this baby was the same age, but in trouble with the law for stealing and what-not. My parents never said much about it, and I wonder why. I even went with her to see him in a county jail. And when she had the baby, the two of us would run around all over town pushing a stroller. I had common sense though. I finally quit being her friend because of who she was dating. I have flat told two of my friends in my life, I was done being their friends because of who they were dating, I didn't want to get in trouble. Now, years later and I am married with my own children, I look at where my friends are in life, and I see what bad choices they made and glad that I moved on. I am in such a better place then they are. Because I made the decision to stand on my own and not get pulled down with the wrong croud. I did this on my own. I think I may of been a good influence to my friends back then. I sometimes think my parents should of been more concerned about what I was doing. Maybe talk to your daughter. See what her morals are. Does she feel she has to go with the croud if they are doing something to get in trouble, or can she be the one who says; No when things go south? Sometimes in HS. It is hard to seperate yourself from the friends you have. For me, I wasn't the high grade point average. I wasn't the athletic kind. And I didn't like to get in trouble. But I fit in better with the kids who got in trouble, which made me watch my back and after highschool said, I'm off to college and if you want to still be my friend, drop your druggie boyfriend, because I refuse to be around trouble. My life is worth more. But if this were my kids in this situation, I as a parent would hopefully be more aware, more supportive, and have more influence then my parents did. I also feel that my faith in God helped me deal with a lot of things back then too. Maybe get her involved in other things where she will meet new people. Hugs and good luck
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Reply by sexisimone May 23rd, 2012 at 12:53PM
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Reply by denabob May 23rd, 2012 at 3:47PM
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