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Your man say he feels great pressured at work and will break down if he has to sort out a day of surprise for your bd ..

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Asked By: pastispast 31-35  1 year ago

He is under great pressure from all direction at work. Its your birthday and he missed it. So you ask him to arrange a day of surprise (i.e. he arrange where we go where we eat, not a big party!) in two weeks time (which happends to be the anniversay).

come the weekend. He says he has been under huge pressure at work and if you insist on him to arrange a day of surprise he will break down.

What would you say or do? Be understanding? or thinks he is putting you at the bottom of his pile?

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6 Answers to "Your man say he feels great pressured at work and will break down if he has to sort out a day of surprise for your bd .."

  1. Joseph84 - 26-30 years old - male

    Posted by Joseph84 Nov 2nd, 2011 at 10:52PM

    You said yourself that he is under great pressure from all sides at work. So it seems you are already aware that he is stressed out, and yet you want him to plan this day for you or he is putting you at the bottom of the pile..I have to take the guys side on this. He's working, and coming home to you..spare the drama and tell the man it's your birthday, plan your anniversary the way you want, then the pressure is off him. He is more than likely going to be willing to do whatever it is to make you happy.

    Like (5)

  2. wolvescry2 - 36-40 years old - female

    Posted by wolvescry2 Nov 2nd, 2011 at 10:55PM

    Be understanding. Knowing that he was under so much pressure has me wondering why on earth you asked him to pull together such an event. That takes quite a bit of work. This isn't the movies. Normal people aren't capable of throwing lavish surprise parties for their partners after they've worked their @ss off all week at work. A quiet dinner out would have been a reasonable request. Maybe you should do something to help him cope better with his work situation??

    Like (3)

  3. pastispast - 31-35 years old

    Reply by pastispast Nov 2nd, 2011 at 11:02PM

    I was only asking him to find a place for us to spend the day together, for him to pick a resturant and not ask me or for us to wonder around for an hour before we get to eat. I wan't after a big surprise party. Because it is always me organising where we go, what we do, where to eat. Why can't he do some of that? Plus doing that should take his mind of work, , give him a break where he can be happy. Is it that wrong???

    Like (1)

  4. Fiammetta - 41-45 years old - female

    Posted by Fiammetta Nov 2nd, 2011 at 11:44PM

    A day of surprise? I'd be happy with a card and a cup of coffee

    Like (2)

  5. fatgirl77 - 31-35 years old - female

    Posted by fatgirl77 Nov 2nd, 2011 at 11:24PM

    i would ask him what he wants to do for a special day, & plan something for him. it sounds like he works pretty hard. you ought to be grateful he even has a job, many of us do not. you'll have another birthday next year. for now just be patient & understanding that he is doing the best he can.

    i don't think i would tell my bf, you HAVE to surprise me with a special day in 2 wks; doesn't that take away the "surprise?" it wouldn't mean as much for me if i had to tell him to do it. he will make it up to you when he is able.

    Like (1)

  6. B3lla01 - 46-50 years old - female

    Posted by B3lla01 Nov 2nd, 2011 at 11:06PM

    I agree with everyone so far. He seems to be communicating with you and this is the time to be supportive and try to make him relax at home instead of adding more stress. Try to listen and let him vent. If you want celebration, then surprise him with a great dinner and cake for "your birthday". I'm sure he will surprise you and reward your thoughtfulness when he is in better shape mentally.
    Oh and btw Happy Birthday!! ^_^

    Like (1)

  7. ecpc - 41-45 years old - male

    Posted by ecpc Nov 2nd, 2011 at 11:05PM

    Definitely respect their truth..They are being honest and open.."Special days" can often be conformist episodes of compliance,.rather than magical acknowledgements of how great things are,.or how special a person might be..
    I would feel pressured by your desires and when under stress,.and having expressed my predicament,.i would likely react in the opposite direction..That is to say i might cancel all commitments and go into survival mode,.which can include breakdown.
    I would be wanting some empathy and support..If my plight came second to some "special day" romantic "jump through the hoop" type affair,.i would run a mile and probably keep running.

    Like (1)

  8. pastispast - 31-35 years old

    Reply by pastispast Nov 3rd, 2011 at 7:24AM

    Just to clarify I did tell him it was ok and I understand that he was under great pressure. We ended up just going away for the weekend as planned. He remembered it was his birthday the day before but not our anniversary... he didn't even have a card... I mean I do lots of things to ease his pressure. I do majority of the things at home, take care of the house, food supply, clean, make dinner for him to come home to after a long day. practically let him do what he pleases in the event. Am I really asking that much just to have a piece of him in his busy day?

    Like (1)

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