ScaR97731 ScaR97731 46-50, M 9 Answers Aug 12, 2010

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Churches are the not answer any more. I have been attending the same church for 20 years. I am going through a very tough time, both financially, physical, and emotionally. I wasn't asking for money or anything like that, just asking for prayer. I got "It's tough for everyone right now.", "Everyone has that problem." It's tough all over.

I would have loved to hear, "Gee that's too bad, I certainly will be praying for you. Let me know how things are going."

My so-called friend at church have alienated me. They have stopped coming over, stopped calling, and won't even return my phone calls or e-mails. I can't believe I wasted all those church. So I stopped going to that church. Tried another church. The first thing the pastor asked was if I was looking for hand outs. We have to help our own people first. I didn't say anything, just I was looking for a new church. needless to say,

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I lived in my car for 2 and a half years and I got my life back together. It was not easy, though more of a step-by-step, never giving up, situation. I now have worked as a teacher for 10 years. I still feel like I'm a paycheck away from the streets, since I haven't been able to save money on my low paying job and I'm very scared g lot of the time because I have no friends. My job seems very stressful and I work very long hours; I haven't made friends with any other teachers (everyone is under a lot of pressure and it hasn't made for a friendly environment). So, even though I got off the streets and got a job, my life seems very hard still to me. I think it was Mother Theresa who said Homelessness really means a person "has no friends or family." So, I still have no friends and family. But, I have a job. And that means something.

Here's how I came back from living on the streets with no friends and massive debt: I went back to school. Yes, it was hard but I didn't give up and I got disability accommodations for late papers, etc. I went to a doctor and they wrote up a diagnosis of Major Depression, which I truly had, and I still seem to have. I applied for Social Security Disability, with this diagnosis. I appealed their decision. I stayed in school, first at a community college. I got enough units to go to a nearby University....still homeless. I took out a student loan for university costs. I looked for low-income housing and got on a list...and waited. I got marginal housing I graduated. I looked for a job. I got a job. I made myself keep this job even though I wake up crying a lot of times and go to sleep alone, crying. So, you can come back from that....but, as Mother Theresa mentioned, the problem may really be lack of associates.

Even though I have shelter now, and barely meet my bills, though I do have a job, I still have no associates. I don't really know how to deal with this underlying problem. However, I do know that if you once had friends, when you become homeless, they go away. I think family tends to help during times like this, sometimes family is there through thick and thin.

My family is very dysfunctional and wouldn't help me with I was on the streets. Though I wanted to ask you: Do you have *any* family?

If I advised, after going through this myself, I think *any* person who might be on your side is worth looking up right now. It might be difficult to get a rejection, but think of it this way: What have you got to lose. I've thought of my own homeless situation a great deal: working and finding shelter haven't solved my heartache: I remember Janis Joplin's song: Freedom is Having Left To Lose. If I advised myself right now, that's what I'd recommend: Bringing life to a place where you have nothing to lose.

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Remind yourself that, under these circumstances, you have nowhere to do but UP.

You may not be able to get money easily in this situation. You may not even have the resources to declare bankruptcy. But you CAN make friends. Find churches, charity organizations, anyplace where you can meet people and talk to them. This board was probably a good start, so it looks like you are on the right track. If you meet enough people, you will get some help or at least some good advice from some of them.

Be willing to do whatever it takes. Recognize that you may not have an answer to this immediately. But persist, keep trying and keep thinking and socializing and, sooner or later, you will come up with something. Meanwhile, you will have to survive cleaning car windshields or doing chores or spare changing on the streets, recycling bottles, hub caps, etc. Good luck. Hope things improve for you soon.

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Think back to how you got started after leaving school, and try and do the same things again..good luck.

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Been there unfortunately! Church is free and they also have diverse resources!They even have counseling

& will pray with you for inner spiritual guidence.You ARE loved & I wish the best for you!

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