A Letter I Want To Send To My Husband

The foundation and core of this marriage is severely broken.
My input, values, thoughts, feelings, and parenting choices are all dismissed and or overruled by his. He values his friends and families opinions above our own marriage and children.
There is so much lying, dishonesty and omissions that I have severe doubts that I even know who he is anymore. I don't know when ( if at all ) he is being sincere or just acting, or wether he has any intentions on carrying out anything he ever says. So much so that when he says he loves me, I don't believe him anymore (I'm afraid it's all a big farce)
There are so many mind games and manipulation that I am constantly confused and don't know which direction I'm going in. If I confront him on it he manages to make me feel like its my fault or its me that's the problem.
There is absolutely no responsibility for him around here. He doesn't play with or enjoy our children unless I insist he does. His priorities for himself supersede the well being of our children.
He has an excuse for everything! And I need to accept it as the end all be all, or else! But there is no wrong doing or faltering allowed on my behalf with no plausible valid excuse ever!
I have done my best to reach out in various ways good and bad. But I have reached a scary point to me. I feel I've said and done all I can, aside from being a doormat and being used until I'm unrecognizable.
I am leaving it in his hands to wake up and put some seriously truthful kick *** hard work into this marriage because at this point this marriage is not a marriage and I'm exhausted being the only one who works at it.
And the way I feel truthfully.... I don't think he will, I have no faith left in him.
Fullofresentment Fullofresentment
31-35, F
1 Response Apr 25, 2013

I totally get what you are saying and feel for you too. I'm in the same kind of marriage if not worse. I'm stuck cuz I can't leave. I live in a counrty that gives him the right to take the kids no matter what. I dont want that specially for my daughter because he would change her school which she loves and is the only "normal" place in this stupid counrty.
I have lost hope in him changing or even thinking he might want
to see me or do anything but for himself.
I have decided to take it and stick around for the next 3 to 4 years, enough for my daughter to graduate, then leave.
All I do is acting like I'm ok.